Soooooooooo wrong... but soooooooooooooo fcuking funny!

RIP, Gary Coleman.

Gary Coleman... gone

I like how fans are giving celebs their flowers while they are still hear. I really love how Betty White is getting hers; kinda dubious about Brett Michaels is getting his, especially if the flowers seem to be ill-gotten (The Apprentice). Nevertheless, people should let others know that their efforts are appreciated while they are coherent and healthy enough to appreciate it. Sadly, Gary Coleman didn't get his until he was in a coma, so who knows if he ever heard or knew about them.

Didn't much care for the press' treatment of his death on Friday, especially the way The Insider handled it. Yes, they were respectful, but they were also deceitful and hypocritical. They should've acknowledged that their stage was the scene of one of Gary's last public humiliations and that it was at the hands of legal expert Lisa Bloom, who preceded to do a victory lap on various 24/7 news outlets like CNN and HLN. I hope our peroxided Ursula relished the amulet containing Coleman's outburst because hopefully, her conduct after the unwarranted confrontation will be remembered, just as Nancy Grace's grilling of Melinda Duckett continues to be a black mark.

At any rate, I hope that at some point, Gary was proud of his work on television. As I said in a previous post, I will never understand this conspiracy of making people/audiences forget. Gary Coleman was more than 'What'cha talkin' 'bout, Willis?' Hell, the first season of Diff'rent Strokes wasn't made by that line. It was the sincerity of the performances. It was the writing. It was the chemistry among the actors. It was the way that the child actors melded with their adult counterparts. It was too bad that Diff'rent Strokes drifted away from those elements and at points, became too preachy and heavy. But then again, the audience was partly to blame, since they had certain expectations on how things should've played out onscreen and off, resulting in limited opportunities for the younger actors.

Nevertheless, Gary Coleman possessed a spark. And while he carried it onto Diff'rent Strokes, he had it long before, as demonstrated on previous guest starring appearances like on Good Times and The Jeffersons. His appearance on The Jeffersons was one of my favorite performances - loud/smart-mouthed Raymond, George's nephew from Chicago. Little Raymond gave Uncle George the blues BIG TIME!







Doing good work, at some point, is better than never doing it at all. And the fact that Gary did it while battling serious health problems deserves additional consideration. Hopefully, NOW, Gary will find some peace and maybe, a resurgent (albeit procrastinated) amount of respect.

Now... can you see how it could happen?

Many MJ haters have declared that his settlement was his admission. They always lament that no innocent man would give up and settle. And while many MJ supporters are quick to bring up J.C. Penney, the previous entity the Arvisos attempted to milk, there are many other non-MJ related cases when an innocent does the unthinkable and give up.

Kevin Fox was one such innocent.

First of all, I have to thank what(who)ever for waking me up at 3am to see this story. Sure, it was on ABC World News Now, a program that I loathe; however, the anchors, Vinita Nair and Jeremy Hubbard, didn't do the legwork, therefore the segment about Riley Fox was compelling and, dare I say, accurate. The segment, taken from Nightline, detailed the case of Riley Fox, a missing 3 year old, who was later found raped, bound, and drowned in a local creek.

The story detailed how the local police zeroed in on Riley's father, Kevin Fox, since there was no evidence of forced entry and the delay in contacting 911 about the little girl's disappearance. On that basis, the cops proceeded to interrogate Kevin, without legal counsel present, for 14 hours, showing him graphic pictures of his murdered child. After the relentless pressure, Kevin confessed; the local authorities told the FBI to not conduct DNA tests using Kevin's samples. So, the cops had their man and to them, their case was closed; however, Kevin's attorney, Kathleen Zellner took the initiative and had Kevin's samples tested independent of the authorities, an action that resulted in Kevin being excluded as a suspect in Riley's death. This happened in 2005.

Fast forward to 2010 - the local authorities received a tip regarding an incarcerated sex offender, Scott Eby. The local authorities paid Eby a prison visit, took a sample - 24 hours later, his DNA was determined to be a match to the DNA found on Riley, resulting in an immediate confession.

Noticably, many bloggers and TV anchors are asking how could an innocent person confess to a crime? And apparently, the local authorities now want to talk to Kevin Fox and ask him how that could happen, an action that should've happened as soon as he was released from jail. An action that could've begun the process of examining their local law enforcement interrogation techniques. But personally, I think that this pompous, grandiose attempt to 'get answers' is wholly unnecessary. I feel that this goes along with the concept that the greedy can't accurately gauge generosity. The cynical or pessimists of the world can't gauge innocence either. Especially if the innocent is perceived as being 'too' innocent. And sadly, the innocent can be naive enough to think that the helpers of the world can see them clearly. They really can't - their lens is cloudy.

