Shaddup! Shaddup... you bat$h*t b!tch!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't like Katherine Heigl.

I can't stand Jennifer Aniston.

But pound for pound, especially because of that Easter Island-sized head of hers, I hate Nadya Suleman. I don't give a fcuk if the bitch is certifiable nuts - I HATE HER!!!!

And while I have my issues with Kate Gosselin, namely her tunnel-vision towards her bottom line versus the welfare of her family, Nadya Suleman has NO RIGHT to diss her.

The way Kate Gosselin wound up with 8 kids was in no way shady, whereas Nadya's bat$h*t @$$ acquired all of her children in disgustingly shady ways. Kate actually was college educated and a registered nurse, whereas Nadya continues to claim that she is psychology student or some such $h*t. If the $h*t was to come down, Kate could have a good shot supporting her children on her own steam, whereas Nadya would leech off of her mother and the government yet again.

For someone supposedly studying psychology, Bat$h*t lacks clarity and the ability to self-reflect. Weeks ago, she claimed that In Touch or Life and Style published a false story about her being a stripper under the stage name of 'Angelina' and declared that she would take legal measures. I guess those plans fell through or this didn't elicit enough headlines or site hits and instead, she opted to pick a catfight with someone who spoke of her back in February. Desperate, much? And decidedly tardy.

You are not superior because you lack a husband problem, Nadya! Kate did things right; she married; tried having children; sought fertility assistance; and had two sets of multiples. You, on the other hand, married; then divorced; found some douchebag who was a bit too free with the baby batter; found the Dr. Nick Riveria of IVF procedures; and set out to have babies with developmental difficulties so that you can be perceived as the mother of all mothers. All of this was funded by the government, student loans, workers comp, and now sleazebag media outlets gagging for more trainwreck television.

And denying that you had plastic surgery to look like Angelina Jolie... please!!! Your surgeries were a dismal failure, mainly because you and your surgeon haven't grasped the concept of 'striking' features (Angelina) versus large features (you). Seriously, how can your neck support that Easter Island-sized melon of yours? If, say, HR Pufinstuf was feeling low about life and wanted to end it all, all he had to do is challenge you to a headbutting contest. Dude would be done with one shot.

The only thing you have to be smug about is the fact that you haven't revealed the identity of your Ratskiwatski; however, I have no doubt that you will throw him down the stairs if the paycheck is large enough or if you fcuk up so huge that you need a deflection. Kate Gosselin isn't a major deflection, but it's enough to remind the public that your pelican-faced @$$ is still here; but trust me, people are more likely to endure her than your medicine ball-sized capasa and your babies arranged on top of you like you're a fcuking possum!!