Santa Barbara 25 - Double dose of Augusta

Since last week was pretty hectic, I failed to post another Santa Barbara clip.

This week, I'm in an Augusta Lockridge mood. Plus, I heard that Louise Sorel is returning to Days of Our Lives as Aunt Vivian Alamain. So why not serve up some bourgy, cougary Augusta Lockridge action.

The following clip features Louise Sorel as Augusta, along with Judith McConnell as Sophia, sparring during a charity benefit.



And as a bonus, Augusta delivering some home truths to the deluded Capwells and their assembled friends during the Who Killed Channing storyline. This clip made me realize how important Augusta was to the SB landscape; like Mason, Augusta was the truth and was impossible to muzzle.

Young and the Restless is really getting on my nerves

Typically, the main point of contention for most soap fans is that newbies receive frontburner treatment to the detriment of longtimers. For the most part, I agree that the writers and TPTB ditch the veterans way too quickly in favor of some green 'actor' (read: pretty, youthful face). However, I wish that the veterans would sit their @$$es down, specifically the 30-40-something basketcases like Sharon and Ashley.

Look, I know that Colleen was a recast and a newbie, but interrupting the Abbotts as they grapple with Colleen's death and the possibility of organ donation for more hand-wringing and whining from grown-@$$ed, pampered women is just too much to take. And Nick and Victoria's heart to heart about Victor, which resulted in, essentially, shrugging their shoulders at his boorish, manipulative behavior, since they can't do anything about it...

Can't do anything about it? Really?

Or do they mean 'can't do anything about it because it would impact their inheritance'? Because for broke people, like myself, something can be done about a dysfunctional, bullying parent, namely cutting all ties to said parent. And given that Nick and Victoria have children, severing their ties with Victor could impact his attitude and behavior. But, no... there are other things to be considered like their inheritances and jobs and $h*t...

And Nikki... this broad has some fcuking balls! Barely visited the Abbotts when they were hanging on to hope, and yet, here she comes to ask for Colleen's heart for Victor. Seriously, the looks that she and Victoria exchanged when Abby (fcuking bigmouth!) dropped the dime on Colleen's condition, it was like watching Dr. Fronkenstein and Igor licking their chops. Naturally, Nikki and Victoria have better hair, but it was pretty damn ghoulish and typical. Typical tunnel-vision Newman selfishness.

Naturally, Nikki and the Newmans will get what they 'need', because Tracy is really, really nice. But the Newmans don't deserve this miracle and will promptly suppress this gift when the novelty wears off.

I seriously hate this storyline.

The family resemblance is astouding

Gotta say... The Insider's new approach at seperating itself from Entertainment Tonight is working; I'm not too keen about seeing borderline celebrities and so-called 'entertainment journalists' pontificating about the entertainment news of the day. And since the vulture Diane Dimond is perched on the Insider, I will be less likely to watch the show again.

However, the Insider provided a dubious nugget to their incessant Jackson coverage, namely hauling out Joe Jackson's illegitimate daughter, Joh'Vonnie, to talk about herself (read: the private Jacksons).

Joh'Vonnie's resemblance to Joe was outstanding: she looked like a French Mastiff, just like Joe; she had a blind spot when it comes to her place within the Jackson family, just like Joe; and she's capable of making Michael's death all about her and a possible moneymaking tool, just like Joe, Jermaine, and LaToya.

Apparently, Joh'Vonnie wanted the public to know that the Jackson siblings haven't welcomed her into the family with open arms; naturally, she glossed over the point that she was the result of an affair with a side dish and that Katherine was crushed by the betrayal. Given that Katherine is the beloved mother of the nine Jackson siblings, it really shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, although it seems like a surprise to Joh'Vonnie. She even seemed floored that Michael didn't approach or spoke to her at a family reunion. Really? You are shocked that a poster boy for mama's boy would shrink away from meeting the result of his father's many trysts with groupies and jump offs, which MJ may have felt guilty about because he covered up for his father out of fear, which resulted in even more trysts with jump offs - you really are surprised that he didn't want to talk to you, Joh'Vonnie?

