Mason and Julia and Cruz and Eden tributes.
(no way in hell I would ignore SB's best couples)
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Santa Barbara 25 - Why no CC & Sophia tributes?
It's not like I hate them, or rather, hated them during Santa Barbara's run. In fact, I was totally on board when they were reunited after Sophia's long absence. But then a pattern emerged - CC would get too controlling towards Sophia and she would go out and sleep with someone else. CC would kick her out of the house... then talk her into coming back. Then, it would start all over again. Over and over.
Yes, soaps tend to allow their characters to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, but CC and Sophia were special cases. They were aware of the consequences of this pattern - hell, Sophia may have gotten pregnant twice by Lionel because she had to get back at CC - and yet, when they were, allegedly, older and wiser, they kept doing this to each other. This was stupid and mean-spirited, therefore I didn't want to include this in my tribute.
Plus, I have serious doubts that CC and Sophia ever truly loved each other. For CC, I think that this was about getting the seemingly unattainable. And Sophia wanted security, given that her acting career leveled off. And factoring Lionel Lockridge... again, I don't think he ever really wanted Sophia. Like CC, it was about getting the unattainable, but with the added bonus of giving CC a facial everytime he dug out CC's wife. Again, all of this was unnecessary, especially when you think of the fact that this happened while Sophia and Augusta were having their children. The added dimension of the children, again, spells utter selfishness on CC, Sophia and Lionel's part.
Meanwhile, Lionel is chasing Sophia while Augusta languished at home... are you kidding me? Not taking anything from Sophia but Augusta was way sexier and infinitely more fascinating. And while Augusta wasn't a perfect mother, she was a present mother, unlike Sophia, who was separated from her children as a consequence of the drama she created.
CC and Sophia were the only Santa Barbara couple whose reverence was affected by the passage of time. I can't stand contrived drama, whether it's at the hands of overly ambitious actresses, tabloid interns and editors, or chicks with princess complexes. Therefore, I can't find anything romantic or redeeming about CC and Sophia's tug of war.
Both of them should have let go of the rope.
Yes, soaps tend to allow their characters to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, but CC and Sophia were special cases. They were aware of the consequences of this pattern - hell, Sophia may have gotten pregnant twice by Lionel because she had to get back at CC - and yet, when they were, allegedly, older and wiser, they kept doing this to each other. This was stupid and mean-spirited, therefore I didn't want to include this in my tribute.
Plus, I have serious doubts that CC and Sophia ever truly loved each other. For CC, I think that this was about getting the seemingly unattainable. And Sophia wanted security, given that her acting career leveled off. And factoring Lionel Lockridge... again, I don't think he ever really wanted Sophia. Like CC, it was about getting the unattainable, but with the added bonus of giving CC a facial everytime he dug out CC's wife. Again, all of this was unnecessary, especially when you think of the fact that this happened while Sophia and Augusta were having their children. The added dimension of the children, again, spells utter selfishness on CC, Sophia and Lionel's part.
Meanwhile, Lionel is chasing Sophia while Augusta languished at home... are you kidding me? Not taking anything from Sophia but Augusta was way sexier and infinitely more fascinating. And while Augusta wasn't a perfect mother, she was a present mother, unlike Sophia, who was separated from her children as a consequence of the drama she created.
CC and Sophia were the only Santa Barbara couple whose reverence was affected by the passage of time. I can't stand contrived drama, whether it's at the hands of overly ambitious actresses, tabloid interns and editors, or chicks with princess complexes. Therefore, I can't find anything romantic or redeeming about CC and Sophia's tug of war.
Both of them should have let go of the rope.
Santa Barbara 25 - Mason and Mary
A rape brought them together.
Mary's sister, Christy, was brutally raped; Mason's brother, Ted, was accused of the crime. Mary left the convent to support Christy during this ordeal; Mason served as Ted's defense attorney. Despite being on opposite sides, there was an attraction that threatened to bubble over. Here's an example.
I'm pretty sure that this scene jumpstarted puberty for me. Best eyefcuk ever!!!
Eventually, Ted was vindicated and Mary ended up leaving the convent. She worked as a nurse for CC - I think he had another one of his strokes or something - and all of a sudden, Mason started coming to the house a little more often. I seem to recall that he was sleeping with Gina, or just stop sleeping with her, or he was caught sleeping with her, and CC spent a lot of time indoctrinating Mary with that fact. So Mary went back and forth about the possibility of Mason; meanwhile, Mason remained very intrigued and smitten by Mary.
Then, along the way, Mary committed the cardinal soap opera sin - marrying some dude that she didn't love in order to discourage/disappoint/hurt the real one. And per usual, Mary came to her senses, but not before getting raped by hubby Mark and getting pregnant. But before the $h*t hit the fan, she did get a marriage proposal out of Mason.
Of course, the C sign came down on her, but not before viewers had the chance to see Mason's softer side and the way he could really love a woman. It took a lot for Mason to reveal that side of himself and after he lost Mary, it took an even greater force to reignite that fire in him.
Mary's sister, Christy, was brutally raped; Mason's brother, Ted, was accused of the crime. Mary left the convent to support Christy during this ordeal; Mason served as Ted's defense attorney. Despite being on opposite sides, there was an attraction that threatened to bubble over. Here's an example.
I'm pretty sure that this scene jumpstarted puberty for me. Best eyefcuk ever!!!
Eventually, Ted was vindicated and Mary ended up leaving the convent. She worked as a nurse for CC - I think he had another one of his strokes or something - and all of a sudden, Mason started coming to the house a little more often. I seem to recall that he was sleeping with Gina, or just stop sleeping with her, or he was caught sleeping with her, and CC spent a lot of time indoctrinating Mary with that fact. So Mary went back and forth about the possibility of Mason; meanwhile, Mason remained very intrigued and smitten by Mary.
Then, along the way, Mary committed the cardinal soap opera sin - marrying some dude that she didn't love in order to discourage/disappoint/hurt the real one. And per usual, Mary came to her senses, but not before getting raped by hubby Mark and getting pregnant. But before the $h*t hit the fan, she did get a marriage proposal out of Mason.
Of course, the C sign came down on her, but not before viewers had the chance to see Mason's softer side and the way he could really love a woman. It took a lot for Mason to reveal that side of himself and after he lost Mary, it took an even greater force to reignite that fire in him.
Santa Barbara 25 - The dark moments pt 2
More female degradation and distress.
Lately when female characters are raped on daytime television, the majority of them are bad girls in desperate need of a whitewash. However, in Eden's case, she was recently married and thoroughly happy, except for some conception problems and a deranged fan. Cruz was called out of the house for police business and Eden was left alone. This brief clip is of Cruz returning home after Eden's attack. I couldn't bear to post the actual crime.
Fast forward a few months... after carrying a child that both Cruz and Eden feared was fathered by her rapist, Eden, with Cruz's help delivered Adriana. A paternity test determined that Cruz was Adriana's father. But despite Cruz having the Santa Barbara police department guard Eden and Adriana, Adriana was abducted by Eden's rapist.
This scene occurred during SB's last years. I gotta say... if this dialogue was derived from actual pedophile-speak... ick!!! This Frank dude was one fcuked up muthafcuka!!!
Lately when female characters are raped on daytime television, the majority of them are bad girls in desperate need of a whitewash. However, in Eden's case, she was recently married and thoroughly happy, except for some conception problems and a deranged fan. Cruz was called out of the house for police business and Eden was left alone. This brief clip is of Cruz returning home after Eden's attack. I couldn't bear to post the actual crime.
Fast forward a few months... after carrying a child that both Cruz and Eden feared was fathered by her rapist, Eden, with Cruz's help delivered Adriana. A paternity test determined that Cruz was Adriana's father. But despite Cruz having the Santa Barbara police department guard Eden and Adriana, Adriana was abducted by Eden's rapist.
This scene occurred during SB's last years. I gotta say... if this dialogue was derived from actual pedophile-speak... ick!!! This Frank dude was one fcuked up muthafcuka!!!
Santa Barbara 25 - The funny pt 2
These next round of clips feature our old pal, Lane Davies. When I was younger, I remember thinking that Mason was too hard to understand. The way he would say things and that vocabulary...
But fortunately, I was going through puberty and experiencing junior and senior high school, and while many of the things he said flew over my head, in my teenager way, I was beginning to understand what Mason was really saying and doing.
So the following clips feature Davies, along with Nancy Lee Grahn as Julia, the only woman who could match Mason, barb by barb.
Here is a brief montage of Mason and Julia post-Samantha conception. Those two so belonged together.
This was during Mason/Sonny Sprocket multiple personality storyline. The back and forth between Mason and Jed Allan's CC was pretty refreshing and funny.
And finally, a clip featuring Mason and Julia before their wedding. Again, a lot of barbs were flying between the two of them, but this was Nancy Lee Grahn's turn to shine, with an assist from Marcy Walker's Eden.
But fortunately, I was going through puberty and experiencing junior and senior high school, and while many of the things he said flew over my head, in my teenager way, I was beginning to understand what Mason was really saying and doing.
So the following clips feature Davies, along with Nancy Lee Grahn as Julia, the only woman who could match Mason, barb by barb.
Here is a brief montage of Mason and Julia post-Samantha conception. Those two so belonged together.
This was during Mason/Sonny Sprocket multiple personality storyline. The back and forth between Mason and Jed Allan's CC was pretty refreshing and funny.
And finally, a clip featuring Mason and Julia before their wedding. Again, a lot of barbs were flying between the two of them, but this was Nancy Lee Grahn's turn to shine, with an assist from Marcy Walker's Eden.
Santa Barbara 25 - Keith and Gina
For the first few years of Santa Barbara, Lionel and Augusta were the go-to couple when it came witty repartee, love-hate passion, and even playful sex. Eventually, the powers that be decided to outsource those indelible qualities to other burgeoning couples. The responsibilities for conveying playful sex, along with the scheming and conniving were given to Keith and Gina, as portrayed by Justin Deas and Robin Mattson.
Gina was on a hamster wheel, in terms of marrying CC to insure that her adoption of Brandon remained intact... and she was hoping that he would stroke out so she could get a cut of the Capwell fortune. But a loveless and sexless marriage can get boring, so when skeevy Keith Timmons blew into town, it was inevitable that he would find temporary occupancy between Gina's thighs... although Missionary doesn't seem to be Keith and Gina's speed - too fcuking lame!!!
Fun was what the Timmons were about and sadly, the fun was fleeting. Nevertheless, let's enjoy Keith and Gina.
Gina was on a hamster wheel, in terms of marrying CC to insure that her adoption of Brandon remained intact... and she was hoping that he would stroke out so she could get a cut of the Capwell fortune. But a loveless and sexless marriage can get boring, so when skeevy Keith Timmons blew into town, it was inevitable that he would find temporary occupancy between Gina's thighs... although Missionary doesn't seem to be Keith and Gina's speed - too fcuking lame!!!
Fun was what the Timmons were about and sadly, the fun was fleeting. Nevertheless, let's enjoy Keith and Gina.
Santa Barbara 25 - The weddings
The following are my all-time favorite Santa Barbara weddings.
In addition, I also think that these were the best weddings Santa Barbara ever staged.
First off - Mason and Julia
The witty, playful banter belied the traumatic previous year they experienced. In addition, these two are cynics at heart, so over the top, flowery vows would not work for them. Besides, some of the things that come out of Mason's mouth on an everyday basis sounded like poetry anyway.
Next - Keith and Gina
Like Mason and Julia's wedding, Keith and Gina's wedding matched their personalities. Gina's son, Brandon, had to beg the guests to attend, given that both Gina and Keith were the town pariahs. Again, this was another example of Gina's bizarre need to get validation from the people she hated. Nevertheless, this wedding was fun and touching.