Now, if a father can admit to raping, bounding, and drowning his little daughter just based on 14 hours of interrogation and implications that he would be repeatedly raped in prison if he didn't take the authorities' deal, shouldn't considerations be taken in MJ's 1993 case? After all, MJ was strip searched and photographed, interrogated by authorities who weren't above taking their case to the press via 'leaks' over a longer period of time. And while the settlement was designed to prevent the family from continuing to 'leak' things to the press, it didn't prevent them from participating in the investigations and litigation of the case; however, the evidence didn't yield anything that could result in a successful prosecution. Michael Jackson's financial status was pretty stable before the allegations when Evan Chandler tried to get money for his (cow)pie in the sky screenplays; Michael's financial status was as strong after the accusation, but he allowed his insurance company to cut the check. What was the difference between the initial inquiry and the payment from the insurance company?

PRESSURE!!!!!!!!!!!

And given that he wasn't just getting it from law enforcement, but from many different directions in the press, can anyone blame him for making the pressure stop?

And BTW... the FBI. Apparently, the FBI allowed the local authorities to dictate their level of involvement in the investigation in the Illinois case. Apparently, this was the case with the Santa Barbara investigation. Whereas the Illinois wanted the minimum amount of participation in the Fox investigation, a decision that was detrimental to the Fox family and the greater community, Santa Barbara wanted the FBI to hit MJ with all that they got. The result? No evidence of kiddie porn on MJ's numerous computers and the ruling out of numerous dubious witnesses who courted the press in the past with contradictory pantload stories.

So how can anyone congratulate the FBI on great detective work on the Fox case and yet, unilaterally dismiss their decidedly more thorough work in the MJ molestation case? Actually, this is directed specifically at Diane Dimond, the b*tch who accused the FBI of whitewashing the MJ investigations just because their findings didn't support the pantload she and her ilk spewed for nearly 20 years?

Needless to say, I hope that the Kevin Fox debacle is an isolated incident, but I truly doubt that it is. Hell, Hollywood is fond of purchasing film rights to stories like this, and yet, they sat on their hands as this particular drama befell Michael in 1993 and 2005. And they still remain pretty tight-lipped about this. Mind you, Kevin Fox didn't carry the baggage of being a Black, effeminate, enigmatic superstar who continually put fellow performers to shame, whether it was onstage, in development/brainstorming meeting, or giving away millions upon millions of dollars without blinking an eye.

Kevin Fox was just a young White father watching his kids while his wife was away. Just a citizen of a small town that easily believed the local law enforcement instead of looking at Kevin and his circumstances. It's easy to play armchair quarterback regarding how one would react to being falsely accused of a crime, especially when one thinks that they are living a life in which such questions or allegations would never be lodged.

I'm willing to bet that Kevin and his family thought the same thing - once upon a time.

Small potatas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again... I know that it is wrong for me to still be enjoying this, but the Klein/Pfeiffer c*ck-up is still amusing to me. Apparently, the threats continue, which isn't altogether funny. Personally, I hoped that it would've ended by now. But then again, Klein continue to fan the flames by engaging in an online sparring match with elderly Liz Taylor, so you have to wonder whether, deep down, he's getting off on the negative attention.

He probably was, but sadly, I think the charge he initially got is waning and fortunately, the FBI is helping to throw cold water on Klein. Apparently, they declined to get involved in the death threats being directed at Klein and his 'pal' Pfeiffer and referred them to the local authorities. That must've stung Klein - yet another federal agency telling him thanks, but no thanks. First, it was the FDA ever so subtly telling Klein to move along, since his input about prescription drugs and facial injectibles were not needed at all, and now, the FBI saying that his death threats case isn't all that serious.

Hee... hee...

Because dude thinks that he is an elite. That being a dermatologist to the stars should count for something, because, after all, Michael Jackson was the subject of a death threat and the FBI went to work. Of course, some haters would cite that the loon included President Bush Sr. in the threats, but the fact remains that some serious surveillance were conducted at Havenhurst. And frankly, it looks like Klein couldn't even get an escort to his car. And, then there was that terrorist threat at the 2005 trial. But maybe Klein can keep his fingers crossed that at his trial, the feds will have to intervene for the sake of public safety. Oh, wait... the possibility that the heavy tongued douchebag being locked up and all of his medical licenses pulled permanently could and should protect public safety.