But the kicker for me was when Joh'Vonnie expressed her hurt for not being included in MJ's obituary, resulting in an estrangement with Papa Joe. Frankly, Joe was lucky to even be allowed at the funeral, given his red carpet plug for a red carpet when he was supposed to be in mourning for his son. First of all, if I prepare my own obituary and will likely do so, especially after watching the Jackson family milking the whole affair, there will be some relatives omitted from my obituary. Why? Because I don't like them and would rather extricate their existence from my death, much like in my life. Besides, burying Michael was Katherine's domain, given that it was her and him when he was born; the mother of the deceased should take precedence over an errant, abusive, opportunistic father and his jump off's spawn.

So, Joh'Vonnie, your grievance is misplaced. If Joe kicks off and your name is excluded from the obituary, then you can talk $h*t about it. As for Michael, you have no better say in the wake of his death than you did during his life.

JMO, this chick's obvious feeling of entitlement adds even more credence to those MJ phone conversations on You Tube.

Let Victor Newman die!!!!

Please, TPTB at CBS, let his cranky, lying, vindictive @$$ slip off this mortal coil.

And please reverse Colleen's irreversible brain damage, because viewers know where the current course is leading.

Sadly, since Y & R rarely cops out when it comes to real-life scenarios like brain damage, it looks like Colleen will die and Victor will be the lucky recipient of her heart, since she agreed to be a organ donor upon her death. And quite frankly, this doesn't sit well with me at all.

For months, Victor treated this girl with such contempt, which was completely unjustified. And given that his pathological need to stick it to Jack led to Colleen's death and the fact that he lied, bold-faced, to Colleen's aunt and mother when confronted about his continued misdeeds and negligence when it comes to caring for those he supposedly love, this direction seems very cruel.

This isn't the General Hospital BJ/Maxie heart transplant storyline. There is no way that the audience will cry for Victor or the Newmans; there will be tears for the Abbotts and the Carltons. And while many, like myself, are feeling rage, the rage will escalate because we know that the Jack/Victor rivalry will not end. Jack will not let this stand and Billy will be in the back, egging him on, and frankly, that will be completely understandable. Victor, on the other hand, may feel some guilt about how he treated Colleen and the ways he set her death in motion, but he will get over it and resume his vendetta with Jack because the d*ck can't help himself. Yes, I know that Jack has done many things to Victor, but he usually pays for it, in some way; Victor rarely, if ever, pays for his dirty tricks and machinated cruelties. And it also doesn't sit well that Victoria will get a second chance with Colleen's ex, JT, since she is still alive and that she will fake remorse about how she aped her father's cruelties towards Colleen and feign gratitude for Colleen's 'gift of life'. Like Victor, Victoria will revert to her raggy behavior after a brief period of mourning and placating JT.

Surprisingly, I think that the Williams family deserve more tears than the Newmans. Although Patty was integral to Colleen's death, this woman was clearly mentally disturbed and shouldn't have been dragged into Victor's vendetta against Jack. And the scene when Patty surrendered to the GCPD was heart-wrenching. And as I mentioned weeks ago, Paul was more engaged in resolving this situation than the very dude who set this whole thing in motion. And Paul's only interest in this was, in theory, Patty, but the public safety of others was a very close second. Meanwhile, Victor, whose wife, granddaughter, and goddaughter were impacted by Patty, sat on his fcuking hands for a long-@$$ed time. Paul will be feeling this tragedy stronger than the fcuking Newmans, including Nikki, who reverted back into the blinded wife role she rocked for 20+ years. Poor Paul.

But back to the Abbotts - there is more pain in store for them, involving Ashley's baby, although it may be postponed by a typical baby switch story.

Can't the Abbotts catch a break?

The VMAs - a week later...

The shock of Kanye West's boorish behavior towards Taylor Swift has worn off significantly; unfortunately, the punditry persists.