And finally - Cruz and Eden
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
I wish that Eden's descent down the ornate staircase was a part of the footage, but I don't want to quibble. At 14, I thought that this wedding was the gold standard of weddings - then I went a step too far and thought that this would be my standard for my wedding. Mercifully, I grew up and recognized that a wedding can be a bear and that an over the top wedding wasn't worth it. But for Cruz and Eden, anything less would have been an abomination. The thing that I will take from this wedding is the vows. Both Cruz and Eden demonstrated how well they knew each other and how they treasure each others' gifts, personalities and ambitions. The level of intimacy that these two character share continues to be my yardstick.
In addition, I also think that these were the best weddings Santa Barbara ever staged.
First off - Mason and Julia
The witty, playful banter belied the traumatic previous year they experienced. In addition, these two are cynics at heart, so over the top, flowery vows would not work for them. Besides, some of the things that come out of Mason's mouth on an everyday basis sounded like poetry anyway.
Next - Keith and Gina
Like Mason and Julia's wedding, Keith and Gina's wedding matched their personalities. Gina's son, Brandon, had to beg the guests to attend, given that both Gina and Keith were the town pariahs. Again, this was another example of Gina's bizarre need to get validation from the people she hated. Nevertheless, this wedding was fun and touching.
And finally - Cruz and Eden
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
I wish that Eden's descent down the ornate staircase was a part of the footage, but I don't want to quibble. At 14, I thought that this wedding was the gold standard of weddings - then I went a step too far and thought that this would be my standard for my wedding. Mercifully, I grew up and recognized that a wedding can be a bear and that an over the top wedding wasn't worth it. But for Cruz and Eden, anything less would have been an abomination. The thing that I will take from this wedding is the vows. Both Cruz and Eden demonstrated how well they knew each other and how they treasure each others' gifts, personalities and ambitions. The level of intimacy that these two character share continues to be my yardstick.
Santa Barbara 25 - The premiere episode
A bit cheesy, but why not post the episode at the exact time it aired 25 years ago.
I have to confess - I missed the premiere episode and only just saw it last weekend. My excuse - I was 10 years old and my mom had to take all of us kids to the clinic.
For what - I honestly can't remember - maybe a yearly dental exam?
Anyway, I was upset that I missed the episode and NO, we couldn't have recorded it. Back in 1984, VCRs cost, like, $400 and our family was broke.
At any rate, here is the premiere episode of Santa Barbara.
I have to confess - I missed the premiere episode and only just saw it last weekend. My excuse - I was 10 years old and my mom had to take all of us kids to the clinic.
For what - I honestly can't remember - maybe a yearly dental exam?
Anyway, I was upset that I missed the episode and NO, we couldn't have recorded it. Back in 1984, VCRs cost, like, $400 and our family was broke.
At any rate, here is the premiere episode of Santa Barbara.
Santa Barbara 25 - The funny pt 1
One of Santa Barbara's signatures was the humor. And for many years, the casting directors had an infallible eye when it comes to selecting versatile actors with a comedic flair. The following are some clips featuring some of SB's best comedic performances... readily available on You Tube.
This is from an awards show, featuring Justin Deas as the very pervy and very game Keith Timmons.
Here's another clip featuring Justin Deas as Keith Timmons - this time, he crashes CC Capwell's funeral - needless to say, he ends up disturbing some people.
And finally, another clip featuring Justin Deas, Robin Mattson and Jed Allan, bickering and being all kinds of b*tchy to each other.
This is from an awards show, featuring Justin Deas as the very pervy and very game Keith Timmons.
Here's another clip featuring Justin Deas as Keith Timmons - this time, he crashes CC Capwell's funeral - needless to say, he ends up disturbing some people.
And finally, another clip featuring Justin Deas, Robin Mattson and Jed Allan, bickering and being all kinds of b*tchy to each other.
Santa Barbara 25 - The dark moments pt 1
I have to apologize.
The vast majority of these clips involve women being victimized in some way - nevertheless, I am being honest when I say that some of these moments were among the most disturbing moments on SB.
This was probably the first SB moment that got to me. Peter Flint, Kelly's ex-fiance was tweaking like a muthafcuka after losing Kelly. His solution? Becoming a serial rapist and murderer, targeting blonde women. Sadly, Gina's younger sister, Summer was one of his victims. A very innocent girl who believed the wrong person.
This clip was pretty disturbing, especially since the storyline involve my Ted. Christy Duvall was this poor girl who craved Ted; unfortunately, he only had eyes for Laken. When he reiterated that fact to Christy, she clawed his face. Enter Steve, Christy's creepy-assed stepbrother who took ombrage to Christy chasing after Ted. Words were exchanged and Steve beats the hell out of her and raped her. Given that Ted's skin was underneath Christy's nails and Steve... district attorney Steve, was present when the cops questioned her, he intimidated Christy into fingering Ted. Throughout the storyline, Steve threatened Christy routinely. A very intense storyline with Tricia Cast (aka Nina from Y & R) as Christy.
The Eleonor/Elena storyline. This was probably my favorite potboiler. Apparently, Elena was the illegitimate child of CC's, and decided to bump off the Capwell kids. When she got a load of Cruz, Project Eliminate Eden kicked into gear. This was just creepy because Elena was so cold about disposing of Eden's presumed dead body.
Now this moment was allegedly parodied on Family Guy, but when this happened, it certainly wasn't a laughing matter to Mason and Mary fans. In a nutshell - Mary was a nun; then she left the convent and became a nurse; Mason gave chase; the two had a falling out; she married Mark; upon realizing her mistake, she told Mark that they needed to breakup; Mark raped Mary; Mary ended up pregnant; Mary and Mason reconciled; Mary filed charges against Mark but the case was particularly nasty one; Mark, Julia and Mary winds up on the Capwell building rooftop; and Mary is fell by the giant C. A particularly harsh ending to such a lovely and innocent character.
The vast majority of these clips involve women being victimized in some way - nevertheless, I am being honest when I say that some of these moments were among the most disturbing moments on SB.
This was probably the first SB moment that got to me. Peter Flint, Kelly's ex-fiance was tweaking like a muthafcuka after losing Kelly. His solution? Becoming a serial rapist and murderer, targeting blonde women. Sadly, Gina's younger sister, Summer was one of his victims. A very innocent girl who believed the wrong person.
This clip was pretty disturbing, especially since the storyline involve my Ted. Christy Duvall was this poor girl who craved Ted; unfortunately, he only had eyes for Laken. When he reiterated that fact to Christy, she clawed his face. Enter Steve, Christy's creepy-assed stepbrother who took ombrage to Christy chasing after Ted. Words were exchanged and Steve beats the hell out of her and raped her. Given that Ted's skin was underneath Christy's nails and Steve... district attorney Steve, was present when the cops questioned her, he intimidated Christy into fingering Ted. Throughout the storyline, Steve threatened Christy routinely. A very intense storyline with Tricia Cast (aka Nina from Y & R) as Christy.
The Eleonor/Elena storyline. This was probably my favorite potboiler. Apparently, Elena was the illegitimate child of CC's, and decided to bump off the Capwell kids. When she got a load of Cruz, Project Eliminate Eden kicked into gear. This was just creepy because Elena was so cold about disposing of Eden's presumed dead body.
Now this moment was allegedly parodied on Family Guy, but when this happened, it certainly wasn't a laughing matter to Mason and Mary fans. In a nutshell - Mary was a nun; then she left the convent and became a nurse; Mason gave chase; the two had a falling out; she married Mark; upon realizing her mistake, she told Mark that they needed to breakup; Mark raped Mary; Mary ended up pregnant; Mary and Mason reconciled; Mary filed charges against Mark but the case was particularly nasty one; Mark, Julia and Mary winds up on the Capwell building rooftop; and Mary is fell by the giant C. A particularly harsh ending to such a lovely and innocent character.
Santa Barbara 25 - Gina
One of reasons why I loved Santa Barbara was because it was probably the first soap opera that allowed me, as a viewer, to make my own decisions about the characters. Too often, soap writers stop short of making a character wear all black and twirl oily mustaches to convey evil nogoodness.
Santa Barbara had its share of evil to the core characters; but in my mind, Gina Demott Capwell Timmons was not one of them. Sure, in Linda Gibboney's hands, Gina can across as whiny and a bit frenzied, but at Gina's core, she was a mother caught up in Capwell bull$h*t that, for once, she wasn't a party to. CC decided that it was best to give Channing and Santana's son, Brandon, to the Demotts - then the tool had the nerve to expect that Gina would give Brandon back. Sorry, son... of a b*tch, but there are no takesy backsys when it comes to this particular adoption. This particular clip was probably the beginning of when I was on Gina's side. An early example of how bitchy and entitled Eden could be, she spilled the beans about Brandon's paternity to a stunned Gina. This was absolutely unnecessary, but this confrontation was the beginning of Gina's sometimes just war against various members of the Capwell family.
Gibboney's Gina was all kinds of shady; however, when Robin Mattson stepped into the role, she took Gina to another level altogether. This clip was my all-time favorite Gina moment. The Capwells decided to kick Gina out of the house - actually, they were really high hat about it, considering how some of them were just as shady as Gina. This clip is in Russian, I think, but you get what is happening.
Along with the balls, Robin Mattson brought humor into the character of Gina. Gina was a very wounded person, deep down, because of the Capwell machinations and yet, she desperately campaigned for their respect and even love. It was a bizarre fixation she had, but Mattson made it somewhat understandable. Here's another video illustrating Gina's desperation when it comes to getting something she thinks she wants.
Because, frankly, CC wasn't worth it.
Santa Barbara had its share of evil to the core characters; but in my mind, Gina Demott Capwell Timmons was not one of them. Sure, in Linda Gibboney's hands, Gina can across as whiny and a bit frenzied, but at Gina's core, she was a mother caught up in Capwell bull$h*t that, for once, she wasn't a party to. CC decided that it was best to give Channing and Santana's son, Brandon, to the Demotts - then the tool had the nerve to expect that Gina would give Brandon back. Sorry, son... of a b*tch, but there are no takesy backsys when it comes to this particular adoption. This particular clip was probably the beginning of when I was on Gina's side. An early example of how bitchy and entitled Eden could be, she spilled the beans about Brandon's paternity to a stunned Gina. This was absolutely unnecessary, but this confrontation was the beginning of Gina's sometimes just war against various members of the Capwell family.
Gibboney's Gina was all kinds of shady; however, when Robin Mattson stepped into the role, she took Gina to another level altogether. This clip was my all-time favorite Gina moment. The Capwells decided to kick Gina out of the house - actually, they were really high hat about it, considering how some of them were just as shady as Gina. This clip is in Russian, I think, but you get what is happening.
Along with the balls, Robin Mattson brought humor into the character of Gina. Gina was a very wounded person, deep down, because of the Capwell machinations and yet, she desperately campaigned for their respect and even love. It was a bizarre fixation she had, but Mattson made it somewhat understandable. Here's another video illustrating Gina's desperation when it comes to getting something she thinks she wants.
Because, frankly, CC wasn't worth it.
Mason - the black sheep (or is he?)
Did I mention that Lane Davies' Mason was the balls?
This character had chemistry with nearly every character on the Santa Barbara landscape. But some of the best scenes involved Mason with his half-siblings - Eden, Kelly and Ted.
Eden was the one who called out Mason when he was really wallowing in his black sheep status. And yet, there was a keener and more intimate understanding between the two.
Kelly and Mason's relationship was that of Mason being overprotective and controlling - Kelly often challenged his perceived control over her.
And finally, probably my favorite relationship - Mason and Ted. They were in the same boat - CC's sons, post golden boy Channing's death. Both had a lot of expectations thrust upon them, but despite that, there is a friendship between these two. And some humor.
This character had chemistry with nearly every character on the Santa Barbara landscape. But some of the best scenes involved Mason with his half-siblings - Eden, Kelly and Ted.
Eden was the one who called out Mason when he was really wallowing in his black sheep status. And yet, there was a keener and more intimate understanding between the two.
Kelly and Mason's relationship was that of Mason being overprotective and controlling - Kelly often challenged his perceived control over her.
