Mad Men - Joan plays the accordian?

But first...

Peggy smoking pot? Slow down, honey. And BTW... keep the new secretary. I like her. She seems genuinely concerned about Peggy, unlike Peggy's family, who lurked and waited to heap more 'Catholic guilt' at her. And please, Peggy... don't fcuk anymore dudes, especially Kinsey's pusher friend. He's cute, but a bit too slick.

Last night's episode of Mad Men was pretty interesting. The writers seemed to play with the class/social hierarchy at Sterling Cooper, as demonstrated by who were invited to Roger and Jane's garden party and who weren't. And it was kinda curious that Cosgrove came to the party on his own. Mind you, he may not date women who would blend in with the crowd that Roger was interested in cultivating; but then again, Cosgrove may not date women at all. Wouldn't it be awesome if Sal's gaydar was on point, where Cosgrove is concerned? Not that Sal would do anything about it... yet. Also interesting were how, at any given moment, one of the three couples (the Drapers, the Cranes, and the Campbells) who 'hanged out' at the party were the odd couple out: the Campbells, when Betty and Jennifer talked about their pregnancies; the Cranes, when they were unable to blend in with the rest of the guests; and the Drapers, when they were singled out publicly about their troubled marriage. None of these couples seemed to belong there completely and seamlessly, although the same can be said for Roger's wife, Jane.

Does the girl have a drinking problem already? Also, did she inherit formerly frumpy Mona's wardrobe after the divorce? And what is with her alleged weight loss? Was that supposed to be a dig at Joan?

Speaking of Joan... I can totally see her fcuking Roger out of spite... and maybe for fun. Her marriage is not going well at all. She and Doctor Rapist argue incessantly and apparently, Doctor Rapist is a sucky doctor. It doesn't look likely that she will be leaving Sterling Cooper anytime, but then again, does she really want to? Is her constant mentioning of her impending departure something she thinks she should say, much less, think she should look forward to? Because I think that Joan's hunger can't be satisfied by becoming a lady of the manor. I think she likes being in control of the office - she's obviously good at spotting the nuances and anticipating necessary measures. The woman is smart, which is why she is the office manager and a thoroughly successful sex bomb. And yes, it was awesome how she went after Doctor Rapist. It's good to know that his bull$h*t hasn't extinguished her fire.

And I have to say... Joan's accordion playing and singing was pretty impressive. Hell, Christina Hendricks can even make accordions sexy.

Bold and the Beautiful = Best Daytime Drama?

Well, according to the Daytime Emmys...

Don't get me wrong... Bold and the Beautiful had me glued to my seat, watching and listening to it, especially the episodes during and after Phoebe's death, along with the grotesque Steffy/Rick relationship. And I loved Stephanie getting fired from Forrester and how the company is falling apart in her wake...

But Best Daytime Drama?

I've complained about how some of the storylines, and especially, some of the characters' logic were completely baffling and I still stand by it, hence the lack of B & B posts. I just can't stand B & B right now - the Brooke/Ridge/Taylor triangle (again!), the Jackie/Owen storyline (yawn!) and the fact that Whip is supposedly a great PR person, and yet, he cranks out the cheesiest photo layouts of Jackie?

B & B doesn't make sense right now, which makes their win at the Daytime Emmys even more mind-boggling.

Mad Men - Is Peggy getting her groove back?

This week's Mad Men episode was a quiet episode; however it was pretty effective. But first...

The Drapers
Don and Betty's marriage is still pretty shaky, despite Betty's pregnancy. If anything, Betty's passive aggression has improved markedly since her pregnancy. Still... I can't understand why she insisted that her father move in - she can barely keep her household running right, even with the assist of a part-time housekeeper. Handling two children whom she clearly don't like, caring for a newborn, and now a senile old dude who's prone to groping her during his 'spells' - this could be a recipe for disaster... assuming that Don will continue to stand for it. Mind you, it was kinda awesome how he handled Betty's brother - Don can be very imposing and scary when the need arises. I think back on the episode when his half-brother found him - I was so convinced that Don was going to pull out a gun, instead of all of that cash.