However, I wanted to give props to the performances that attempted to return focus back to what is typical VMAs.

Lady Gaga - she's been accused, unfairly, of trying to bite Madonna's style; I wholeheartedly disagree with this. While Gaga's music embodies the fun of Madonna's earlier work, Gaga can actually sing and aspects of herself, though bizarre at times, seem authentic. Madonna, on the other hand, seemed colder and more calculating, even in her very early days. Gaga's presentation of her hit medleys was reminiscent of Madonna's Vogue performance from the 90s, but Gaga turned it on its head to very gory effect. That audacity reminded me of Prince's Gett Off performance in that yellow lace cat suit with the butt cheek cut outs.

Pink - the flying trapeze. Very impressive and appropriate for the song. And she sung it live. Her performance encapsulated what the VMAs used to be about- performance. Now, it feels like another contrived event for the sake of product placement.

Jay-Z and Alicia Keyes - while the actual performance was enjoyable, the lead up was absolutely ridiculous. Seriously... did we need to 'follow' Jay-Z from the streets, through the building, backstage, and onto the platform where he was raised into view of the VMA audience? No, it was absolutely unnecessary and seemed like a bow to Jay-Z which he really didn't deserve.

But for me, the best performance remains Janet's tribute to Michael. It's been unfairly ignored due to Kanye's buttpluggery, but it really was a genius performance. While I hated how the control room ruthlessly cut between the various dancers during Thriller, Bad and Smooth Criminal, they made up for it during Janet's part.

Full shots and few edits - that's how you handle choreography.

But the fact that, unlike the other Jacksons who hogged camera time with their 'tributes' (yes, I'm talking about Jermaine's version of 'Smile'), Janet's tribute felt pretty emotional. Yes, Janet looked angry, but for many people like myself, putting on an angry face stifle tears. And, there was this energy, intensity and swagger that felt unbelievably appropriate. It felt like a big brother having a last dance with the baby sister who offered competition and unwavering support to him. And how the brief dance sequence was shot emphasized it. Digitally removing Janet from the dance studio and the fact that Michael was still in black and white while Janet was in real life color and framed in forced perspective, added more depth. And the fact that he appeared healthier and more vital and energetic complies with many people's belief about how souls are in the afterlife. And the fact that Janet couldn't stick the leap up and spin after the slide like she did nearly 15 years ago, again, reinforces that Michael, now, is in better shape than when he was alive mere months ago.

The whole performance just felt right. And yet again, Janet proved that if the Jacksons want to represent Michael well, then Janet should be their go-to person, because unlike many of them, she doesn't seem to be working an angle on the American/global public. She just seemed like a woman missing her older brother/friend. And the behind the scenes documentary, which aired yesterday on MTV, emphasized this. While there were new choreographers involved in the performance, some previous collaborators who worked with either or both Michael and Janet, came back to help Janet out, which added to the whole performance.

And once again, I have to recommend Chris Tucker as a possible shoulder for Janet to lean on. There is just something about the idea of them being together.

Guiding Light... done

Watched the last week of Guiding Light, mainly for sentimental reasons - not for some potboiler payoff.

Guiding Light was the soap I migrated to after Santa Barbara was canceled. Actually, I went to Guiding Light before the cancelation because I couldn't stand the infiltration of new characters who didn't add anything to the Santa Barbara landscape. My memories are getting pretty muddled, but I do remember Maureen nearly catching Ed and Lillian screwing around... a steamy shower comes to mind. Unfortunately, my GL watching was pretty sporadic, therefore I missed Maureen finding out and ultimately dying in the car crash; but I did see some of the fallout and noted how fantastically Peter Brown's Ed grappled with his guilt. The subsequent years with Ed picking up the pieces and handling Michelle's grief and anger towards Maureen's loss and the reasons why were worth watching.

David and Kat - on the run.

Harley and Mallet.

Nadine faking a pregnancy and planning to pass Bridget and Hart's baby off as her and Billy's baby was memorable.

Blake (the Sherry Stringfield version) and Ross trysting in the elevator during the blackout comes to mind.