And finally, probably my favorite relationship - Mason and Ted. They were in the same boat - CC's sons, post golden boy Channing's death. Both had a lot of expectations thrust upon them, but despite that, there is a friendship between these two. And some humor.
Santa Barbara 25 - Mason
In families where there is at least parent that is a tyrant, there will always be one offspring that will test the tyrant's perception of himself and his beliefs. CC was the tyrant; Mason was that child.
A child from a previous marriage, Mason was deemed the black sheep because he didn't sprang from Sophia's loins. Always placed on a pedestal, Sophia's progeny were always treated with more reverence and love than Mason. Keenly intelligent, perceptive and sardonically witty, Mason felt apart from the family versus being a part of the family. He played things close to the vest until the moment he could obliterate his target... assuming that the target wasn't CC.
There many battles between CC and Mason - most of which stemmed from CC's glaring favoritism towards his long-dead namesake, Channing II. Then Mason took it to the junk by bedding CC's wife, Gina. Nevermind that CC's only reason for marrying Gina was to gain an advantage for getting Brandon back, Mason pulling a Lionel Lockridge and making CC a cuckold was the moment that their feud reached another level. But like Gina, Mason craved CC's attention, love and acceptance - something his other siblings never really had to fight for.
Here is a clip showing Mason being pulled in two directions by his parents.
Lane Davies portrayed Mason with a broody, aristocratic air, which made him the definitive face of Santa Barbara.
There will be more posts about Mason - I guarantee that.
A child from a previous marriage, Mason was deemed the black sheep because he didn't sprang from Sophia's loins. Always placed on a pedestal, Sophia's progeny were always treated with more reverence and love than Mason. Keenly intelligent, perceptive and sardonically witty, Mason felt apart from the family versus being a part of the family. He played things close to the vest until the moment he could obliterate his target... assuming that the target wasn't CC.
There many battles between CC and Mason - most of which stemmed from CC's glaring favoritism towards his long-dead namesake, Channing II. Then Mason took it to the junk by bedding CC's wife, Gina. Nevermind that CC's only reason for marrying Gina was to gain an advantage for getting Brandon back, Mason pulling a Lionel Lockridge and making CC a cuckold was the moment that their feud reached another level. But like Gina, Mason craved CC's attention, love and acceptance - something his other siblings never really had to fight for.
Here is a clip showing Mason being pulled in two directions by his parents.
Lane Davies portrayed Mason with a broody, aristocratic air, which made him the definitive face of Santa Barbara.
There will be more posts about Mason - I guarantee that.
Santa Barbara 25 - Kelly
While Kelly was deserving of multiple threads, there are a lack of stand out Kelly clips.
Robin Wright's Kelly was the supposed ingenue, although her intelligence, determination, and grit upped fans' expectations. Tragedy seemed to follow Kelly and with the exception of a brief stint in a mental institution, Kelly pressed on, with a recognition that the bad times can and should be put behind. There was never a whiff of a pity party on her.
Robin Wright may have been responsible for my patience for soap blondes. Invariably, soap blondes like Brooke, Amber, Belle, Jessica, Babe, and dozens of others find themselves in trickbags of their own making and usually, dudes have to swoop in and get them out of it. This, supposedly, is the process intended to convince the audience that these characters were worthy of viewers' attention and affection - for me, it wasn't.
Kelly never looked for trouble - she always sought peace and happiness. It didn't happen easily, but when it did, it was all too fleeting. But Kelly survived and not in a Scarlett O'Hara self-aggrandizing way. She just survived, period.
Here are some clips during the first year of Santa Barbara, where she was front and center for the majority of the show's drama and romance. The first year centered on Joe Perkins' release from prison and his quest to prove his innocence and win back Kelly's love. Guided by loyalty and family, Kelly didn't make Joe's quest easy.
Robin Wright's departure was a blow to the show and eventually, Carrington Garland recaptured some of the quintessential Kelly qualities that fans enjoyed, but the brief reprieve didn't last long. The casting directors shifted their priorities, resulting in the disasterous casting of veteran soap actress Eileen Davidson. Too haughty, harsh and hardened, Kelly ceased to be Kelly - Kelly was just Ashley Abbott living with the Capwells. They should've stuck with finding talented, relative unknowns.
Robin Wright's Kelly was the supposed ingenue, although her intelligence, determination, and grit upped fans' expectations. Tragedy seemed to follow Kelly and with the exception of a brief stint in a mental institution, Kelly pressed on, with a recognition that the bad times can and should be put behind. There was never a whiff of a pity party on her.
Robin Wright may have been responsible for my patience for soap blondes. Invariably, soap blondes like Brooke, Amber, Belle, Jessica, Babe, and dozens of others find themselves in trickbags of their own making and usually, dudes have to swoop in and get them out of it. This, supposedly, is the process intended to convince the audience that these characters were worthy of viewers' attention and affection - for me, it wasn't.
Kelly never looked for trouble - she always sought peace and happiness. It didn't happen easily, but when it did, it was all too fleeting. But Kelly survived and not in a Scarlett O'Hara self-aggrandizing way. She just survived, period.
Here are some clips during the first year of Santa Barbara, where she was front and center for the majority of the show's drama and romance. The first year centered on Joe Perkins' release from prison and his quest to prove his innocence and win back Kelly's love. Guided by loyalty and family, Kelly didn't make Joe's quest easy.
Robin Wright's departure was a blow to the show and eventually, Carrington Garland recaptured some of the quintessential Kelly qualities that fans enjoyed, but the brief reprieve didn't last long. The casting directors shifted their priorities, resulting in the disasterous casting of veteran soap actress Eileen Davidson. Too haughty, harsh and hardened, Kelly ceased to be Kelly - Kelly was just Ashley Abbott living with the Capwells. They should've stuck with finding talented, relative unknowns.
Santa Barbara 25 - Ted
In Santa Barbara's early days, there was an attempt to have a young set. This group of teenagers/college-aged kids were the offspring of the 4 core families of the show - Perkins, Andrade, Lockridge and Capwell. Jade Perkins wanted Ted Capwell; Danny Andrade wanted Jade Perkins; Ted Capwell wanted Laken Lockridge; and Warren Lockridge wanted an adrenaline rush. Although Melissa Brennan's (Reeves) had her moments, the only real stand out of the SB pack was Ted, as portrayed by Todd McKee.
Ted was absolutely lovely. Actually, I think that he was my first crossover crush. Tall, lanky, brown hair/eyes, and just a sweetheart. The youngest Capwell sibling, the majority of his screen time was devoted to 'finding' himself. Working odd jobs and trying not to live off of his trust funds, Ted was a nice contrast to the other SB males. Warren was too brash and took many unnecessary chances; Mason brooded over his black sheep status within the family; Lionel was a devil-may-care flake; and CC was a snarling tyrant.
Ted was sensible, to a degree, and sensitive, which was why girls like Jade Perkins and Christy Duvall gravitated towards him. Actually, Jade seemed to be after his money and status, and Christy, while interested in that too, was seeking some validation and feelings of worthiness. Unfortunately, he was often paired with women who weren't exactly live wires. Both Laken and Hayley played into the Montague/Capulet dynamic that SB writers wheeled out for Ted, but when he had the chance to kick things up a notch with women like Jane/Roxanne, the writers seem to abandon the storyline. Ted needed a live wire. In later years, Ted was paired up with Lily, Gina's daughter, but by then, he was a recast who wasn't a live wire, and the pairing was a means for Lily to protect herself from loving Rafe, Cruz's half brother.
So here are some clips from McKee's Ted, which captured some of the reasons why I loved him so much. In the following clip, Ted is reunited with Sophia, the mother he thought he lost when he was a toddler. He was absolutely lovely in this scene.
Anytime anyone is paired with Lane Davies, they have to step up their game; Todd McKee was no exception. The Mason/Ted relationship was probably one of my favorites. Black sheep Mason, despite all of his bluster, really did adore his kid brother. In the following scene, Ted thinks that handling his problems like Mason, would offer himself some clarity - it didn't - but a brotherly talk with Mason did.
Ted was absolutely lovely. Actually, I think that he was my first crossover crush. Tall, lanky, brown hair/eyes, and just a sweetheart. The youngest Capwell sibling, the majority of his screen time was devoted to 'finding' himself. Working odd jobs and trying not to live off of his trust funds, Ted was a nice contrast to the other SB males. Warren was too brash and took many unnecessary chances; Mason brooded over his black sheep status within the family; Lionel was a devil-may-care flake; and CC was a snarling tyrant.
Ted was sensible, to a degree, and sensitive, which was why girls like Jade Perkins and Christy Duvall gravitated towards him. Actually, Jade seemed to be after his money and status, and Christy, while interested in that too, was seeking some validation and feelings of worthiness. Unfortunately, he was often paired with women who weren't exactly live wires. Both Laken and Hayley played into the Montague/Capulet dynamic that SB writers wheeled out for Ted, but when he had the chance to kick things up a notch with women like Jane/Roxanne, the writers seem to abandon the storyline. Ted needed a live wire. In later years, Ted was paired up with Lily, Gina's daughter, but by then, he was a recast who wasn't a live wire, and the pairing was a means for Lily to protect herself from loving Rafe, Cruz's half brother.
So here are some clips from McKee's Ted, which captured some of the reasons why I loved him so much. In the following clip, Ted is reunited with Sophia, the mother he thought he lost when he was a toddler. He was absolutely lovely in this scene.
Anytime anyone is paired with Lane Davies, they have to step up their game; Todd McKee was no exception. The Mason/Ted relationship was probably one of my favorites. Black sheep Mason, despite all of his bluster, really did adore his kid brother. In the following scene, Ted thinks that handling his problems like Mason, would offer himself some clarity - it didn't - but a brotherly talk with Mason did.
Santa Barbara 25 - The Lockridges
Sadly, there aren't many Lockridge-themed videos on You Tube - probably, the consequence of SB practically phasing out the whole family.
At any rate, a tribute to Santa Barbara would be incomplete without acknowledging Lionel and Augusta Lockridge. The slightly less rich counterparts to the Capwells, the Lockridges provided much of the laughs during Santa Barbara's early years. Nicholas Coster's Lionel, the adventurer/part-time archeologist/part-time film producer, was a big-hearted man who had a wandering pecker. Louise Sorel's Augusta was a desperate housewife who received regular pruning from hulking gardeners/groundskeepers while Lionel was on his expeditions/escapades. But whenever he came home, Lionel and Augusta would tussle and trade barbs... usually in the comfort of a bed and on certain occasions, a champagne-filled bathtub.
Lionel and Augusta were the first truly passionate couple; unfortunately, the passion would bubble over, resulting in Lionel fleeing to the waiting arms of women like Sophia Capwell, and Augusta would seethe and rant at the newly minted betrayal. But eventually, they would find themselves tussling and trading barbs... in bed YET again. Here is an example of their tumultuous relationship:
Their children, Laken and Warren, unfortunately, only seemed to exist for the purpose of complicating the Capwells' lives - Laken was Ted's love interest and Warren was his friend/rival. They probably had more substantial storylines, but for the life of me, I can't remember any one of them, except for the years when Jack Wagner took over the Warren part.
However, while Laken and Warren didn't make a sustaining impression on me, Dame Judith Anderson's Minx, certainly did. The matriarch of the Lockridge family, she tried to keep things, and her family, in order, with the full recognition that this task would be an uphill battle. She knew were the bodies were buried, but in this clip, she didn't want to rely on the passage of time or CC's propensity for strokes to see CC prone. Here's a clip of CC getting a little too smug for his own good and Minx gave him a bit of a comeuppance.
At any rate, a tribute to Santa Barbara would be incomplete without acknowledging Lionel and Augusta Lockridge. The slightly less rich counterparts to the Capwells, the Lockridges provided much of the laughs during Santa Barbara's early years. Nicholas Coster's Lionel, the adventurer/part-time archeologist/part-time film producer, was a big-hearted man who had a wandering pecker. Louise Sorel's Augusta was a desperate housewife who received regular pruning from hulking gardeners/groundskeepers while Lionel was on his expeditions/escapades. But whenever he came home, Lionel and Augusta would tussle and trade barbs... usually in the comfort of a bed and on certain occasions, a champagne-filled bathtub.
