It was inevitable. Jermaine Jackson began his lap of the Self-Serving tour on morning shows and Larry King Thursday and frankly, nothing he said or did really surprised me. I'll will get to him, but first, I have a question: What is with the View b*tches, present and past, trying to manipulate the hearts and minds of American women? Because men aren't susceptible to this level of pantload nor would any station director or talk show producer allow this level of blatant indoctrination of outright lies for a male-dominated audience.
First... the grand dame of pantload... Barbara fcuking Walters. Last week, Barbara Walter's sitdown interview with Ryan O'Neal was heavily promoted... until Michael Jackson passed away. But we were treated to leaks of the O'Neal interview, specifically the clip in which Ryan revealed that Farrah finally agreed to marry him. Sadly... sniff, sniff... Farrah died before the wedding could happen. But an interesting thing happened - after Farrah's memorial service, Ryan was spotted kissing some blonde chick in the back seat of a limo and it wasn't a simple peck. Inside Edition was the only show that played the clip; elsewhere, there was a complete blackout. Granted, I never thought that if Ryan and Farrah married at the end that he would be a respectful widower, but he was making out with another chick within hours of burying her. So, yet again, Barbara Walters tried to guide women viewers into believing in propoganda based on a manipulative, crappy movie from the 1970s, just because both the movie and Farrah's sad situation co-starred Ryan O'Neal. Ryan O'Neal was a selfish @$$hole then; he's an @$$hole now.
Next... Meredith Vieira talking up Jermaine Jackson, specifically, how he was very emotional about Michael's passing just because he was crying.
Sniff!
Okay... I made a lot about how Joe Jackson's presence at the BET Awards and the Monday press conference, with his record company smattered throughout his attempt to serve as representive for the Jackson family, during this trying time, was the height of insensitivity and self-interest. But at least he kept the self-promotion to a minimum. Jermaine Jackson, on the other hand, made the most of his screen time by product-placing nearly every aspect of the Jackson family mythology in his 'conversations' with the press. His announcement about Michael's death was a precursor: my brother, King of Pop, Allah.
During his interviews with Matt Lauer and Larry King, Jermaine hit on the same beats he used for years. Here's an abbreviated list, given that I had no desire to look at him or hear that affected soft reassuring tone in his voice, because seriously, I could dropkick him:
- The quintessential "We are a family." Or the incessant use of 'family' when the conversation had nothing to do with them. (And I guess he didn't remember how those fcukers in Dreamgirls sang 'We Are a Family' to Effie before that shanked her.)
- Namedropping of family members, especially his children (Jermagesty... seriously, Pecker!!)
- How he, Michael and the rest of the Jackson children were raised with love and morality (and routine beatings which wasn't mentioned)
- Plugging Allah and referring to his conversion to Islam
- Talking about a prospective family tour, including Janet, after Michael finished the This Is It tour (nevermind that Michael said at the press conference that this was really it for him - guess Jermaine didn't get that memo or Michael didn't get another directive from Jermaine about his obligation to 'the family')
- Reciting specific Michael Jackson-penned lyrics (Childhood and Man in the Mirror) - actually, he sort of performed them, since Michael couldn't do it, obviously
- Jermaine insisted that he and Michael were the lead singers of the Jackson 5... really, dude? Because while I do know that you did some lead vocals on some songs (Daddy's Home, I Am Love, etc.), Michael was the one who sung the majority of the songs for the group. And his songs were the more memorable and successful of the hits.
- Jermaine also mentioned that Michael should be buried at Neverland and that he, Jermaine himself, would like to live at Neverland Ranch... why, dude? Your @$$ didn't live there when Michael was alive, so what makes you think that it's Michael's final wish to not only be buried there, but have your famewhoring @$$ squatting on the property that his personal success created and funded?
- Phrasing Michael's death as 'losing an original member of the Jackson 5'... err, dude, it goes beyond that. Michael was the voice, energy and vibrance of the whole group. When your @$$ stayed with Motown, while the rest of the brothers moved to Epic, they still enjoyed some success because the group still had the voice, energy and vibrance. Me thinks that you are laying the groundwork to reconfigure the group, with possibly, some of your own kids. Good luck with that
- And finally, the most galling thing that came out of that pecker's mouth. In that soft, affected, earnest tone, he said that "The world wasn't ready for Michael." And an addendum... that reticience was the reason for the cruelty towards Michael.
THE HELL THE WORLD WASN'T!!!!
For over 30 years, people drank in Michael's brilliance and relished it; then things happened that couldn't be ignored. You couldn't ignore some things either, Jermaine. Remember "Word to the Badd", Jermaine? You got bent out of shape because Michael's popularity reached a level you couldn't conceptualize. You also took ombrage to the things that he was doing to himself physically, i.e. the plastic surgeries. But instead of going to him in private and being persistent if he refused to listen to you, you decided to recruit LA Reid, Babyface, and Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes to right the infamous diss song. For your upcoming record... at the time. Around the time of your brother's success with Bad.
That was cruelty, Jermaine. Essentially, you joined the chorus of a disaffected segment of the population who didn't give a damn how Michael felt about anything. You, the so-called, spokesperson of the family, slammed your brother for being successful and concentrating on his career, a move you attempted when you opted to stay with Motown back in the 70s? We saw that, like Joe, you prefer for Michael to measure himself to your own particular yardstick; I'm sure that was nice to swallow.
So, above, here's a video of when Michael danced to Jermaine's tune, fresh off of Michael's success with Thriller, for the benefit of Jermaine's album. And below, here's an example of Jermaine's wrath when Little Brother didn't throw Big Brother a bone, during the Bad period.
And Big Brother... have a little talk with Little Brother Randy... and preferably without one of the kids you fathered with his ex bouncing on your knee. Oh... wait... this particular brand of family business isn't camera-friendly or essential to 'the family' bottom line.
Suck it, ho!!!
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