Holly and Ed's talks and Holly helping Michelle out when she started her period.

Billy and Hamp's friendship. Actually, I think I jumped onboard during the friendship era, because I remember a lot of heart to heart conversations that were much more compelling than the usual action sequences.

The Frank- Eleni (the Melina Kanakouredis (sp) version) and Alan-Michael triangle.

Bridget and Vanessa fighting for baby Peter.

Roger Thorpe aka Michael Zaslow.

Fcuking Roger Thorpe. I loved Roger Thorpe. I wanted him to, finally, get his $h*t together so he and Holly could get back together permanently. But dude was easily distracted by ambition and jealousy. Then he fcuked it up by tangling with Alexandra Spaulding, who had no problem lying to Holly about she and Roger hooking up, resulting in Holly's desk top tryst with Fletcher Reade. Holly's pregnancy and her relationship with Fletcher killed any chance of she and Roger making it work.

Technically, there may have been a chance for a Holly and Roger reunion, if not for Jill Warren Phelps. In a previous post, I blamed Kim Zimmer for assisting in the ruination of Santa Barbara, but I gotta note that this SB alum c*cked up the works on GL. As many know, Michael Zaslow noticed that he was having speech problems. Not only did Phelps fire him, she added insult to injury, saying that she doesn't want a 'wizened old man' playing the role. Turns out that Zaslow was suffering from Lou Gehring's disease, which is fatal. Promptly, Phelps checked into an alcoholic rehab, although no level of detox could rid anyone of that level of c*ntiness.

Maybe Zaslow would've retired if he was greeted with concern and compassion, but that lit a fire under him, which resulted in him revisiting his old stomping grounds at One Life to Live. He was wheelchair-bound and unable to speak, but that desire to act was still there. Can you imagine if GL allow somewhat superhuman Roger Thorpe to grapple with an incurable, fatal disease, with the help of Holly, Blake and Hart? And the denizens of Springfield would've risen to the occasion and given Roger/Michael Zaslow the goodbye he richly deserved. Instead, we got Sebastian. But back to the better times.

Bridget, Hart, Julie and Dylan.

Buzz, Nadine and Jenna Bradshaw.

Nadine meeting her end at the hands of Brent Lawrence, dressed as 'Marion Crane'. That storyline was hard to take because I loved Nadine so much. And the fact that it took months for her weighed down, shower curtain wrapped body to float to the surface and that Frank ID-ed her accidentally based on some pieces of jewerly was pretty sad.

A 'pregnant' Annie Dutton throwing herself down the stairs and framing Reva for it. I remember having a debate with a coworker about this. She was firmly on Reva's side, since she was a longtime viewer, but this storyline made me angry because I thought Annie got the short end of the stick. I mean, what woman wouldn't take it hard finding out the only reason why your husband married you was because his daughter told him to do it? Again, Reva's fingerprints weren't on this, but I just didn't buy the self-sacrificing Reva bit at all, especially when it was so clear that she and Josh wanted each other. I think story ploys like this made me feel the way I do towards, say, Brad and Angelina. If you want to be together, just fcuking be together; it's not worth hurting innocent people, although the GL writers went through great pains to paint Annie as not so innocent. Still, I really hoped that Annie's plan would've worked, just so it would teach Josh and Reva not to be so disingenuous.

Now for the reason why I stopped watching regularly - the Santos. I could give a damn about the Santos. Who the fcuk were they to the rest of the Springfield crowd? They were merely off shoots of Danny, which I could take, but it was a colossal mistake to allow this family to eat up a lot of the screentime.

And the San Cristobel storyline. I always hate when monarchies/royalty are brought into a soap; I especially hated it that Reva was hooked into it, although the result, hot-ass Jonathan, made it somewhat digestable. And Olivia too. I liked Olivia's rage a lot - she was scrappy as h*ll. But I got back into it because of Jonathan, but promptly left when he did.