Lionel and Augusta were the first truly passionate couple; unfortunately, the passion would bubble over, resulting in Lionel fleeing to the waiting arms of women like Sophia Capwell, and Augusta would seethe and rant at the newly minted betrayal. But eventually, they would find themselves tussling and trading barbs... in bed YET again. Here is an example of their tumultuous relationship:
Their children, Laken and Warren, unfortunately, only seemed to exist for the purpose of complicating the Capwells' lives - Laken was Ted's love interest and Warren was his friend/rival. They probably had more substantial storylines, but for the life of me, I can't remember any one of them, except for the years when Jack Wagner took over the Warren part.
However, while Laken and Warren didn't make a sustaining impression on me, Dame Judith Anderson's Minx, certainly did. The matriarch of the Lockridge family, she tried to keep things, and her family, in order, with the full recognition that this task would be an uphill battle. She knew were the bodies were buried, but in this clip, she didn't want to rely on the passage of time or CC's propensity for strokes to see CC prone. Here's a clip of CC getting a little too smug for his own good and Minx gave him a bit of a comeuppance.
Santa Barbara 25 - The tribute
To be honest, I am a procrastinator.
I knew about the Santa Barbara anniversary for months, and yet, last Friday was the day I decided to peruse You Tube for quintessential Santa Barbara moments. And while I had a lot of fun reliving memorable moments from this show, I fear that I was trying too hard to sell people on this show, when it should be about reminiscing. In addition, You Tube doesn't have every single hour of this show, therefore it is impossible to chronicle the show accurately. However, I remain thankful that both American and international fans had the wherewithall to save their tapes and upload them for desperate fans, like myself, to see.
So again, my ensuing posts will not be about chronicling the whole history of the show. They will focus on my favorite moments and characters... that were readily available on You Tube. I will do my best to find clips that weren't dubbed over in another language, since I tend to avoid dubbed films in real life. Dubbing compromises performance and the intentions of the writers, directors, and actors.
So let the fun begin...
Here are some clips from the mid 80s that summarized a particular year in Santa Barbara:
And here is Brad Sanders aka Cla'ence, doing a special Cla'ence Update about the happening in Santa Barbara. I think that he was still doing the Cla'ence Update for All My Children or he had made his move to Young and the Restless.
I knew about the Santa Barbara anniversary for months, and yet, last Friday was the day I decided to peruse You Tube for quintessential Santa Barbara moments. And while I had a lot of fun reliving memorable moments from this show, I fear that I was trying too hard to sell people on this show, when it should be about reminiscing. In addition, You Tube doesn't have every single hour of this show, therefore it is impossible to chronicle the show accurately. However, I remain thankful that both American and international fans had the wherewithall to save their tapes and upload them for desperate fans, like myself, to see.
So again, my ensuing posts will not be about chronicling the whole history of the show. They will focus on my favorite moments and characters... that were readily available on You Tube. I will do my best to find clips that weren't dubbed over in another language, since I tend to avoid dubbed films in real life. Dubbing compromises performance and the intentions of the writers, directors, and actors.
So let the fun begin...
Here are some clips from the mid 80s that summarized a particular year in Santa Barbara:
And here is Brad Sanders aka Cla'ence, doing a special Cla'ence Update about the happening in Santa Barbara. I think that he was still doing the Cla'ence Update for All My Children or he had made his move to Young and the Restless.
Happy 25th anniversary, Santa Barbara - THE GREATEST FCUKING SOAP OPERA OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many other soap operas have lasted longer.
Some soap operas can boast about having the same creative force in charge for decades.
Some soap operas are consistent award winners.
But for me, Santa Barbara was one of the most entertaining and compelling creations that network television ever broadcast. Yes, it was unfortunate that networks powers that be were impatient about the ratings, hence the subsequent cancellation of Another World and the feeble attempts at replacing two proven fan favorites with cheap substitutes like Sunset Beach and Passions, but for those who loved Santa Barbara, the impression that the show made will not be forgotten.
Santa Barbara boasted fabulous writing, in terms of socially conscious storylines, along with character-driven humor that still holds up, despite today's acceptance of cheap, easy jokes and the erosion of wit and repartee. But the most impressive thing about Santa Barbara was the casting. Unlike current casting practices, i.e. raiding reality shows, modeling catelogs and 'celebrity' sex tapes, the cast of Santa Barbara bolstered talent from stage, film, television, and in some instances, from other soaps. Veterans like Dame Judith Anderson were paired in scenes with fresh faced unknowns like Todd McKee and Robin Wright, and d@mn if the newbies didn't rise to the occasion.
Here is the premiere episode of Santa Barbara. While some of the actors were later recast (in the case of Santana, that recast happened pretty d@mn quick... yeesh!!), you get an idea of what was to come. Please note the magnificent Lane Davies as Mason; Dame Judith Anderson as Minx Lockridge (you may remember from films like Laura, Rebecca, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof and dozens of other films), and Robin Wright, before she became a Penn.
An episode that illustrated the promise that was to come.
Some soap operas can boast about having the same creative force in charge for decades.
Some soap operas are consistent award winners.
But for me, Santa Barbara was one of the most entertaining and compelling creations that network television ever broadcast. Yes, it was unfortunate that networks powers that be were impatient about the ratings, hence the subsequent cancellation of Another World and the feeble attempts at replacing two proven fan favorites with cheap substitutes like Sunset Beach and Passions, but for those who loved Santa Barbara, the impression that the show made will not be forgotten.
Santa Barbara boasted fabulous writing, in terms of socially conscious storylines, along with character-driven humor that still holds up, despite today's acceptance of cheap, easy jokes and the erosion of wit and repartee. But the most impressive thing about Santa Barbara was the casting. Unlike current casting practices, i.e. raiding reality shows, modeling catelogs and 'celebrity' sex tapes, the cast of Santa Barbara bolstered talent from stage, film, television, and in some instances, from other soaps. Veterans like Dame Judith Anderson were paired in scenes with fresh faced unknowns like Todd McKee and Robin Wright, and d@mn if the newbies didn't rise to the occasion.
Here is the premiere episode of Santa Barbara. While some of the actors were later recast (in the case of Santana, that recast happened pretty d@mn quick... yeesh!!), you get an idea of what was to come. Please note the magnificent Lane Davies as Mason; Dame Judith Anderson as Minx Lockridge (you may remember from films like Laura, Rebecca, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof and dozens of other films), and Robin Wright, before she became a Penn.
An episode that illustrated the promise that was to come.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Regarding the soaps...
Admittedly, I haven't posted anything substantial about Young and the Restless and Bold and the Beautiful lately. Quite frankly, the Jackson family saga has been my soap lately, and try as I might, I can't shake the sensation of watching any coverage about it.
I have watched Y & R and B & B over the last few weeks, and while some things were worth discussing, like Adam being on the downlow, Lily's cancer, Phillip's return, hot Chance's return to the scene, Ridge and Taylor's 'reconciliation', and Steffy's recent 'confrontation' of Brooke, none of them compelled me to post about them immediately.
However... the idea of Hot Chance (aka Hot Coop from Guiding Light) being a virgin and okay with it... why the hell do I want to climb him? And Chloe seems to share that inclination too. I like those two together, although I hope that she's really into Chance versus trying to get a rise out of Billy. Fcuk Billy!!! And Mac, for that matter. Chloe is adorable and scrappy. Plus the actress who portrays her won me over during her run as Maggie on All My Children.
As for Phillip... I kinda don't blame Chance for not wanting to deal with him. Although Chance doesn't know about his father's homosexuality, it still seems like a lame reason to fake one's death. Being gay in the late 80s wasn't pleasant, sure, but man up and take care of your kid, even if it was via a joint custody arrangement. Plus, the dude doesn't seem sorry, at all - why force your own kid (in terms of biology, not love) see that?
Poor Lily... and since this is Y & R, the fallout from the removal of her reproductive organs will be realistic and brutal. Fingers crossed that Dru will come back for Lily.
Adam is a d*ck... end paragraph.
Mary Jane is a loon. And I don't care if she ends up being Patty, plucking out those doll eyes and hanging onto them is all kinds of creepy.
And Sharon telling Jack that she is carrying his child for Nick's sake is all kinds of selfish and cruel. I haven't watched the show in years but Jack has never really had the chance to be the father to any of his children from birth. It's mean and unnecessary - Sharon should just clue Jack in on what's really going on.
And Amber actually giving in to Deacon... WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????
That old scenerio is pretty d@mn tired. Some dude blackmailing a woman, usually a blonde, into bed. Amber is too old to do something like this. Seriously...
As for Bold and the Beautiful...
Steffy had hellavua nerve confronting Brooke about staying away from Ridge. When Ridge and Taylor begged her to stop seeing Rick, she stopped... then started doing him again. How many times did Ridge and Taylor begged her? How many times did Steffy go back on her word? Granted, Brooke is 40ish and should stop chasing after wishy-washy douchebag Ridge, but Steffy interfering in this, especially when her actions with Rick contributed to the strain in Ridge and Brooke's marriage. And Brooke was the one who took up for her. Brooke shouldn't have because the relationship was wrong on so many levels, but she did it, and she deserve some credit from Steffy.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor... why are you so determined to settle for very little? End paragraph.
I have watched Y & R and B & B over the last few weeks, and while some things were worth discussing, like Adam being on the downlow, Lily's cancer, Phillip's return, hot Chance's return to the scene, Ridge and Taylor's 'reconciliation', and Steffy's recent 'confrontation' of Brooke, none of them compelled me to post about them immediately.
However... the idea of Hot Chance (aka Hot Coop from Guiding Light) being a virgin and okay with it... why the hell do I want to climb him? And Chloe seems to share that inclination too. I like those two together, although I hope that she's really into Chance versus trying to get a rise out of Billy. Fcuk Billy!!! And Mac, for that matter. Chloe is adorable and scrappy. Plus the actress who portrays her won me over during her run as Maggie on All My Children.
As for Phillip... I kinda don't blame Chance for not wanting to deal with him. Although Chance doesn't know about his father's homosexuality, it still seems like a lame reason to fake one's death. Being gay in the late 80s wasn't pleasant, sure, but man up and take care of your kid, even if it was via a joint custody arrangement. Plus, the dude doesn't seem sorry, at all - why force your own kid (in terms of biology, not love) see that?
Poor Lily... and since this is Y & R, the fallout from the removal of her reproductive organs will be realistic and brutal. Fingers crossed that Dru will come back for Lily.
Adam is a d*ck... end paragraph.
Mary Jane is a loon. And I don't care if she ends up being Patty, plucking out those doll eyes and hanging onto them is all kinds of creepy.
And Sharon telling Jack that she is carrying his child for Nick's sake is all kinds of selfish and cruel. I haven't watched the show in years but Jack has never really had the chance to be the father to any of his children from birth. It's mean and unnecessary - Sharon should just clue Jack in on what's really going on.
And Amber actually giving in to Deacon... WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????
That old scenerio is pretty d@mn tired. Some dude blackmailing a woman, usually a blonde, into bed. Amber is too old to do something like this. Seriously...
As for Bold and the Beautiful...
Steffy had hellavua nerve confronting Brooke about staying away from Ridge. When Ridge and Taylor begged her to stop seeing Rick, she stopped... then started doing him again. How many times did Ridge and Taylor begged her? How many times did Steffy go back on her word? Granted, Brooke is 40ish and should stop chasing after wishy-washy douchebag Ridge, but Steffy interfering in this, especially when her actions with Rick contributed to the strain in Ridge and Brooke's marriage. And Brooke was the one who took up for her. Brooke shouldn't have because the relationship was wrong on so many levels, but she did it, and she deserve some credit from Steffy.