Paraphrasing a line from Frasier, the FBI pricked the balloon of Klein's pomposity. I hope the trend continues.

But not the threats. There should be better ways to apply pressure on Klein and Pfeiffer for their flagrant attempt at disparaging the dead for a fee. Having them hire bodyguards could drain them financially, but stopping entertainment outlets from funding pantloads and various forms of lying should be the priority.

But for now, Klein and Pfeiffer being declared 'small potatas' by a federal agency on an international stage, will do.

Do we REALLY need doormen for bandwagons?

Thank you, NPR.

For some reason, doormen have been on my mind. Then I thought back on an NPR program that discussed the impending New York City doormen strike. An 'expert' was explaining why the residents of some of NYC's most elite hotels and apartments are shaking in their boots, stating that these men provide information, a sense of familiarity, and community to those who depend on them.

Which brings me to Betty White's recent triumph on Saturday Night Live. Naturally, there are those who need to be contrary about her appearance. (Un)fortunately, I came in contact with two morons who had to play devil's advocate. One was a local morning DJ on a country music station; the other was Access Hollywood's Billy Bush. Their consensus - the SNL writers used Betty White's age to counterpoint their risque dialogue.

A giant Marty Feldman eye roll on that one.

Obviously, these two got on the bandwagon a bit too prematurely. Because if they were paying attention pre-Screen Actors Guild speech, they would've known about the following Betty had due to her using her age, her candy-faced appearance, and gentle voice when tackling risque and touchy material. Clearly, none of these dudes knew about her recurrent appearances on Craig Ferguson, where she wasn't above pretending to be a drug mule. Or the Funny or Die video where she used very salty language when interacting with Ryan Reynolds on The Proposal set. Or when she was a murderess on Boston Legal. Or her recurrent role on Bold and the Beautiful as Stephanie Forrester's glacial, battleax mother.

And let's go back to The Golden Girls, shall we? Instead of watching the edited syndication versions of the show, why not rent the unedited original episodes on DVD. Golden Girls was my Saturday night viewing as a kid and I marvel at how many jokes and sexual references went over my head. And yes, some of the juicy stuff was uttered by Betty White.

And in case these douchebags missed The Golden Girls, they could go back to The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Yes, there were a variety of women on the show - prim working woman Mary; wisecracking working woman Rhoda; insecure homemaker Phyllis; innocent chronic girlfriend Georgette. But then came Sue Ann Nivens - steely, hotsy totsy working woman. With the other women, there was some rivalry (Phyllis and Rhoda), but there was a feeling of comradeship. Sue Ann, on the other hand, was disinterested in being 'one of the girls'. She was satisfied with being the alpha female and unapologetic when she was on the prowl. Maybe Sue Ann was jealous of Mary Richards, but she never languished in that feeling. If anything, Sue Ann played harder and more ruthlessly to compensate for Mary's sweetness. And she got as much as she gave, as proven by Murray picking Sue Ann up and sitting her in a multilayer cake.

So for people to accuse SNL of taking advantage of Betty White for cheap jokes... these losers need to get a life and preferably, some context. One of the reasons why people are rooting for Betty White is because she doesn't take herself too seriously. She takes the work seriously, but never herself. People are tired of being told that people like Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz, etc. are funny. People saw funny on Saturday. Betty's enthusiasm, professionalism, and dare I say, chemistry with her fellow cast members were some of the reasons why people loved her on SNL. And personally, my favorite skit was the Scared Straight skit, teaming her with Keenan Thompson. There was an undeniable chemistry between these two which almost overshadowed the WIZARD OF ASS bit.

I said ALMOST.

So in closing, people shouldn't jump on bandwagons just because it's the thing to do. Know what you're in for - Betty obviously did, hence her continuing to get gigs at 88. And please... stop making this woman into America's Grandma. I don't think she's a grandma in real life, so why should she shoulder the burden of other people's perceptions and expectations, especially the lazy-brained?