I checked in every once in a while, though. I did see that Olivia and Natalia had some pretty hot chemistry long before the writers finally brought them together. In fact, this storyline very nearly got me hooked back into Guiding Light, but nothing kills viewer investment than a cancelation announcement, especially for a show that's been on air for 72 years.

So the final week of Guiding Light -- it felt very rushed. However, the seemingly small moments really got to me. For example - Alan's death. On paper, Alan Spaulding's death is not a small thing, but the fact that he, somewhat, made up for some past misdeeds and was able to see the great-grandchild he tried to wrestle away from Jonathan before dying in such a peaceful, tranquil manner, seemed kinda ironic. And Phillip finding him like that - Grant Alexander broke my heart. And Alexandra's response was pretty expected and heartbreaking; however, Fletcher returning to comfort her and eventually, take her away, was well-appreciated. Like Roger, Alex had a hard time letting sleeping dogs lie and lost Fletcher as a result of the same lie that broke up Roger and Holly. Speaking of Holly, it was good to see that she and Ed finally got together. Again, their friendship in the wake of Maureen's death was one of the things that sold me on GL.

It's absolutely painful that the brass in charge of daytime programming continue to underestimate what soaps mean to the viewers. Yes, viewership continues to fall off, but something should be said about the loyalty of the remaining soap viewers. Admittedly, I'm not one of them anymore because of Santa Barbara and Another World's cancelations. I'm a soap hopper, unapologetically so, because why should I, as a fan, be loyal to something when the brass can't muster up the patience, enthusiasm or willingness to examine what's behind the shift in viewership?

And no, reality shows aren't the cause or solution to this problem, either. Personally, I'd rather had reruns of SB on than Starting Over.

Here's a brief clip of Ed and Maureen's confrontation after she learned of his affair with Lillian.

Santa Barbara 25 - Robert Newman as Kirk Cranston

Honestly, this was a surprise to me.

While rooting around You Tube, I was reminded that Joseph Bottoms, aka Kirk Cranston, left Santa Barbara before the conclusion of an important story arch. His replacement? None other than Robert Newman aka Guiding Light's Josh Lewis.

So, in lieu of posting another Justin Deas/Keith Timmons video, I decided to post the conclusion of the Aqualand storyline.

And yeah... I know that Kim Zimmer was on Santa Barbara too, but I kinda blame her for contributing to the show's demise. Her Jody was just Reva in soccer mom mode.

It's the VMAs, not Tool Academy, Kanye!

I heard about Kanye's @$$hat behavior and was relieved that I didn't see it. But of course, I couldn't get away from it on World News Now and various morning radio shows.

It was inexcusable to do that to anyone, but doing it to a 19 year old girl? Dude has lost his mind, especially since he behaved so passionately for a video that, compared to MJ, The Beastie Boys, Aerosmith, and numerous other previous VMAs winners, really wasn't much. Interesting, especially when the pre-show rewarded The Beastie Boys' Sabotage an honorary VMA, since it didn't get the Moonman back in the 90s. Sometimes, undeserving videos win, but life does march on. It's not the 2000 presidential election, son.

Plus, isn't it ironic that Kanye objected to a country-western crossover artist winning this award when MJ, an R & B artist, opened the doors and windows for every non-rock music act to be seen on MTV?

No thought. No mind. All mouth.

And again, it's a reminder that talent and professionalism are taking a backseat to loud-mouthed theatrics.

I am truly depressed.

Yeah... and another fcuking thing...

What the hell was with all of the red carpet personnel ruining the fcuking surprise?

Yeah, we know that E and their like ruined the surprise already, but why make it even worse by pressing people about their expectations?

It's like these jack@$$es didn't internalize what MJ was all about. MJ brought magic and surprise. He didn't focus-group it or tipped his hand. And yet, the schmucks on the VMA embraced the Dee Thomas role and blabbed, blabbed, blabbed about it.

And a quarter wasn't even involved.

Janet's VMA tribute... could've been better...

The dancers were fantastic.

Janet was fantastic.