Taylor, Taylor, Taylor... why are you so determined to settle for very little? End paragraph.
Some quick hits...
Per usual, I listened to the movie summaries, per my local adult contemporary morning radio show. Strangely, they summarized The Ugly Truth, an R-rated comedy and G-Force, but didn't mention Orphan. This observation is two-fold so bear with me. So evidently, the powers that be aren't too frazzled by R-rated Ugly Truth, but R-rated The Hangover needed to be censored? The same with Orphan - another film that can tactfully be described in less graphic terms and the radio station decided instead to avoid it altogether? You see... this cr@p is ridiculous. If you're going to censor talk about R-rated movies, do it all across the board; if not, give all R-rated films, including the ones geared toward men, equal time. Stop treating female listeners like imbecilic Nellys.
Enough Taylor Swift!!! Not that I'm saying that she's overexposed, although she is getting there, but the songs that are getting the most airplay are the ones most insulting to the intelligence. Romeo and Juliet and being the nerdy, safe girl the Hot Guy can't see for the trees? Come on!! Yes, Taylor is a teen and she is gearing music to that demographic, but unfortunately, grown-@$$ed women seem to empathize too d@mn much with Pollyanna/whiny girl b*ll$hit!!! And plus, Taylor is ethereal, in terms of her looks - like I would believe that some guy friend hadn't given her the once-over (the most benign, legal version of the eyefcuk). Besides, if this girl isn't getting any play in real life, it's because she channels her clowns into her music; who wants to be immortalized in that way?
Segueing into Kelly Pickler... The Best Times of Your Life or whatever it's called... okay, I get that she's another young woman who, possibly, had her heart stomped on, but seriously... does the thought of some cheating $h*t pining for you is supposed to make you feel better? That tableau is supposed to be empowering? Sorry, but that bull$h*t only flies for those princesses who eat, sleep and drink tabloid bull$h*t. Instead of having Taylor Swift standing behind you and giving the camera the stinkeye, why not have Nod Di Da Di aka Kim Serafin nod her head, back and forth... side to side... for emphasis, of the lame-@$$ed kind. Some dude made you eat a dirt sandwich... fcuk him and fcuk you for milking it for one moment too long.
Enough Taylor Swift!!! Not that I'm saying that she's overexposed, although she is getting there, but the songs that are getting the most airplay are the ones most insulting to the intelligence. Romeo and Juliet and being the nerdy, safe girl the Hot Guy can't see for the trees? Come on!! Yes, Taylor is a teen and she is gearing music to that demographic, but unfortunately, grown-@$$ed women seem to empathize too d@mn much with Pollyanna/whiny girl b*ll$hit!!! And plus, Taylor is ethereal, in terms of her looks - like I would believe that some guy friend hadn't given her the once-over (the most benign, legal version of the eyefcuk). Besides, if this girl isn't getting any play in real life, it's because she channels her clowns into her music; who wants to be immortalized in that way?
Segueing into Kelly Pickler... The Best Times of Your Life or whatever it's called... okay, I get that she's another young woman who, possibly, had her heart stomped on, but seriously... does the thought of some cheating $h*t pining for you is supposed to make you feel better? That tableau is supposed to be empowering? Sorry, but that bull$h*t only flies for those princesses who eat, sleep and drink tabloid bull$h*t. Instead of having Taylor Swift standing behind you and giving the camera the stinkeye, why not have Nod Di Da Di aka Kim Serafin nod her head, back and forth... side to side... for emphasis, of the lame-@$$ed kind. Some dude made you eat a dirt sandwich... fcuk him and fcuk you for milking it for one moment too long.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Some MJ to meditate on
I am still seriously cheesed off at the Jackson brothers who are trying to profit from Michael's death.
However, the one good thing that came from the Jackson brothers' continued guilt trip towards Michael during their adult years was this track from the Victory album.
I listened to Be Not Always infinite numbers of times when I was little. This song always took me to a more peaceful place.
Here's a MJ tribute video using this song to great effect. If anyone else needs this, please enjoy it.
However, the one good thing that came from the Jackson brothers' continued guilt trip towards Michael during their adult years was this track from the Victory album.
I listened to Be Not Always infinite numbers of times when I was little. This song always took me to a more peaceful place.
Here's a MJ tribute video using this song to great effect. If anyone else needs this, please enjoy it.
One thing's for sure... Joe Jackson ain't butter...
... because that 80 year old fool is incapable of making anything better.
So on Monday, I posted that I would try to avoid all things Jackson. And I had every intention on following through on that.
But I had to log off of Blogger. I had to walk into my bedroom. I had to look at my television set which was on CNN. And Joe Jackson had to be on Larry King Live, doing his level best to make himself look worse, although it wasn't his intention.
This man has no clue how he comes across. But the thing that stuck out, besides that Leonard Rowe, who came across as so shadetree that Bernie Madoff would thank him for being a diversion, was that Joe Jackson claimed that he met with Michael a few weeks before his death.
The subject of the meeting? Michael's money for the This Is It tour.
Not an intervention for Michael's drug abuse.
It was about MONEY.
This flies in the face of Joe's assertion that if he could get to Michael physically, he would've done anything to stop Michael from destroying himself with drugs.
But it was all about Michael getting paid in pounds, not dollars.
Joe Jackson's greed and self-interest is not a laughing matter. If anything, this dude's behavior continues to fill in the blanks regarding MJ's neuroses. However, there were some laughs to be had, thanks to Tom Joyner and J. Anthony Brown. Although I still contend that Joe Jackson looks like Hooch, Tom and J., rather astutely, pointed out his resemblance to Boris Badenov from the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons.
Judge for yourself.
So on Monday, I posted that I would try to avoid all things Jackson. And I had every intention on following through on that.
But I had to log off of Blogger. I had to walk into my bedroom. I had to look at my television set which was on CNN. And Joe Jackson had to be on Larry King Live, doing his level best to make himself look worse, although it wasn't his intention.
This man has no clue how he comes across. But the thing that stuck out, besides that Leonard Rowe, who came across as so shadetree that Bernie Madoff would thank him for being a diversion, was that Joe Jackson claimed that he met with Michael a few weeks before his death.
The subject of the meeting? Michael's money for the This Is It tour.
Not an intervention for Michael's drug abuse.
It was about MONEY.
This flies in the face of Joe's assertion that if he could get to Michael physically, he would've done anything to stop Michael from destroying himself with drugs.
But it was all about Michael getting paid in pounds, not dollars.
Joe Jackson's greed and self-interest is not a laughing matter. If anything, this dude's behavior continues to fill in the blanks regarding MJ's neuroses. However, there were some laughs to be had, thanks to Tom Joyner and J. Anthony Brown. Although I still contend that Joe Jackson looks like Hooch, Tom and J., rather astutely, pointed out his resemblance to Boris Badenov from the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons.
Judge for yourself.
Brandi Cibrian... commence to clowning!!!
For the last four years, princesses have raged about the fact that Brad Pitt escorted Jennifer Aniston to her birthday party in Feb. 2005 and months later, Brad was with Angelina, seemingly for keeps. Of course, they glossed over the part about how both Brad and Jennifer made a break from each other almost immediately after they arrived at that party; the part when Aniston filed for divorce in March 2005 and was photographed kissing Vince Vaughn; and that they were separated before in 2003, for six months, while Brad shot Troy and Aniston only visited him when the production moved from Malta to Mexico.
Of course, Brandi and Eddie Cibrian weren't the Golden Couple. It would be safe to say that, except for their family, children, and friends, no one would give too much of a damn if they had the separations that Brad and Aniston had. But now, plenty of people, including myself, give a damn about the latest development; after Brandi took up for her man after his cheating scandal broke, which included some warm and fuzzy photo ops, Eddie, the pecker, was busted, yet again, with Leann Rimes.
Sigh...
Brandi, via US Weekly, decided to call it a day. US Weekly, where she called out Leann as a stalker harassing her husband and reaffirming her commitment to fixing her marriage. Because she was so gung-ho about covering Eddie's @$$, this will cost him HUGE!!! And frankly, I hope she clowns worse than fcuking Krusty!!! Naturally, she has to be careful, since she has children to raise, but mothers shouldn't be exempt from clowning. Hell, betrayed wives and mothers make for the most extraordinary public $h*tfits. I should know -- my mom's clowning after my dad cheated is still talked about in certain circles. However, I hope that Brandi will not be like my mother who made a meal out of the betrayal that lasted 18 years. Say your piece, honey, and get the hell on with your life.
Don't ration out the rage for PR gain.
And princesses... a word in your ear. Just because Leann Rimes is a downgrade, which feeds your fantasies that you could possibly 'steal' Eddie for yourselves, don't diminish what Eddie Cibrian has done. You all b*tch and moan because Angelina is an upgrade... oops... I mean because you all hated the way that Brad went about his breakup. He moved out of the house; he avoided being photographed with Aniston in situations that could've been misinterpreted; and he avoided being out in public with Angelina until after his separation. What the fcuk more did you all want him to do?
Of course, Brandi and Eddie Cibrian weren't the Golden Couple. It would be safe to say that, except for their family, children, and friends, no one would give too much of a damn if they had the separations that Brad and Aniston had. But now, plenty of people, including myself, give a damn about the latest development; after Brandi took up for her man after his cheating scandal broke, which included some warm and fuzzy photo ops, Eddie, the pecker, was busted, yet again, with Leann Rimes.
Sigh...
Brandi, via US Weekly, decided to call it a day. US Weekly, where she called out Leann as a stalker harassing her husband and reaffirming her commitment to fixing her marriage. Because she was so gung-ho about covering Eddie's @$$, this will cost him HUGE!!! And frankly, I hope she clowns worse than fcuking Krusty!!! Naturally, she has to be careful, since she has children to raise, but mothers shouldn't be exempt from clowning. Hell, betrayed wives and mothers make for the most extraordinary public $h*tfits. I should know -- my mom's clowning after my dad cheated is still talked about in certain circles. However, I hope that Brandi will not be like my mother who made a meal out of the betrayal that lasted 18 years. Say your piece, honey, and get the hell on with your life.
Don't ration out the rage for PR gain.
And princesses... a word in your ear. Just because Leann Rimes is a downgrade, which feeds your fantasies that you could possibly 'steal' Eddie for yourselves, don't diminish what Eddie Cibrian has done. You all b*tch and moan because Angelina is an upgrade... oops... I mean because you all hated the way that Brad went about his breakup. He moved out of the house; he avoided being photographed with Aniston in situations that could've been misinterpreted; and he avoided being out in public with Angelina until after his separation. What the fcuk more did you all want him to do?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Chris Brown apologizes... and?!!!
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I think that the Chris Brown-Rihanna situation was hijacked by loud-mouthed, sanctimonious, opportunistic entertainment pundits who have no genuine investment in the resolution of this issue. In addition, I said that neither Chris Brown or Rihanna aren't beholden to anyone when it comes to discussing what happened on that February night. Nevertheless, Chris Brown took it upon himself to make a YouTube video apologizing for his behavior. Did he have to do that? I say no, but since he did, I have some observations about it.
From the clips I saw, he was trying to be sincere, but I couldn't help thinking 'Why now?' Again, Brown wasn't obligated to address this publicly; in fact, due to his court case, he was bound to refrain from speaking on the matter for several months. Of course, he could've spent those months getting intensive therapy on his own, but then again, it would've implied that he was guilty of something, which he eventually admitted -- hence the plea. So back to the question 'Why now?'
For me, it's all about Michael Jackson. I think that his being banned from performing at the recent MJ tributes and possibly from upcoming tributes, probably shook him up. A little. But maybe the full scope of the tragedy of MJ's death hit him. MJ kept putting himself in situations which eventually resulted in him not being able to do the thing he loved most - performing. And he couldn't even do it in his home country. And if performing was his only means of communicating or connecting to others, then the last years of his life must have been isolating, depressing, and empty.