Lena Horne... gone

Saying that the world has gotten a little less pretty would be a tool bag thing to say. Something that a pedestrian observer would say who knew little about Lena Horne. Mind you, I am not an expert on all things Lena Horne - not by any stretch. However, I was fortunate enough to pay attention when programs like PBS's American Masters decided to delve beneath the glossy, arrestingly beautiful veneer, revealing a rather complex woman who, despite her beauty, which opened some doors, was wounded by the times she lived in and through. Unfortunately, these difficulties get a passing acknowledgment, but hopefully, if her life story makes it to the screen, she will get more of a due than she's getting now.



Of course, I will always remember her for Cabin In the Sky, Stormy Weather, and her appearance on Sanford and Son. And The Wiz too. But this commercial was probably Lena's last public appearance.

Hasselbeck versus Andrews: Smugness run amok

So Elisabeth popped off at the mouth about the skimpiness of Erin Andrews' costumes on Dancing with the Stars... as if skimpiness is a new thing for the show. And per usual, the fellow women on the panel just sat there and snickered, egging her on.

Really, Elisabeth? You really think that watching Erin in skimpy costumes would've been enough for dude? Really? Because the way I remember it, dude found out which hotel she was staying at, tampered with her hotel room peepholes, taped her, in the privacy of her hotel room, and put the images online.

No, Elisabeth... skimpy costumes were not going to get it for this dude. And for that matter, why does Elisabeth continue to take on the shallower aspect of a subject instead of getting to the marrow of things? Remember... Elisabeth was the victim of threats against herself, her husband and newborn child. Maybe Elisabeth should've tried to draw a correlation between that personal event and Erin's situation, especially since Erin is still going through a separate situation along the same lines. And remember when Elisabeth was mortified that Law & Order SVU had a storyline where a character with a name similar to Elisabeth, was brutally raped and murdered? She got coddled and stroked by her fellow co-hosts, and yet, she couldn't do the same for another woman?

Therein lies the problem with the majority of the panelists on The View. They think that they reached a certain level, therefore they can't be mindful of others' situations. They think that everything is a Hot Topic subject, instead of something that's tangible and pressing to real life women. Mind you, I haven't watched The View in years - probably since Star Jones got married - but that mindset was setting in even then.

I do wonder what the ladies' take was when Sandra Bullock adopted little Louis? Was that an act of love to them or was it 'buying a child', an accusation that they readily lodge against Angelina Jolie? And for that matter, why is adoption the only process tainted with the accusation that it's a purchase versus an act of love? Isn't spending large amounts of money to create a biological child buying a child? If anything, one could argue that not only one is purchasing a child, it is also an exercise in egotism, since one is saying that they can't love a child that they can't see themselves in. And yes... this is directed to Sherri Shepherd.

For me, Elisabeth and Sherri are the biggest culprits when it comes to devaluing other women's choices. And if Elisabeth gets a chunk chomped out of her @$$ for this Erin Andrews thing, so be it. And please, public, do not fall for the tears. Some women can cry themselves out of tight spots; Elisabeth Hasselbeck shouldn't be one of them. Hell... no woman should be able to do this. It's supposed to be a new day - women should act like it.

Now this is the jam!!!!!

Arnie Klein getting death threats? Ahhh... the poor boo-boo

As a 90s young adult, the Ricki Lake Show was my lunch. Very fun show, although Ricki seemed uncomfortable and wooden at times. But sometimes when things got a bit too heated, she would say, rather unconvincingly, 'Violence is not the answer.'

Violence is not the answer... usually in the tone of a thoroughly unprepared preschool teacher.

But for some reason, Ricki's refrain is echoing in my head because apparently, Dr. Arnie Klein, the self-proclaimed 'best friend' of Michael Jackson, is getting death threats after 'outing' Michael Jackson.

'Outing' Michael Jackson? Errrr... no, since people have been trying to say that Michael Jackson was gay since his teens. So, no... that's not the reason why he's getting threats.

Klein is getting threats because he continues to lie about Michael Jackson, using the guise that he's trying to clear the air about the molestation allegations. That was the reason for the pee story. That is the reason for this story. But Fcuktard, merely going to Reflections of the Dance and various other MJ vindication sites would've been a better idea. But no... saying Michael Jackson was gay was just easier? Profitable, more like.