However, the crew shooting the tribute should be shot! WTF was wrong with them? They tried to be overly slick and sleek and instead, the whole presentation seemed disjointed and confusing. This is supposed to be the VMAs; long-held filmmaking principles should've been employed, especially when choreography is involved.

Minimal edits, full shots, and maybe long-shots.

This is why current music videos suck - there is no respect for performance; just a masturbatory exercise for the director.

Widescreen/35mm format would've been better.

And the absence of Jermaine and Joe... even better.

Nothing's quite like CRAZY BROWN EYES

In pop culture, blue eyes, especially certain shades of blue, make crazy very readable. Anthony Hopkins has that particular shade; so does Daniel Craig. Denise Richards, to a certain extent, and Heather Locklear, in her recent mugshot, had very readable crazy, although it was really prescription drug intoxication. But with brown, if crazy is read, it usually means that there is a bumper crop of crazy going on.

Charles Manson... bat$hit!

Octomom... bat$h*t!

That dude who killed Rebecca Schaffer... really bat$h*t.

Now we have a new contender... LaToya Jackson.

On Friday's 20-20, she sat down with Barbara Walters to discuss her brother Michael, since anyone with any sense isn't really interested in knowing about LaToya. I couldn't help thinking about how ridiculous it was that she managed to finagle herself a Barbara Walters interview and several days' work on The View, given how she helped destroy Michael Jackson's reputation back in the 90s; but then again, current television and the producers behind it aren't especially smart and really don't have a steel-trap memory, hence, the possibility for a LaToya Jackson spotlight grab.

Sure, 20-20 touched on LaToya's nasty accusations against Michael, the Playboy layouts and a foray into soft-core porn, but Barbara didn't dwell on that nor the 'private' reconciliation or possible estrangement, because to me, just because the b*tch signed his death certificate and suggested the Glendale cemetary doesn't mean that after her betrayal, she and Michael ever really made up. She says so, but she's a liar; Michael can't say because he's dead; and the Jacksons can't say because they are desperate to maintain a facade.

At any rate, LaToya's attempt to repair the family's tarnished reputation failed. I don't believe for a second that Michael reconciled with Joe, nor do I believe that Joe tried to intervene regarding Michael's drug abuse. Why? Because on Larry King, Joe himself said that he would've intervene if he knew about it. Naturally, it is entirely possible that Joe knew and weighed the options regarding intervention versus 'hands off'. Saving Michael wouldn't have guaranteed anything for Joe, especially when it came to money. Michael may have been appreciative, but that wouldn't have translated into Michael participating in any Jackson 5/ Jacksons resurrection, and frankly, gratitude doesn't seem like a thing that would resonate with Joe. More spotlight/public sympathy/extented 15 minutes were guaranteed if Michael died.

The same goes for LaToya. After she threw Michael under the bus, there was no incentive to do anything for Michael unless she got something on the back end. Yes, she claimed that she was 'forced' to say those things about Michael, but the question is does the b*tch have a core or anything resembling an inner life? Because if it was anyone else who had a sibling that they claimed to love oh so much and someone forced them to tell unspeakable lies about said sibling, a functional human being would have to take a breather and regroup. LaToya, on the other hand, told lies about Michael molesting children and then took the stage minutes afterwards. Kinda pecular that LaToya was capable of doing this when she claimed to be so devastated about the poor children. No attempts at self-reflection at all - no pause to fathom what she allegedly witnessed - just give me the headset and I will strut my stuff?

This is why LaToya is a liar and quite possibly, a sociopath. Weeks ago, people were shaking with anger regarding that nutbag dude slapping a toddler at Walmart, despite these people not witnessing it firsthand. And yet, LaToya Jackson, upon 'witnessing grossly inappropriate behavior by her brother' and recounting it to anyone willing to rig lights and set up audio equipment, could go on stage to perform? Nobody, not even professional performers, could do that. But LaToya did but mind you, LaToya's not a professional performer or entertainer; but she is a hooker, though.