I have no idea how Chris Brown sees his performances, but if it's so integrated into his self-worth and there's a possibility that he couldn't do it anymore at the level that he wants, he is probably very scared. He should be scared. MJ had talent that went on for days... hell, centuries, and even that fact didn't allow him access to the American stage.
Chris Brown really needs to be scared.
From the clips I saw, he was trying to be sincere, but I couldn't help thinking 'Why now?' Again, Brown wasn't obligated to address this publicly; in fact, due to his court case, he was bound to refrain from speaking on the matter for several months. Of course, he could've spent those months getting intensive therapy on his own, but then again, it would've implied that he was guilty of something, which he eventually admitted -- hence the plea. So back to the question 'Why now?'
For me, it's all about Michael Jackson. I think that his being banned from performing at the recent MJ tributes and possibly from upcoming tributes, probably shook him up. A little. But maybe the full scope of the tragedy of MJ's death hit him. MJ kept putting himself in situations which eventually resulted in him not being able to do the thing he loved most - performing. And he couldn't even do it in his home country. And if performing was his only means of communicating or connecting to others, then the last years of his life must have been isolating, depressing, and empty.
I have no idea how Chris Brown sees his performances, but if it's so integrated into his self-worth and there's a possibility that he couldn't do it anymore at the level that he wants, he is probably very scared. He should be scared. MJ had talent that went on for days... hell, centuries, and even that fact didn't allow him access to the American stage.
Chris Brown really needs to be scared.
Getting back to normal... I hope!!
There will be no doubt that the Jackson drama will continue to bring the annoying, but I'm going to do my damnedest to avoid any of the new developments. As far as I'm concerned, Michael's death was the result of drug abuse. His opportunistic family may try to create drama, but what happened happened and their intervention now is all about getting money and spotlight that they were incapable of getting before his death.
Hopefully, this blog will return to it's usual content: soap opera discussion, tabloid/entertainment bull$h*t, and movie discussions.
Of course, something else within the Jackson could come up and BAMM!!! I'm back to the Jackson bashing. My hope is that we are reaching the end of this cr@p but it's really doubtful.
Fingers crossed, though.
Hopefully, this blog will return to it's usual content: soap opera discussion, tabloid/entertainment bull$h*t, and movie discussions.
Of course, something else within the Jackson could come up and BAMM!!! I'm back to the Jackson bashing. My hope is that we are reaching the end of this cr@p but it's really doubtful.
Fingers crossed, though.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
A fun post, for a change
One of my weekly internet routines is to visit Jezebel.com on Wednesday to read the comments for their weekly tabloid threads (Jezebel has an amazingly witty bunch of regulars there). Lately, I've avoided going there on Wednesdays because the tabloids have been so demoralizing that I take my frustration and irritation to work with me the following day. So I'm trying out Saturday. But before I could find the tabloid thread, I came across a thread about Entertainment Weekly's list of the 25 best romantic movies of the last 25 years - actually, it was a thread designed to piss off The Notebook fans even further (apparently, it didn't make the cut).
I love lists like this although I am rarely happy with their compilations. I was happy to see that Moonstruck, Jerry Maguire, Edward Scissorhands, and Amelie on the list, but some of the others... There's Something About Mary? Ghost? Pretty Woman? Make no mistake, I loved There's Something About Mary and I liked how Ted was revealed to be the right man for Mary, but the movie wasn't romantic to me, save for that reveal. It was funny as fcuk, which is more than any of today's recent romantic comedies can say, but come on. And Ghost and Pretty Woman... these two movies are the reasons why I won't see The Notebook. In recent years, I found that movies that my fellow females love are the ones that I can't stand. I blame shows like Friends and Ally McBeal for desensitizing them and thoroughly trying my patience to such an extent that I can't trust female-driven television shows or films. For me, romance is not about some guy engaging in blood-letting/self-mutilation in order to prove his worthiness to a self-absorbed, cowardly, fuss pot of a woman. Romance is about being in the moment and recognizing that seemingly small gestures could mean everything to the one loving or being loved.
So I decided to have a little fun and post my list of the 5 most romantic movies of the last 25 years. And I have to say, it was remarkably easy, plus clips of these films were readily available on YouTube.
In no particular order:
Love and Basketball (2000)
Written and directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood
This has to be my favorite because it caught me completely off-guard. I was attending a film festival at my alma mater and strangers kept coming up to me saying that Love and Basketball was a must-see. Even the festival director told me that I had to see this. One of the rare times that I listened to female strangers singing the praises of a movie and damn if they weren't right. I don't care for sports; I don't care for sports movies, but Love and Basketball knocked it out of the park. Monica and Q, both passionate basketball players, have to navigate through their professional ambitions and their personal hangups in order to get what they really want out of life. Rarely are two lead characters equals, and in my opinion, current HW fare could serve themselves well if they used this film as a romantic template.
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Written by Christopher Hampton; directed by Stephen Frears
For me, this movie will always serve as a cautionary tale about writing off a movie too soon. I saw this in the movie theater at age 14; I was mortified by John Malkovich's behavior. Actually, it was more like thoroughly grossed out. What a difference three years made. When we graduated from high school, my sister and I pooled our gift money together and bought a VCR together and we decided to rent Dangerous Liaisons and damn, it was good!!! Being a little more fully cooked can do wonders to any moviegoer. And 20 years after it's initial release, it's still one of the sexiest, romantic movies I've ever seen. I rented it again, just after enjoying Malkovich in last year's Burn After Reading. Malkovich has a knack for playing pricky characters, but unlike Osborne Cox, his Valmont was a petulant, spoiled, unrepentant cocksman, game for deflowering convent virgins and well-bred proper women. A TOTAL PANCAKE FRYER!!!
When Valmont decided to seduce the pious Madame Tourvel, played beautifully by Michelle Pfeiffer, it was one of the most delicious battle of wills ever. However, the scene when Valmont thought he was moving in for the kill, Madame Tourvel, unbeknownst to her, doomed him. He saw her vulnerability and internal conflict, but for the first time, he felt the gravity of being responsible for someone else's well-being. So he unhooked her confining clothes (which was pretty damn sexy), summoned a maid, and left Madame Tourvel's quarters. And like any sensible woman, Madame Tourvel ran like hell. Sadly, her escape didn't last long and both were felled by Valmont's vanity and colossal ego.
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Written by Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard; directed by John Madden
What can I say? Some of the most playfully romantic scenes in film. Reminded me of Santa Barbara's golden years.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Written by Hui-Ling Wang, James Schamus and Kuo Jung Tsai; directed by Ang Lee
Sure, this film boast some of the best fight sequences ever, and yes, the struggle between young lovers, Jen and Lo, were compelling but Michelle Yeoh's Yu Shu-lien and Chow Yun Fat's Li Mu-bai stole the movie. Honor served them well while fulfilling their warrior duties, but they both ended up devastated when their mutual love for each other was confessed far too late. Lesson? There must be a balance between impetuous, unapologetic passion and duty and responsibility.
Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Written and directed by Giuseppe Tornatore
Although there is an unrequited storyline between Toto and Elena, the real love story was between Toto and Alfredo. A fatherless child, Toto found a loving substitute in Alfredo, the projectionist at a local movie theater. A love of film and an uncompromising loyalty bonded these two unlikely friends and the finale is a major tearjerker. However, if you must see Cinema Paradiso, avoid the director's cut; the additional material involving Elena doesn't add anything to the overall story. In fact, it felt all kinds of wrong.
I love lists like this although I am rarely happy with their compilations. I was happy to see that Moonstruck, Jerry Maguire, Edward Scissorhands, and Amelie on the list, but some of the others... There's Something About Mary? Ghost? Pretty Woman? Make no mistake, I loved There's Something About Mary and I liked how Ted was revealed to be the right man for Mary, but the movie wasn't romantic to me, save for that reveal. It was funny as fcuk, which is more than any of today's recent romantic comedies can say, but come on. And Ghost and Pretty Woman... these two movies are the reasons why I won't see The Notebook. In recent years, I found that movies that my fellow females love are the ones that I can't stand. I blame shows like Friends and Ally McBeal for desensitizing them and thoroughly trying my patience to such an extent that I can't trust female-driven television shows or films. For me, romance is not about some guy engaging in blood-letting/self-mutilation in order to prove his worthiness to a self-absorbed, cowardly, fuss pot of a woman. Romance is about being in the moment and recognizing that seemingly small gestures could mean everything to the one loving or being loved.
So I decided to have a little fun and post my list of the 5 most romantic movies of the last 25 years. And I have to say, it was remarkably easy, plus clips of these films were readily available on YouTube.
In no particular order:
Love and Basketball (2000)
Written and directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood
This has to be my favorite because it caught me completely off-guard. I was attending a film festival at my alma mater and strangers kept coming up to me saying that Love and Basketball was a must-see. Even the festival director told me that I had to see this. One of the rare times that I listened to female strangers singing the praises of a movie and damn if they weren't right. I don't care for sports; I don't care for sports movies, but Love and Basketball knocked it out of the park. Monica and Q, both passionate basketball players, have to navigate through their professional ambitions and their personal hangups in order to get what they really want out of life. Rarely are two lead characters equals, and in my opinion, current HW fare could serve themselves well if they used this film as a romantic template.
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Written by Christopher Hampton; directed by Stephen Frears
For me, this movie will always serve as a cautionary tale about writing off a movie too soon. I saw this in the movie theater at age 14; I was mortified by John Malkovich's behavior. Actually, it was more like thoroughly grossed out. What a difference three years made. When we graduated from high school, my sister and I pooled our gift money together and bought a VCR together and we decided to rent Dangerous Liaisons and damn, it was good!!! Being a little more fully cooked can do wonders to any moviegoer. And 20 years after it's initial release, it's still one of the sexiest, romantic movies I've ever seen. I rented it again, just after enjoying Malkovich in last year's Burn After Reading. Malkovich has a knack for playing pricky characters, but unlike Osborne Cox, his Valmont was a petulant, spoiled, unrepentant cocksman, game for deflowering convent virgins and well-bred proper women. A TOTAL PANCAKE FRYER!!!
When Valmont decided to seduce the pious Madame Tourvel, played beautifully by Michelle Pfeiffer, it was one of the most delicious battle of wills ever. However, the scene when Valmont thought he was moving in for the kill, Madame Tourvel, unbeknownst to her, doomed him. He saw her vulnerability and internal conflict, but for the first time, he felt the gravity of being responsible for someone else's well-being. So he unhooked her confining clothes (which was pretty damn sexy), summoned a maid, and left Madame Tourvel's quarters. And like any sensible woman, Madame Tourvel ran like hell. Sadly, her escape didn't last long and both were felled by Valmont's vanity and colossal ego.
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Written by Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard; directed by John Madden
What can I say? Some of the most playfully romantic scenes in film. Reminded me of Santa Barbara's golden years.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Written by Hui-Ling Wang, James Schamus and Kuo Jung Tsai; directed by Ang Lee
Sure, this film boast some of the best fight sequences ever, and yes, the struggle between young lovers, Jen and Lo, were compelling but Michelle Yeoh's Yu Shu-lien and Chow Yun Fat's Li Mu-bai stole the movie. Honor served them well while fulfilling their warrior duties, but they both ended up devastated when their mutual love for each other was confessed far too late. Lesson? There must be a balance between impetuous, unapologetic passion and duty and responsibility.
Cinema Paradiso (1988)
Written and directed by Giuseppe Tornatore
Although there is an unrequited storyline between Toto and Elena, the real love story was between Toto and Alfredo. A fatherless child, Toto found a loving substitute in Alfredo, the projectionist at a local movie theater. A love of film and an uncompromising loyalty bonded these two unlikely friends and the finale is a major tearjerker. However, if you must see Cinema Paradiso, avoid the director's cut; the additional material involving Elena doesn't add anything to the overall story. In fact, it felt all kinds of wrong.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
A horrifying thought
After catching Larry King's bit about a potential Joe Jackson movie/documentary/reality show (gag!gag!gag!), I decided that it was time for me to return season two of Martin to the video store.