The Sterlings
I was so relieved to see that Mona would still be on the scene and she made a pretty good impression. She looked decidedly more chic post divorce and dare I say... younger? While married to Roger, she seemed frumpier and more constrained, probably because she was married to Roger. Judging from her attitude, clothing, and Roger's insistence that he has to win the Jane goes to Margaret's wedding battle, I have to assume that Roger lost huge in the divorce. I hope so, because he was such a douche about the whole thing - pinning the blame on Don? Come on, dude. Anyway, I hope that Mona will be able to peep game and shank Roger when it's socially permissable i.e. not in front of Margaret, although I get the feeling that Margaret would want dibs. And since Roger is a bit of a freak and very much douche, he would probably get really turned on if Mona delivers some home truths, with a side of ice.

Plus, I can't stand Jane. She overstepped on Joan's turf i.e. the office and completely got away with it... for now. But I kinda got the feeling that Roger's pecker will resume its usual roaming soon and it will find its way to Joan. While she is married, a fcukup by her husband, Doctor Rapist, could make Joan very receptive to a hookup. Yes, doing it with Roger goes in the selling oneself short column, it would fcuk with Jane's head.

Now Peggy...
I find that any show that inserts a female film icon of that day into the plot usually ends up being an episode that stays with me. The female icon in this episode was Ann-Margret, specifically her turn in Bye, Bye Birdie. When Peggy summed it up as a 25 year old playing a 14 year old, I had to smile a little bit, because that's exactly how the men of Sterling Cooper expect every woman to act, despite knowing that the dirty that they perpetrate on these women can fundamentally change them. Peggy is a prime example.

Sure, the pregnancy changed Peggy to the core, but Pete's rejection of her after she landed the Belle Jolie campaign was the first real death blow. She was twisting and dancing, like a teenybopper, and Pete was so brutally cold and cruel towards her, just because he was jealous of her talent and potential. The tears that rolled down Peggy's face - and yet, she continued dancing. On Sunday's episode, Peggy tried to step up her efforts to rejoin the world by picking up some random dude that she will likely not call again. If anything, it was a test run, possibly motivated by Joan. Peggy watched how Joan masterfully handled the leering glances of potential Sterling Cooper clients and was playful while doing it. Given how Joan knew to send Peggy to the gyno on her first day of work hints at how many lessons she learned during her years at Sterling Cooper. We continue to see Joan experience disappointments and yet, she abides and sometimes, she gets even. Peggy's problems are a little more complicated, but she should continue to observe Joan, because despite the acquaintance rape at the hands of her then-fiance, Joan is probably the only female character who is nearly in charge of her own sexuality.

Besides... Peggy should get a firmer grasp on when to have sex and be very selective about who she does it with.

Because Pete... HUGE MISTAKE!!

Chloe is why the dating scene needs a RECALL system

I'm very annoyed with Chloe right now, but first...

Paul Williams has got to be the best big brother ever! The way he has Patty's back, without fail, is unbelievably attractive, which further proves that there really aren't any smart women in Genoa City. Paul is a keeper and yet, he's always on the loose. Stupid women... although they will never be as dumb as the women of Passions. Thank goodness that soap's toast.

And Victor Newman has got to be the biggest c*ck ever. Not only did he put doubting words into Nikki's ear, for no other reason than the fact that he could (and it would work), he is knowingly compromising his daughter's marriage just to cover his own @$$. The Moustache needs to stop being such a pube and man up; if he was man enough to set the Mary Jane/Patty debacle into motion, he should be man enough to admit it. It's ridiculous that Paul and Jack are the ones trying to clean this up.

Now to Chloe... Billy must be good with the c*ck in order for her to junk the hotness that is Hot Chance. While I hope that the writers will continue to keep Chance smart, I hate that they are making Chloe dumb. Billy is not worth fighting for, period. His hesitation about signing the papers had little to do with any love towards Chloe; if anything, it was all about what Chloe did for him, and sorry, that's not good enough or at least, it shouldn't be good enough for Chloe. And potentially d*cking around with Hot Chance's feelings is absolutely unacceptable, especially when it's in the service of getting b*tchwad Billy back.

