Michael Jackson... gone

This feels like a time-sensitive entry, mainly because the likes of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Jermaine Jackson and tabloid journalists who have seen their day, back in MJ's heyday, are poised to take their positions in front of the cameras.

I could go on and on about how Michael Jackson changed my life, in terms of opening that part of me that needed to absorb and observe anything and everything that could be inspiring or the basis for creativity on one's own terms, but I won't. I think that the main reason why I am sad is because, for 20+ years of my life, Michael Jackson represented excellence, unwavering focus, and although it's cheesy to say but - magic too. As an 80s kid, I remember the anticipation for anything that man did - even the Pepsi commercials, which the adult me would say was overblown, were huge events. With all honestly, if any of today's artists tried to do the things that MJ did in the 80s and 90s now, it would look beyond ridiculous because they can't back it up. Michael Jackson could and did.

I think about why he died. Yes, the vultures are getting in line to tell us why i.e. prescription drugs, but that's 'cause of death'. To be honest, I can see him whipping himself into a frenzy trying to top his previous glories, and quite frankly, the thought of that makes me sad. Michael Jackson, not half-@$$ing it, would've been enough... to his fans. Naturally, there are hoards of critics (read: failures) who were likely creaming themselves to continue taking him down a peg. Just look at Britney Spears - the relief about her getting back on track was short-lived. Critics couldn't wait to write and talk about what was wrong instead of focusing on what was right. I have doubts that the critics would have factored in Michael's age, his time off from performing, and his objectives for the tour.

This is a morbid thing to say but I always thought that Michael would be the first Jackson sibling to go. Despite the wide age gap between he and Jackie and Tito, there was something about Michael that screamed 'not living to old age'. Maybe it was because he did so much heavy lifting, where his family was concerned, it just seemed too overwhelming for one person, especially for someone with a fragile disposition. It would've been nice if the majority of his siblings would have carried the load instead of adding to it, but it's too late to change that. It would've been perfection if his parents relieved his burdens as well - and not pepper their extremely vulnerable child with heaping helpings of self-doubt and self-loathing. My hope is that Janet will assert herself against her family because there is no doubt that they are sizing her up as their next potential crutch.

So... how should Michael Jackson be remembered? I guess it depends on the individual. As a child who was molested, the molestation accusations derailed me, not necessarily because I thought he was guilty, but because some people with their own agendas (read: the Jackson family) tried to say that it was impossible. Any child in that moment and space where a parent, family friend, sibling, or trusted individual shifts their priorities and attempts an act that could monumentally alter a child, knows that it is very possible. The audacity of that mindset was what tainted my perception of Michael Jackson - not any instinctual vibe I got from the accusations themselves. Personally, I will remember how he didn't ration out his gifts. He gave out... thoroughly and consistently and this a rare quality among today's artists. I will miss the fun and the anticipation. I will miss the bell-like quality to his voice evident in the slower tempo songs, especially when he was a little kid. So beautiful and uncompromising - you hear that quality in his later works, especially in the often overlooked 'Be Not Always' from the Jackson's Victory album.

The videos I posted, specifically a fan video featuring MJ's performance of Music and Me and the end credits of Smooth Criminal featuring Ladysmith Black Mambazo, seems like an appropriate and respectful tribute to MJ. Hope you will enjoy.