As I was unlocking my car door and thinking about the love songs I would hear on the Nite Lite/Quiet Storm, a mortifying thought popped into my head: what if Jermaine Jackson decides to pull a Natalie Cole and make Michael Jackson's signature songs into duets with him?
HOW JUMPING FCUKING CATFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope the fcuk that the people responsible for MJ's catalog will put the kibosh on that. It's bad enough that a rumor circulated about Ashlee Simpson wanting to do an MJ tribute album. Why hasn't H.O.P.E (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) risen again, since clearly, the outpouring of sympathy and the ravenous desire to embrace all things MJ (during his prime) signal that there is a desperate base longing for legitimate talent and artistry.
But back to Jermaine... I implore those who are in charge of MJ's catalog to NOT bow down to the Jackson machine, which will eventually try to rely on sentimentality, much like Natalie Cole did in the 90s. Like Natalie Cole, Jermaine lacks the vocal ability to complement the originator of signature songs. I can't tell you how irritating it is to think that you will hear Nat King Cole sing Unforgettable, but instead hearing Natalie Cole croaking in, disrupting the smooth that is Nat King Cole. If, somewhere down the line, I hear the annoying Jermaine nasal during Rock With You, I swear, I will run amok!!!
As I was unlocking my car door and thinking about the love songs I would hear on the Nite Lite/Quiet Storm, a mortifying thought popped into my head: what if Jermaine Jackson decides to pull a Natalie Cole and make Michael Jackson's signature songs into duets with him?
HOW JUMPING FCUKING CATFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope the fcuk that the people responsible for MJ's catalog will put the kibosh on that. It's bad enough that a rumor circulated about Ashlee Simpson wanting to do an MJ tribute album. Why hasn't H.O.P.E (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) risen again, since clearly, the outpouring of sympathy and the ravenous desire to embrace all things MJ (during his prime) signal that there is a desperate base longing for legitimate talent and artistry.
But back to Jermaine... I implore those who are in charge of MJ's catalog to NOT bow down to the Jackson machine, which will eventually try to rely on sentimentality, much like Natalie Cole did in the 90s. Like Natalie Cole, Jermaine lacks the vocal ability to complement the originator of signature songs. I can't tell you how irritating it is to think that you will hear Nat King Cole sing Unforgettable, but instead hearing Natalie Cole croaking in, disrupting the smooth that is Nat King Cole. If, somewhere down the line, I hear the annoying Jermaine nasal during Rock With You, I swear, I will run amok!!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
This Wednesday is raining more bull$h*t than usual!!!
But first... that Jackson special on ABC last night... so revealing! Clearly, Joe Jackson is happy that Michael's gone, just so he can have the opportunity to take, what he feels, is his rightful place in the spotlight. Much like Jermaine, Joe clearly felt cheated when 'soft' Michael stole millions of hearts and captured the public's imagination for nearly 25 years. So, for now, we're getting more Joe Jackson than we can stomach and we understand why his group, The Falcons, never got off the ground, especially if Joe was the one responsible for bringing the charisma, because charisma... Joe ain't got. And hoping that it will show up at age 80 is hoping for too much.
And did I mention that Joe is scary looking? Even old pics when he was a young man weren't exactly flattering. Which begs the question... who the hell told Michael that he looked like Joe? Michael was cute, even through his awkward years, and even after the ridiculous plastic surgeries. Michael's smile and eyes made him attractive; Joe's smile and eyes... scary. Clearly, Katherine brought the pretty into that gene pool. Too bad she didn't shake out of her good cop role long enough to kick the $h*t out of sadistic cop.
Now to LaToya... totally called it about her getting compensated for blabbing her mouth to the British tabs. Now, Michael's addiction was his responsibility to kick, but I am sure that it didn't help when relatives, with questionable motives, like LaToya, Joe, and Jermaine, tried to 'intervene'. I wouldn't believe them either if they said that they were doing this because they cared. I've never had a life-threatening addiction, but I can totally tell when certain members of my family are 'fishing' for something else instead of extending a genuine gesture. And typically, I stay the hell away from them at all costs.
Next... the release of the Pepsi footage when MJ's hair caught on fire. WHY?!!!! After 25 years, why release this footage? It's not because US Weekly is trying to foster some understanding for MJ's plight. HELL NO... this was yet another example of doing something because it can be done, not because it was necessary. I remember when the accident happened; my mom woke me up and told me 'Michael Jackson got burned up'. In my 10 year old mind, I thought that dude was dead. Incinerated. My mom wasn't exactly a wordsmith, which is probably why I prefer to see and get my entertainment news on my own terms.
Speaking of that... that douchebag, Ian Halperin, is making his rounds on entertainment shows, plugging his MJ book. Too bad that Entertainment Tonight, Insider, Inside Edition, and Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell didn't do their research on this dude. Yes, they mention his prediction that MJ would be dead within 6 months, but they fail to note that Halperin said that his death would be caused by some kind of lung disease. Drug abuse isn't lung disease, so fcuker doesn't know what he's talking about; he just made a lucky guess. Anyway, D-Bag 'revealed' that MJ was gay. Yeah... so? And much like the sanctimonious white dudes yelling at MJ's grave, what's the point of revealing this, especially since MJ is dead and that the circumstances of his death is the current focus? And plus, I don't believe Halperin.
And what the hell is the deal with this Halperin dude, anyway? Dude barely blinked during his interview. Dude didn't move either. His unnaturalness makes me think that D-Bag is full of balloon juice. And his wardrobe during his appearance on Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell... why was he wearing Elton John/Tyler Durden sunglasses throughout his segments?
WTF, dude?
This dude wants to be a star... probably as desperate as Joe, Jermaine and LaToya. And his threat to 'expose Joe Jackson's dirt if he continues to speak to the press'? Why wait, fcuker?!!! Oh yeah... because you are positioning yourself for more media exposure. And way to whiz away any credibility your show had, JVM. You really don't have a nose for balloon juice, do you, JVM?
And Diane Dimond ain't slick, either. When she got her @$$ handed to her on Issues, why did she hightail it to Entertainment Tonight and Insider, where she was guaranteed to be given cushy treatment and all the camera time she wants, without being challenged. Too bad that she doesn't realize that ET/Insider have lost a lot of credibility because of their questionable attempts at covering celebrity stories (Anna Nicole, Heath Ledger, JP twins' births, etc.)
An infinite amount of parasites are coming out of the woodwork. And yet, none of their screen time, posturing, pontifications, and self-promotion will compare to enormity of MJ's talent and the tragic circumstances of his life. In fact, all of their efforts will not amount to one of MJ's false eyelashes.
And did I mention that Joe is scary looking? Even old pics when he was a young man weren't exactly flattering. Which begs the question... who the hell told Michael that he looked like Joe? Michael was cute, even through his awkward years, and even after the ridiculous plastic surgeries. Michael's smile and eyes made him attractive; Joe's smile and eyes... scary. Clearly, Katherine brought the pretty into that gene pool. Too bad she didn't shake out of her good cop role long enough to kick the $h*t out of sadistic cop.
Now to LaToya... totally called it about her getting compensated for blabbing her mouth to the British tabs. Now, Michael's addiction was his responsibility to kick, but I am sure that it didn't help when relatives, with questionable motives, like LaToya, Joe, and Jermaine, tried to 'intervene'. I wouldn't believe them either if they said that they were doing this because they cared. I've never had a life-threatening addiction, but I can totally tell when certain members of my family are 'fishing' for something else instead of extending a genuine gesture. And typically, I stay the hell away from them at all costs.
Next... the release of the Pepsi footage when MJ's hair caught on fire. WHY?!!!! After 25 years, why release this footage? It's not because US Weekly is trying to foster some understanding for MJ's plight. HELL NO... this was yet another example of doing something because it can be done, not because it was necessary. I remember when the accident happened; my mom woke me up and told me 'Michael Jackson got burned up'. In my 10 year old mind, I thought that dude was dead. Incinerated. My mom wasn't exactly a wordsmith, which is probably why I prefer to see and get my entertainment news on my own terms.
Speaking of that... that douchebag, Ian Halperin, is making his rounds on entertainment shows, plugging his MJ book. Too bad that Entertainment Tonight, Insider, Inside Edition, and Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell didn't do their research on this dude. Yes, they mention his prediction that MJ would be dead within 6 months, but they fail to note that Halperin said that his death would be caused by some kind of lung disease. Drug abuse isn't lung disease, so fcuker doesn't know what he's talking about; he just made a lucky guess. Anyway, D-Bag 'revealed' that MJ was gay. Yeah... so? And much like the sanctimonious white dudes yelling at MJ's grave, what's the point of revealing this, especially since MJ is dead and that the circumstances of his death is the current focus? And plus, I don't believe Halperin.
And what the hell is the deal with this Halperin dude, anyway? Dude barely blinked during his interview. Dude didn't move either. His unnaturalness makes me think that D-Bag is full of balloon juice. And his wardrobe during his appearance on Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell... why was he wearing Elton John/Tyler Durden sunglasses throughout his segments?
WTF, dude?
This dude wants to be a star... probably as desperate as Joe, Jermaine and LaToya. And his threat to 'expose Joe Jackson's dirt if he continues to speak to the press'? Why wait, fcuker?!!! Oh yeah... because you are positioning yourself for more media exposure. And way to whiz away any credibility your show had, JVM. You really don't have a nose for balloon juice, do you, JVM?
And Diane Dimond ain't slick, either. When she got her @$$ handed to her on Issues, why did she hightail it to Entertainment Tonight and Insider, where she was guaranteed to be given cushy treatment and all the camera time she wants, without being challenged. Too bad that she doesn't realize that ET/Insider have lost a lot of credibility because of their questionable attempts at covering celebrity stories (Anna Nicole, Heath Ledger, JP twins' births, etc.)
An infinite amount of parasites are coming out of the woodwork. And yet, none of their screen time, posturing, pontifications, and self-promotion will compare to enormity of MJ's talent and the tragic circumstances of his life. In fact, all of their efforts will not amount to one of MJ's false eyelashes.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Yeah... but -- more sequels than Rocky!!!!
Last week, I wanted to post another installment of 'Yeah... but' regarding jack@$$ed sanctimonious White dudes shooting themselves stupid to, essentially, a grave, but I was too upset to do so. I always thought it was a long held understanding that you don't speak ill of the dead, especially the day before the memorial. Rep. Peter King popped off at the mouth about MJ, emphasizing the negative and diminishing all of his accomplishments. CNN's legal analyst (I didn't bother jotting down or remembering his name) always had to interject the fact that he wouldn't leave his child with MJ, which is a legitimate position; however, he's been saying this during each appearance on CNN since MJ's death -- duly noted, dude!! Not that there would come an opportunity when MJ would be in charge of this dude's kid, but the most pressing thing is that MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD!!!! To all of the sanctimonious White dudes... MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD!!!! CUT OUT THE CONNIPTIONS!!! MJ is not in any position to hurt anyone, period, unless the Jacksons decide to use him as a projectile instead of... say... burying him.
Speaking of the Jacksons, I really wish that they would stop speaking.
Joe... Shut the fcuk up!!!
Jermaine... Shut the fcuk up!!!
And now fcuking LaToya... seriously, b*tch... Shut the fcuk up!!!
For weeks, we were celebrating MJ's talents and the fact that he never half-@$$ed it. Now we being inundated with 3rd and 4th string @$$hole parasites clearly positioning themselves for a payday. Clearly, the time when the talented ruled the entertainment world is over; now, the coattail riding opportunists are given the mike.
Poor everyone.
And please, networks... ease up on the Joe Jackson closeups; he looks like a French Mastiff.
Or Hooch.
Speaking of the Jacksons, I really wish that they would stop speaking.
Joe... Shut the fcuk up!!!
Jermaine... Shut the fcuk up!!!