However, there is some hope for Hot Chance; while Chloe is getting smacked in the face by reality and Billy's fickleness, Chance can explore other options - for example, Heather. She's been scrappy lately and most definitely smarter than most of the Genoa City women. Let's see if she's smart enough to get a whiff of Hot Chance.

This $h*t better not be true!!!

It's Wednesday, therefore there is a perfect storm of tabloid stories. But the one that jumped out at me was the possible Jennifer Aniston/Tina Fey Emmy catfight, courtesy of RadarOnline. While this story seem bogus, there are some things about Aniston which makes me not dismiss the story outright.

First, her tendency to slam other women. Sarah Jessica Parker has been an ongoing target of this b*tch's ire, citing that Sex and the City was all about looking for and getting men, which, first of all wasn't entirely true (expensive shoes and clothes, hanging with friends, careers, and serious contemplations were among the show's signature storylines); and secondly, wasn't Rachel Greene's sole purpose in life loving/emotionally torturing vulnerable Ross? Seems to me, Carrie Bradshaw had the leg up on Rachel, given that she was ions more complicated than Rachel. Barbara Steisand was another unsuspecting woman who found herself in ___'s crosshairs, which coincidentally, happened around the time when Aniston rocked super long straight hair, much like Steisand's in What's Up Doc? Given that Aniston was oh so traumatized by being called plain, funny-looking, and unpretty, why would she hurl the same 'comments' at Steisand? Maybe she was sore because people moved away from the What's Up, Doc? comparison and onto The Way We Were, where Steisand's Katie was ditched by Redford's golden boy, Hubbel, who happened to bear a resemblance to ex-husband/dreamboat Brad Pitt. At any rate, Jennifer Aniston doesn't play well with other women who can outshine her.

But would she be willing to shoot herself in the foot by appearing ungrateful? Oh, absolutely! She was Heigl before Heigl was Heigl, when she pissed and moaned about the director of Rumor Has It until dude was fired and then continued to trash the movie during and after the film's premiere. She allowed her self-produced film, Management, to die on the vine, because the poor me press didn't translate into box office dollars. And there is that never taking her share of the responsibility for failure thing.

Now, it's important to say that the category that both women are nominated in is presented at the Creative Arts Emmy, which happens a week before the Primetime Emmys; therefore, it wouldn't be worth anyone's while to make a scene about the competition. It's also important to note that while Aniston can seem dumber than a box of rocks, her committing such a huge public faux pas towards another woman, who happens to be one of the most sought-after writing/comedic talents in HW, especially when she's trying to convince the public that she's an imminent power player, seems far-fetched.

But then again, there is that ongoing conversation, via pap shots and magazine covers, about how viable/sexy/desirable she really is among the HW male contingent... which few people are really buying.

Just make a full-blown Madea movie, already!!!!

Brace yourselves, folks.

Another Tyler Perry movie is on its way to the theaters. Seems like the dude brings at least two feature films to the theaters each year, which would be an amazing feat... if they weren't the same exact fcuking movie.

A bitter, disenchanted single BLACK woman who finds redemption in the arms of an understanding good BLACK man. Mind you, the male lead in I Can Do Bad All By Myself may be Latino/HispanicAfro-Cuban - I guess Tyler wanted to 'shake things up'.

It's getting pretty tired... SERIOUSLY. This dude doesn't not know anything about Black women. He says that he loves them and maybe, he really does, but he doesn't know about our complexity, nor does he care to find out. He makes money; his @$$ is parked on Oprah's couch as often as Jennifer Aniston, so life is good and his films are just 'good enough'.

Yes, I know that he co-produced Precious, which is getting some early Oscar buzz, but dude didn't write it nor did he direct it. Dude is simply not interested in improving in any avenue of his so-called talent - the money is pouring in... all is good.

Maybe he should crack open a book about film history or something - maybe he would realize that he should skip the tired retreads and just make a full-blown Madea movie. Just look at the Marx Brothers - their best films were Duck Soup and Horse Feathers, because the boring, 'straight' storyline was removed. Perry says that being in the Madea drag is grueling to go through - well, so are your fcuking movies, Tyler!!