So I am not entirely mad at MJ fans who are threatening Klein and Fat Boy Pfeiffer, because I totally understand it. For many years, disparaging the dead has been a taboo. But, of course, with anything associated with Michael, exceptions are made. Journalists taking root on their cronies' shows, spending hours rehashing the lies that made them money years ago; journalists throwing out every single rumor out there, muddying the waters in the weeks following his death; and the worst - journalists encouraging (read: begging) every possible egg or sperm donor and surrogate to come out and stake a claim on his children when actions like this are violations of the whole reproduction/surrogacy process? And Klein, MJ's dermatologist, continually violating not only HIPAA but MJ's privacy for little more than money and screen time, because, let's face it, Klein is not an oil painting and the snap! crackle! pop! that is audible whenever he speaks is disgusting to hear. SWALLOW ALREADY, DUDE!!!! So, no, Dr. Klein's dream of being another Dr. Oz or Sanjay Gupta, or Art Ulein , or to a lesser extent, Travis Stork, will be a dream unfulfilled. A good consolation prize - being the sultan of skeeve. And Chunky is along for the ride.

So will the death threats continue? Probably, but I hope they won't since it could lead to Klein winding up on Larry King or something. Mind you, since Larry King sort of banned him from the show, hence Klein taking his message to TMZ and to any other outlet willing to shell out some cash, maybe his next recourse is to take it to HLN. But then again, maybe they have more standards than previously thought.

Anyway, I hope that MJ fans chill on the threats, but not on the pressure. Extra, Pfeiffer, Alicia Jacobs and Klein need to know that this flagrant attempt at lying about a deceased person will not stand, especially when it doesn't add to anything of importance. And their pocket books, egos and careers qualify as same.

But here's a throwback to Klein's earlier days... you know, when he was successfully passing himself off as Michael Jackson's friend. Those days are long gone.

April is over... thank goodness!!!!!!!!!!!

So far, April has been the most exhausting, emotionally draining month of 2010. Of course, the year's still young, so who knows what pantload awaits.

In real life, something very sad and tragic hit a bit too close to home. One of my neighbors was murdered by her boyfriend. Fortunately, the cops apprehended him immediately, but unfortunately, this 42 year old 'man' murdered his 22 year old girlfriend because she had the audacity to dump his @$$ after he abused her one time too many. She did the right things and yet... she's gone. Completely not fair.

But before this bad thing happened, I was blissfully happy because I ordered It's All About L.O.V.E., a self-published book about fans' Michael Jackson encounters. I ordered it on Easter Sunday, and yet... I haven't finished reading it yet. Yes, it's nearly 400 pages long, but for some reason, I feel that I need to take my time reading this. So far, some of my favorite stories involved MJ's birthdays and his late night 'shows' and talks with fans outside of his hotel windows/balconies. These stories made me smile because I had similar, late night talks with people I vague knew in college and I still prize those unexpected intimate moments, especially with people with whom I seemingly had little in common with. I smile, thinking that Michael had those moments too.

Sandra Bullock scammed the whole Hollywood community by getting on with her life instead of milking her misfortune? Now, that was an April high point. And her little Louis is absolutely adorable!

Rieille Hunter on Oprah... didn't watch.

But I did watch Todd Bridges on Oprah and I have to say, Oprah should be ashamed of herself. Demanding that he read page 68? The page in which he described his molestation? Really, Oprah? Honestly, Oprah's insistence that any molestation talk has to be graphic makes me wonder about her.

Naomi Campbell was a victim of dubious gotcha journalism... and no one blinked an eye? Hate her all you want, but if someone refuses to answer a question that wasn't germane to the reason for the interview, then you stop the particular line of questioning.

Chelsea Handler had to defend her 'audition tape' which looked remarkably like the most depressing, demoralizing sex tape since Gene Simmons. No audition is worth positioning oneself in a way that makes your breasts look like really old cow udders.

Hasta Que El Dinero Nos Separe has been pretty good. Last week, Univision showed back to back episodes of HQEDNS featuring the aftermath of Marco finding out that Alejandra and (Rafael) Medina shared a hotel room. Thanks to Claudia, who I used to like but now thinks she a mega b*tch, Alejandra's professional reputation is taking a beating and she may distance herself from Medina because of her mistaken belief that he was the one who dished the works. I fell asleep towards the end of Friday's episode, but the last part I saw was when Medina witnessed Marco, with a Mariachi band in tow, serenading Alejandra and threw down the dozen of roses ,intended for Alejandra, down in disgust. Maybe Alejandra found them?

As for Arnie Klein's current media grab... I will wait to talk on this, since I get really emotional when @$$holes harm people who can't defend themselves.