And now fcuking LaToya... seriously, b*tch... Shut the fcuk up!!!
For weeks, we were celebrating MJ's talents and the fact that he never half-@$$ed it. Now we being inundated with 3rd and 4th string @$$hole parasites clearly positioning themselves for a payday. Clearly, the time when the talented ruled the entertainment world is over; now, the coattail riding opportunists are given the mike.
Poor everyone.
And please, networks... ease up on the Joe Jackson closeups; he looks like a French Mastiff.
Or Hooch.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
They did it right
Elegant.
Moving.
With a minimum of famewhoring and posturing. Although there was plenty of attempts at it.
However, it was a huge mistake recording CBS's coverage of it. Interjecting Katie Couric, along with a long ago MJ biographer and Babyface, at the cost of hearing parts of Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, and numerous other speakers, just so those three could 'identify' the speakers or offer color commentary was a huge mistake. But the biggest mistake was CBS cutting away from the end of the ceremony when the lone spotlight shone on a vacant spot where Michael should've been, in favor of The Price is Right... seriously?!!!
It's kind of grotesque to break down a memorial service in terms of 'favorite parts', but some moments did stand out.
For example... Marlon. I believed his grief. And his story about spotting Michael, incognito, in a record store... very funny.
And little Paris... she broke millions of hearts with her simple words. My fear, for both her and her brothers, is that the tabloids will take this occasion and use this as an alibi and justification for stalking and pursuing them in the coming years. Here's hoping the Jackson family will close ranks and shield them from the glare.
Usher and John Mayer - I've been very critical of these two and will likely be critical of them down the line, but both of them conducted themselves well and made their performances about Michael and his family and fans. Very good job.
But for me, the most memorable and moving part was Jennifer Hudson. Jennifer always brings it, in terms of performance, but when those dancers formed a circle around her, it took on a different feeling. Given the unimaginable family tragedy she suffered last fall, it was almost as if those dancers represented the community and was sending a blessing to her and her unborn baby. This may be an over the top thought, but I can't help seeing it that way.
More observations later...
And could someone tell Issues' Jane Velez-Mitchell to take it down a notch? She sounds less like a talk show host and more like a carnival side show barker.
Moving.
With a minimum of famewhoring and posturing. Although there was plenty of attempts at it.
However, it was a huge mistake recording CBS's coverage of it. Interjecting Katie Couric, along with a long ago MJ biographer and Babyface, at the cost of hearing parts of Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, and numerous other speakers, just so those three could 'identify' the speakers or offer color commentary was a huge mistake. But the biggest mistake was CBS cutting away from the end of the ceremony when the lone spotlight shone on a vacant spot where Michael should've been, in favor of The Price is Right... seriously?!!!
It's kind of grotesque to break down a memorial service in terms of 'favorite parts', but some moments did stand out.
For example... Marlon. I believed his grief. And his story about spotting Michael, incognito, in a record store... very funny.
And little Paris... she broke millions of hearts with her simple words. My fear, for both her and her brothers, is that the tabloids will take this occasion and use this as an alibi and justification for stalking and pursuing them in the coming years. Here's hoping the Jackson family will close ranks and shield them from the glare.
Usher and John Mayer - I've been very critical of these two and will likely be critical of them down the line, but both of them conducted themselves well and made their performances about Michael and his family and fans. Very good job.
But for me, the most memorable and moving part was Jennifer Hudson. Jennifer always brings it, in terms of performance, but when those dancers formed a circle around her, it took on a different feeling. Given the unimaginable family tragedy she suffered last fall, it was almost as if those dancers represented the community and was sending a blessing to her and her unborn baby. This may be an over the top thought, but I can't help seeing it that way.
More observations later...
And could someone tell Issues' Jane Velez-Mitchell to take it down a notch? She sounds less like a talk show host and more like a carnival side show barker.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Harsh... but necessary
So today's MJ's funeral.
A world stage for those who like to show their natural @$$es. So it doesn't come as a surprise that Joe and the brothers wanted to use this occasion to reintroduce the remaining Jackson 5 to the public.
SIT THE HELL DOWN, MALE JACKSONS!!!!
Clearly, Michael's time with you all on tour affected him to such an extent, he resorted to plastic surgeries. If you fcukers were serious about standing on your own feet, you would've done it before Michael's death. Stop using him as your crutch.
If this rumor is true, I hope the Jackson women stand their ground regarding keeping the service respectful. It's already going to be a circus - jack@$$es shouldn't be the center ring attraction.
As for my previous post, I absolutely stand by it. Jackson family friends and biographers continue to say how much Jermaine loved Michael, but they really have to, don't they, or risk getting bounced out of the inner circle and having to get a real job. But loving someone doesn't equal muscling one's way into the spotlight, whether doing Matt Lauer and Larry King's interviews, or reportedly, closing the funeral by singing a song Michael loved to sing.
Way to channel your inner Robert Ford, Jermaine.
Again, fingers crossed that this funeral will be about Michael, not a marketing tool for more Jackson family bull$h*t.
A world stage for those who like to show their natural @$$es. So it doesn't come as a surprise that Joe and the brothers wanted to use this occasion to reintroduce the remaining Jackson 5 to the public.
SIT THE HELL DOWN, MALE JACKSONS!!!!
Clearly, Michael's time with you all on tour affected him to such an extent, he resorted to plastic surgeries. If you fcukers were serious about standing on your own feet, you would've done it before Michael's death. Stop using him as your crutch.
If this rumor is true, I hope the Jackson women stand their ground regarding keeping the service respectful. It's already going to be a circus - jack@$$es shouldn't be the center ring attraction.
As for my previous post, I absolutely stand by it. Jackson family friends and biographers continue to say how much Jermaine loved Michael, but they really have to, don't they, or risk getting bounced out of the inner circle and having to get a real job. But loving someone doesn't equal muscling one's way into the spotlight, whether doing Matt Lauer and Larry King's interviews, or reportedly, closing the funeral by singing a song Michael loved to sing.
Way to channel your inner Robert Ford, Jermaine.
Again, fingers crossed that this funeral will be about Michael, not a marketing tool for more Jackson family bull$h*t.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sniffle, sniffle... dab the eyes. DAB THEM, DAMMIT!!!!!
It was inevitable. Jermaine Jackson began his lap of the Self-Serving tour on morning shows and Larry King Thursday and frankly, nothing he said or did really surprised me. I'll will get to him, but first, I have a question: What is with the View b*tches, present and past, trying to manipulate the hearts and minds of American women? Because men aren't susceptible to this level of pantload nor would any station director or talk show producer allow this level of blatant indoctrination of outright lies for a male-dominated audience.
First... the grand dame of pantload... Barbara fcuking Walters. Last week, Barbara Walter's sitdown interview with Ryan O'Neal was heavily promoted... until Michael Jackson passed away. But we were treated to leaks of the O'Neal interview, specifically the clip in which Ryan revealed that Farrah finally agreed to marry him. Sadly... sniff, sniff... Farrah died before the wedding could happen. But an interesting thing happened - after Farrah's memorial service, Ryan was spotted kissing some blonde chick in the back seat of a limo and it wasn't a simple peck. Inside Edition was the only show that played the clip; elsewhere, there was a complete blackout. Granted, I never thought that if Ryan and Farrah married at the end that he would be a respectful widower, but he was making out with another chick within hours of burying her. So, yet again, Barbara Walters tried to guide women viewers into believing in propoganda based on a manipulative, crappy movie from the 1970s, just because both the movie and Farrah's sad situation co-starred Ryan O'Neal. Ryan O'Neal was a selfish @$$hole then; he's an @$$hole now.
Next... Meredith Vieira talking up Jermaine Jackson, specifically, how he was very emotional about Michael's passing just because he was crying.
Sniff!
Okay... I made a lot about how Joe Jackson's presence at the BET Awards and the Monday press conference, with his record company smattered throughout his attempt to serve as representive for the Jackson family, during this trying time, was the height of insensitivity and self-interest. But at least he kept the self-promotion to a minimum. Jermaine Jackson, on the other hand, made the most of his screen time by product-placing nearly every aspect of the Jackson family mythology in his 'conversations' with the press. His announcement about Michael's death was a precursor: my brother, King of Pop, Allah.
During his interviews with Matt Lauer and Larry King, Jermaine hit on the same beats he used for years. Here's an abbreviated list, given that I had no desire to look at him or hear that affected soft reassuring tone in his voice, because seriously, I could dropkick him:
- The quintessential "We are a family." Or the incessant use of 'family' when the conversation had nothing to do with them. (And I guess he didn't remember how those fcukers in Dreamgirls sang 'We Are a Family' to Effie before that shanked her.)
- Namedropping of family members, especially his children (Jermagesty... seriously, Pecker!!)
- How he, Michael and the rest of the Jackson children were raised with love and morality (and routine beatings which wasn't mentioned)
- Plugging Allah and referring to his conversion to Islam
- Talking about a prospective family tour, including Janet, after Michael finished the This Is It tour (nevermind that Michael said at the press conference that this was really it for him - guess Jermaine didn't get that memo or Michael didn't get another directive from Jermaine about his obligation to 'the family')
- Reciting specific Michael Jackson-penned lyrics (Childhood and Man in the Mirror) - actually, he sort of performed them, since Michael couldn't do it, obviously
- Jermaine insisted that he and Michael were the lead singers of the Jackson 5... really, dude? Because while I do know that you did some lead vocals on some songs (Daddy's Home, I Am Love, etc.), Michael was the one who sung the majority of the songs for the group. And his songs were the more memorable and successful of the hits.
- Jermaine also mentioned that Michael should be buried at Neverland and that he, Jermaine himself, would like to live at Neverland Ranch... why, dude? Your @$$ didn't live there when Michael was alive, so what makes you think that it's Michael's final wish to not only be buried there, but have your famewhoring @$$ squatting on the property that his personal success created and funded?
- Phrasing Michael's death as 'losing an original member of the Jackson 5'... err, dude, it goes beyond that. Michael was the voice, energy and vibrance of the whole group. When your @$$ stayed with Motown, while the rest of the brothers moved to Epic, they still enjoyed some success because the group still had the voice, energy and vibrance. Me thinks that you are laying the groundwork to reconfigure the group, with possibly, some of your own kids. Good luck with that
- And finally, the most galling thing that came out of that pecker's mouth. In that soft, affected, earnest tone, he said that "The world wasn't ready for Michael." And an addendum... that reticience was the reason for the cruelty towards Michael.
THE HELL THE WORLD WASN'T!!!!
For over 30 years, people drank in Michael's brilliance and relished it; then things happened that couldn't be ignored. You couldn't ignore some things either, Jermaine. Remember "Word to the Badd", Jermaine? You got bent out of shape because Michael's popularity reached a level you couldn't conceptualize. You also took ombrage to the things that he was doing to himself physically, i.e. the plastic surgeries. But instead of going to him in private and being persistent if he refused to listen to you, you decided to recruit LA Reid, Babyface, and Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes to right the infamous diss song. For your upcoming record... at the time. Around the time of your brother's success with Bad.
That was cruelty, Jermaine. Essentially, you joined the chorus of a disaffected segment of the population who didn't give a damn how Michael felt about anything. You, the so-called, spokesperson of the family, slammed your brother for being successful and concentrating on his career, a move you attempted when you opted to stay with Motown back in the 70s? We saw that, like Joe, you prefer for Michael to measure himself to your own particular yardstick; I'm sure that was nice to swallow.
So, above, here's a video of when Michael danced to Jermaine's tune, fresh off of Michael's success with Thriller, for the benefit of Jermaine's album. And below, here's an example of Jermaine's wrath when Little Brother didn't throw Big Brother a bone, during the Bad period.
And Big Brother... have a little talk with Little Brother Randy... and preferably without one of the kids you fathered with his ex bouncing on your knee. Oh... wait... this particular brand of family business isn't camera-friendly or essential to 'the family' bottom line.
Suck it, ho!!!
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