Seriously, dude, it's time to step things up because the idea of you being the first and last word in current contemporary Black film would be a depressing thought, indeed.

Santa Barbara 25 - Keith

Within the next few weeks, Guiding Light will be winding down. The idea of this gives me mixed emotions - rage, because, yet again, the people responsible for network daytime programming continues to disregard their viewers and the traditions their soap operas represent. I'm still debating whether to watch the last remaining weeks of Guiding Light, since it will bring back memories of Santa Barbara and Another World's cancellations; but Guiding Light was the soap I turned to when Santa Barbara was gone.

In the months leading to my acclimation to Guiding Light, I remember reading in Soap Opera Digest that Justin Deas was joining the cast. I remember telling GL loyalists that Justin's presence will add to GL; eventually they saw that and relished his portrayal of Buzz Cooper.

Deas' energy, unpredictability, and intensity, with a side of humor, punctuate every role he took on - never more so than in his role as Keith Timmons. Keith Timmons was a weasel - ambitious, cunning, greedy and horny. While my favorite Keith moments involve Gina, I decided to post a clip of Keith actually doing his job, and dude was kinda ruthless. This is during the Elena Nikolaus trial and he's really giving Eden the business, which doesn't go done too smoothly for Cruz.



Hopefully, the SB clips in the coming weeks will showcase both Justin Deas and Robin Wright's best moments, given that both are on the cusp of career-changing events.

Y & R - Where are the smart women?

But first... Chloe and Billy will fall into bed again. The way they were sniping at each other at probably, the worst first date ever, which became a double date, they will end up in bed. They like the drama, especially Billy, and although he likes himself with Mac, he will c*ck that up. Meanwhile, Hot Chance seems to be extricating himself from the situation until after it happens. But Hot Chance will keep his eyes on things and I will keep an eye on him. YUM!

And Doug Davidson's acting when Paul realized that Mary Jane was his Pattycake - absolutely priceless. As I mentioned before, I remember Patty from about 30 years ago and her relationship with Paul; he was very loving back then, which made his reaction to all of Patty/Mary Jane's misdeeds all the more real. Good job, dude!

Speaking of Paul, where the fcuk is Nikki? Yes, we know that Ashley mowed her down and Adam can't see sh*t, therefore he can't spot a body, but theoretically, the Newman ranch is patrolled routinely by the security. Why hasn't anyone found her yet? Seriously, if she's injured, gangrene would've set in by now and birds of prey would be buffeting right about now.

Now to the dumb@ssed women of Y & R women...

Actually, I fast-forward through Ashley's scenes because I can't take her stupidity in clinging to Adam for 'support'. For fcuk sakes... where are your gut instincts?!

And Amber's scenes too... just once, I would love for a woman who's being blackmailed to bust a cap in the extortionist's @ss.

Now to Victoria... fcuking stupid @ss b!tch!!! She got mad at JT for getting kissed by Colleen, so she decided to cheat with Deacon?! DEACON SHARP?!!! FCUKING DEACON SHARP!!!!!!!!!! That fcuker's fertile, Victoria - ask Brooke Logan!! And the actress portraying Victoria, Amelia something, is pregnant in real life, so it's looking like Victoria is fcuked!

Man... Y & R is making my head hurt.

Dug up some Tom Snyder - Robert Blake action

While this clip isn't of Blake telling his Steve McQueen, this does illustrate how mesmerizing Robert Blake can be... and a little bat$h*t crazy too.

He explains sane versus insane:



Damn... I miss Tom Snyder!

Why two times should be the standard

A few years ago, I attended my alma mater's annual film festival. In attendence was a world reknown female film critic, whose only purpose for being there was to plug her new book. The festival's director encouraged me to attend one of the critic's seminars, since I was, obviously, a female, and as a bid of support to another woman who made it. I didn't go and kinda felt guilty about it, given that I had a lot of respect for the film festival director; however, the film critic justified what my gut was telling me.