A hooker in the highest order. She sold her and her brother's @$$ to Jack Gordon; and when the Jacksons met her price, namely a nicely feathered nest, she sold her @$$ back to them. She sold her niece and nephews' privacy to Barbara Walters; she sold lies about her late brother's inner thoughts to the British tabloids. And there is no doubt that she will sell them again and again, for as long as greedy, senile @$$hats lackies like Barbara Walters give her an avenue to do so. Because in the 53 years that the twat's been on Planet Earth (she's merely visiting, y'all), she was never accountable for any hurt or harm she caused anyone else. Her failures were never her fault; her lack of anything resembling humanity was never her fault.

And let's talk about LaToya's eyes. Those bat$hit crazy brown eyes that tried to lie but failed miserably. She didn't blink several times during the interview, especially during that Michael and Joe making up garbage. Like Ian Halperin, LaToya didn't blink at all, which is unnatural, which hints at that a lie is coming out of their mouths. If you're telling the truth, your eye contact and blinking is normal; I heard buzzing... Futurama Hypnofrog buzzing - not the fcuking truth.

I also saw a lot of makeup and false eyelashes. And no, her lack of blinking had nothing to do with the lashes or the makeup. If the lashes and makeup irritated her eyes, therefore she opted not to blink, where are the bloodshots? She was, allegedly, so emotional about Michael and his children, and yet, her eyes didn't have a hint of red, much less pink, from tears.

Your eyes can't lie, LaToya and they sure as hell can't hide the crazy. Sit your lying, plastic, budget @$$ down! You're not Michael, no matter how many bleaching treatments you get or how thick you wear your powder.

Public transportation- An assault to one of the senses

I've been having car problems; specifically, the rear leaf spring is broken, along with a broken pipe in the exhaust system.

So I had to use public transportation or the bus, which I really didn't mind. I have a student pass, resulting in a discounted fare; the routes are easy to figure out; and the commute to my job is relatively short.

But today, I deviated out of my turf, and my nose suffered for it.

Ironically, I finally had my car towed to my mechanic who is located in the neighboring college town. As a result, I had to take the bus and do a transfer. Initially, the ride was fine until a certain passenger boarded the bus, smelling of days old B.O., menthol cigarettes, and a hint of number two. Of course, he had to get up to get some bus schedules. Of course, there was a lack of ventilation. Of course, despite sitting in the back of the bus, this dude's funk could be smelled all the way to the front.

In my depressed days, I wouldn't shower for a day or two; but then again, I wouldn't leave the house either. And I certainly wouldn't leave the house, funky, and assail others within a rolling, poorly ventilated smell incubator like the d@mn bus. And to be frank, there is no d@mn reason for someone to be that smelly that early in the morning. Sure, I can understand being smelly at the end of a work day, but that's sweaty smelly. This was Sunday morning - there's no excuse for nasty smelly.

Naturally, this dude could've been homeless. He wasn't dressed especially well; however, he had a fcuking bicycle!!! He used the bus' bicycle rack. I have a job and a place to live, but I don't have a bicycle. Does and should bicycles be a mark of a person's economic means? No, unless you want a bicycle and can't buy one, which is me. Again, I have an apartment, but I don't have room to stash it, nor does the complex have bike racks on the premises. This dude has a bicycle, which implies he has a place to put it. Bicycle racks are an extra; sinks and water basins are pretty standard.

Again, it's possible that he's homeless, but I still can't see how he have the wherewithall to have menthol cigarettes and bus fare, but is seemingly unwilling to go to Walgreens, get their cheap-@$$ed bar soap, and wash and rinse some clothes and his own @$$!!

Not very sensitive but that dude stunk!!

Santa Barbara 25 - Keith 3

Here's a treat.

More Keith aka Justin Deas, with serious backup from Robin Mattson (Gina), Nancy Lee Grahn (Julia), A Martinez (Cruz) and Marcy Walker (Eden).

Basically, this clip consists of Keith eavesdropping on Julia and Cruz while they were searching for missing/presumed dead Mason.

