A horrifying thought

After catching Larry King's bit about a potential Joe Jackson movie/documentary/reality show (gag!gag!gag!), I decided that it was time for me to return season two of Martin to the video store.

As I was unlocking my car door and thinking about the love songs I would hear on the Nite Lite/Quiet Storm, a mortifying thought popped into my head: what if Jermaine Jackson decides to pull a Natalie Cole and make Michael Jackson's signature songs into duets with him?

HOW JUMPING FCUKING CATFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope the fcuk that the people responsible for MJ's catalog will put the kibosh on that. It's bad enough that a rumor circulated about Ashlee Simpson wanting to do an MJ tribute album. Why hasn't H.O.P.E (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) risen again, since clearly, the outpouring of sympathy and the ravenous desire to embrace all things MJ (during his prime) signal that there is a desperate base longing for legitimate talent and artistry.

But back to Jermaine... I implore those who are in charge of MJ's catalog to NOT bow down to the Jackson machine, which will eventually try to rely on sentimentality, much like Natalie Cole did in the 90s. Like Natalie Cole, Jermaine lacks the vocal ability to complement the originator of signature songs. I can't tell you how irritating it is to think that you will hear Nat King Cole sing Unforgettable, but instead hearing Natalie Cole croaking in, disrupting the smooth that is Nat King Cole. If, somewhere down the line, I hear the annoying Jermaine nasal during Rock With You, I swear, I will run amok!!!