After a screening, the critic was loitering outside of the auditorium, holding court, essentially, with fellow film goers anxious to hear her observations. She, rather disingenuously, asked me about how I felt about movies, in general; I answered that I have to see a movie twice to know whether I liked it. And she made a face. Yes, she was rude when she did that, but it also illustrated how jaded she became. While I was a newbie when it came to film studies, and followed the example set by my first film studies professor, Bill Vincent, I've already realized that multiple viewings of certain films are absolutely mandatory. I always cite Dangerous Liaisons as an example, but Rainman (loved it), and Ghost (HATED IT) are also definitive examples of this practice.

Benjamin Button was, absolutely, the film that I viewed the most in theaters, because there was so much richness within the story and within its subtext. And this weekend, Inglourious Basterds has proven to be another film where it is necessary to view multiple times in order to recognize the true genius of it. Putting aside my disdain for Tarantino (because he's a loud-mouthed douche), he did put together a movie which calls upon its viewers to be fully engaged in what is really going on beneath the surface. Sure, there will be fanboys complaining that there were too many subtitles and not enough violence, which I somewhat agree with, but this film should not be easily written off.

I would advise moviegoers to go see the movie just to get an idea of what's happening, and then see it again and pay attention to what's not being said. It's a difficult task, since Tarantino seems to wants his dialogue to outshine his actors (very long subtitles - get ready for them), but it's well worth the effort. And similar to Benjamine Button, this movie makes you want to crack open a book in order to connect some dots. For example, Goebbels became incensed when Lilian Harvey was mentioned during the tour of Emmanualle's cinema; according to Wiki, although she was part German and enjoyed a loyal following in Germany, she refused to give up her Jewish colleagues to the Gestapo and flagrantly entertained the French troops, which resulted in her German citizenship being revoked. Other references to the movie needs additional research such as G.W. Pabst. Although I've seen Pandora's Box and Diary of a Lost Girl and have read Wiki's take on his career before, during and after Nazi occupation, I do need to know whether Shoshanna's willingness to include his name on the marquee had any significance to her.

Now to the fun part - what I liked about the movie.

• The swatzika-carvings - As a Black American, I get pretty d@mn tired of old White farts being revealed as Grand Wizards and other foot soldiers of home-grown American fascists, as well as ex-SS officers, responsible for brutalities and murders against innocent citizens. So while it wasn't appetizing to watch, it was an excellent stroke to carve swatzikas on the foreheads of the surviving German soldiers. It would be nice if crosses were branded onto the foreheads of our out of control fascist douchebags, since they seemed to like flaming crosses so much, but unfortunately, Jim Crow and the complacency of the so-called good Americans, stacked the deck in the douchebags' favor.

• The illusion of cordiality - The Germans' attempt to be cordial and social, in so-called 'typical' circumstances, amped up the tension. It was clear when people like Monsieur Lapadite and Shoshanna/Emmanuelle, were called up to be cordial, although the Germans made it clear that a negative response or rejection of advance would not be acknowledged. And personally, if Fredrick Zoller's 'ignorance' of Shoshanna's contempt of him was any indication of typical Nazi mindset, it must've been an incredibly frustrating environment to live in, especially for women.

• Shoshanna's death - While I was totally onboard with her plan to incinerate with the rest of the trapped German higher-ups, I think her meeting her end, in a hail of bullets, was the proper way for her to go out. Her family died that way and at least, Shoshanna had the chance to drag the pesky Fredrick Zoller, to the grave too. Seriously, I couldn't stand that dude; few things are more annoying than a dude feigning cluelessness, especially when a woman gives mad vibe that she doesn't want anything to do with him.

• Bridget von Hammersmarks' look - Before hell broke loose in the basement tavern, Bridget von Hammersmark was the picture of 40s glamour. That chick was sharp as a tack! And the shoes, which eventually became her undoing, were fantastic. I prefer the heels of the 30s and 40s - they're low, by today's standards, and yet, they made the legs of every woman who wore them look more beautiful.