This clip is a favorite because it shows wall to wall chemistry among the Santa Barbara cast.

Chris Harrison, Madison Michelle... a word...

Your jobs aren't demanding. Hell, you work for Hollywood 411 - hardly a beacon for first-rate entertainment journalism. Very little is expected from the both of you, therefore I shouldn't be annoyed by the obnoxiousness of your punditry during the Michael Jackson funeral.

I freely admit that I was annoyed by the hour and a half delay in starting, but that was due to the mourners having to wait in hot weather near the raging wildfires. Your annoyance didn't stem from anything. You were not fans; you were not mourners; you were not sat waiting near wildfires. You were in an air-conditioned studio, talking to your usual nattering, incompetent set of tabloid pundits like bug-eyed Ryan Smith, Nod Di Da Di aka Kim Serafin, and assorted others.

For reasons unbeknown to me, you two were hired by Hollywood 411, therefore you were called upon to do a job; unfortunately, you continue to do it poorly. Your incessant whining about the funeral delay seemed unprofessional, especially given that you two would've been paid regardless.

This is part and parcel why television journalism is going down the tubes. Supposedly impartial journalistic professionals confuse themselves with reality stars and think that every thought that travels through their brains needs to be voiced. They really don't, especially by a pair of TV hosts who continue to invite the likes of Kim Serafin and Ryan Smith, who haven't promoted a single story from their respective publications, that ever turned out to be true.

And what the fcuk is the deal with pandering to Ryan Smith? That fcuker was once known as 'an editor for OK! Magazine' - now, he's an 'celebrity journalist'? Seems to me that title change came immediately after OK! used MJ's death pic for their cover. Months before, Ryan didn't have a problem representing inaccurate OK!, but he can't take representing tacky and tasteless OK!?

Enough with the pretense, people! Time is money, but in your cases, you're a dime a dozen and wouldn't be missed if TV Guide Network decided to give you the gate like they did with TV Watercooler.

They finally buried him

On Thursday, the Jacksons finally buried Michael. And selected members, especially those who will benefit from the reality show, milked this for all it was worth. Was it necessary to have fellow mourners wait for an hour and a half in 90 degree weather, near raging wildfires, just to stage a 30+ car convoy to the ceremony? Hell, no. Yes, Michael was big on theatrics, but dude was able to deliver; the Jacksons, with the exception of Janet, can't.

Selected members refuse to accept that if they want a viable future, they need to start from scratch. They want to build on the ruins of the Jackson 5/Jacksons; but they are grown-@ssed men, piggybacking on the ghosts of the children/young men who won over 1970s America. Tito and Janet have the right idea and I'm pretty sure that they are not as keen as, say, Joe and Jermaine, to regress back into the Jackson Family Hour where one or two of the Jacksons did the majority of the heavy-lifting while the rest merely got paid for doing very little.

So my advice to Janet and Tito - get back to your regular lives while the getting's good. But especially to Janet - word on the street is that Jermaine wants to move nearer to his 'sisters' (read: you); possibly for familiar togetherness-definitely for guilt-tripping, manipulation, and even mooching. I would advice you to move immediately. Normally, I would say stand your ground, but Jermaine's been working the more gullible/greedy areas of the press (read: Larry King), therefore, the pecker wouldn't be above using that in to guilt you into doing something you really don't want to.

So Janet... run. Run long. Run fast. Run deep.

Maybe you should head south. Chris Tucker's home base is in the South, I believe. He was Michael's friend and he just recently lost his father unexpectedly. Maybe he can help, if you really need it.

Sorry... but when I saw a solitary, somber Janet at the funeral, for some reason, Chris Tucker popped into my head. Somehow, a possible pairing between these two kinda makes sense.

Santa Barbara 25 - Keith 2

Here's another Keith clip, although the bulk of it also features Julia, Eden and Victoria at Kelly's bridal shower.

This was just a taste of the antagonism that Keith seemed to seek out in anyone who crossed his path.

Again, this was during the Elena Nikolaus murder storyline.