• Lt. Aldo Raine - Brad Pitt, at 45, seems more comfortable in his own skin than during any previous period of his film career. His Tenessee accent was hilarious, and the fact that his Aldo didn't give a $h*t about sticking out like a sore thumb (Italian stuntman, indeed!) made him even more endearing. I am intrigued about the rope burn around his neck, though. In the weeks leading to IB's premiere, I looked up lynchings and the possible circumstances that could lead a White man to a predicament that many unfortunate Black people found themselves in. He mentioned moonshine - but according to Wiki, White men could face lynching if they stole something; if they posed a threat to someone else's economic/financial well-being; or violated the Jim Crow status quo, i.e. engaging in miscegnation. Whatever he did, I am even more curious at how he got out of the noose and who wounded in the grave intended for him, because I get the feeling that there was a body count.

• Hans Landa - Christoph Waltz's Hans Landa was a twerp in jack boots; but with the back-up of the SS, he was a cloying, murderous, cunning sack of $h*t. I'm still trying to figure out if Landa knew he was having strudel with Shoshanna. His insistence that Shoshanna/Emmanuelle wait for the cream seemed to be a test in order to detect if she was 'Jewish'. Emmanuelle seemed to make a big show of putting a large dollop of the cream on her strudel and swallowing it enthusiastically. If Landa knew Emmanuelle was Shoshanna, did he derive a great pleasure in her eating something that was likely not kosher? Would that validate his belief that humans are capable of anything when they truly lost all of their dignity? And why kill Bridget but spare Shoshanna - because he didn't expect Shoshanna to do the damage that she would ultimately do?

• Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz - Man, that Til Schweiger is one handsome sonofabitch, but he was also scary as hell as Hugo. Hugo was stewing, big time, and the flashback of him getting lashed, may have played a role in his demeanor. But I also wondered whether the SS officers that he killed committed or attempted to commit some kind of misconduct against him. He seemed to kill quite a few while they were in bed - I wonder, with his incredible good looks, they tried to pull some Brokeback business on him.

Now some questions:

• It's clear that Monsieur LaPadite's blonde daughter, Charlotte, was the one who sold the Dreyfuses out (this is based on the fact that she was the first LaPadite daughter he approached once he invited himself into the house). Why would she betray her father and the Dreyfuses like that? Did Shoshanna ever find out about this and exacted some sort of revenge? Was Shoshanna/Emmanuelle's blonde hair natural or a reminder of Charlotte's betrayal?

• Given that Tarantino admitted that Don Donowitz was the grandfather of one of his characters in True Romance, was he the one person who made it out of the theater, via an explosion? Initially, I thought the scream was that of a woman, but the form of the flaming person flying out of the engulfed cinema, looked male. And presumably, while Don was in the lobby, he removed the bomb attached to his leg, because only one of the three bombs the Basterds had was attached to a man's leg.

• Was this film as much of an indictment against the Nazi sympathizers as the Nazis themselves? Because Francesca Mondino's relationship with Goebbels seemed relunctant, initially, but when he was moved by Hitler's approval, she seemed to comfort him. And given how she was seeming obliterated by the Basterds' machine gun fire, I have to wonder if the wrath was even more intense towards her like?

• Clearly, Fredrick Zoller was supposed to be Germany's equivalent to Audie Murphy, although Murphy's career probably jumped off well after Zoller's subsequent death. Was Zoller's aw-shucks advances toward Emmanuelle/Shoshanna indicative of his true personality or was it the nasty, aggressive attitude that got him shot?

• How did Shoshanna really get possession of that theater? Did she really work for the Mimieux? Did they really die the way Emmanuelle described or did they discover she was Jewish and Emmanuelle/Shoshanna and Marcel had to take care of them permanently?

• Why would the British send Lt. Archie Hicox into the thick of Operation Kino when he was, clearly, not prepared? He didn't have an appropriate accent; he wasn't aware of the German culture, i.e. the 3 fingers and whether an officer can tell another officer to step off when a woman is present? Was this due to arrogance, since the British may not have thought it necessary to be knowledgable about the Germans? Or was it just time constraints?

No doubt I will have more questions, since Inglourious Basterds begs to be watched multiple times, but for now, I'm thinking.

Santa Barbara 25 - Jade

One of my favorite characters during the early years of Santa Barbara was Jade Perkins.

It wasn't because her character was particularly interesting or a part of an interesting storyline; it was because of the actress portraying Jade - Melissa Brennan (Reeves).

Melissa Brennan, despite her brief time on Santa Barbara, demonstrated a lot of promise. While she seemed really green, in terms of her acting, her energy and sparkling personality shined through. She made Jade into a starry-eyed, flirty, ambitious, social climbing, wannabe movie star. Although she feigned sophistication and worldliness, at her heart, she was a girl desperate for validation and an exit from the stigma of being a Perkins.

I remember being heartbroken when Melissa Brennan left Santa Barbara; but imagine my surprise when she resurfaced on Days of Our Lives as Jennifer Horton fairly quickly. Cast as a part of a Days core family? That was truly a major vote of confidence and Brennan lived up to and exceeded expectations, especially when she was eventually paired with Matthew Ashford's Jack Devereaux.

But back to Santa Barbara...

In my post regarding Ted, I mistakenly wrote that he was in Jade's romantic crosshairs. And while Jade was pretty flirty, it turned out that Warren Lockridge was the one she was trying to hook, while dangling Danny Andrade along. Here's a clip of Jade, giving Laken Lockridge a pep talk about her potential deflowering at the hands of Ted. We also get a whiff of the Warren/Danny rivalry for Jade's affections.

Guess he got his Steve McQueen story

So the internet is buzzing about Quentin Tarantino's current media campaign regarding hash... oops, I mean Inglourious Basterds.

Actually, the media campaign isn't about hash - it's about possibly receiving hash from Brad Pitt. And apparently, Inglourious Basterds is secondary, nevermind that was the only reason why Tarantino was in the Jolie-Pitts' orbit in the first place.

So the story is that while Quentin Tarantino was in France trying to entice Brad Pitt into being in Inglourious Basterds, the two got drunk and a smoking apparatus was introduced into the scenario. That was the story from a year ago -- and I'm pretty sure that Brad was the one who spoke of this, again, last year. Now, for some reason unbeknownst to anyone, Quentin Tarantino decided to take it upon himself to fill in the blanks. So far, Quentin has told us that five to six bottles of wine were drank that night. Then, he upped the ante by saying that something was most definitely smoked that night. Then, he said that Brad was the one who provided it, much to his shock and delight. Then he added that a pop can was used. Then he indicated that the smoke was a piece of hash from a brick. Then he implied that this happened while Brad's children were asleep.

Now tell me, was all of these tidbits designed to make Brad seem cool, because despite being a BP fan, this makes Brad seem careless, and quite frankly, a complete dope. And not just because this happened around the time of his twins' birth, but because Taratino is notorious for having a big mouth, especially when he thinks that it will benefit his image of himself.

Now... I personally had no issue with the initial story because Brad Pitt told it well. He allowed the audience to fill in the blanks. Tarantino, on the other hand, is not a good racounter. He's a fantastic storyteller cinematically, but when it comes to putting over a story, straight from his own mouth, he comes off as a spaz. In fact, I would say that Tarantino came off like a narc.

Tarantino's incessant need to come off as cool versus Brad Pitt exuding cool without really trying makes them polar opposites; therefore, Tarantino tries to co-opt Brad's cool - something that Tarantino doesn't wear well. Personally, I think that this current tangent has been in the making for the last 10+ years. The origin of this need for a seemingly cool story centering around him showed itself back in the 90s, specifically on the now-defunct David Letterman produced The Late Late Show w/Tom Snyder. This was an unusual show in that it was just Tom Snyder talking one-on-one with a Hollywood luminary for 20-30 minutes. Also, there were no rhyme or reason, in terms of whom were booked on the show; a celeb was rarely there to plug a project. Stars like Rosemary Clooney, Lauren Bacall, Tony Curtis and dozens of others, including politicians, scholars, etc. would, essentially, shoot the $h*t.

But one night, Tom had Robert Blake on the show. This was well before the Bonnie Lee Bakely sordidness. Dude smoked openly and regaled Tom with fantastically colorful stories, going back to his Our Gang days. But the story that stood out the most was about Steve McQueen. Blake claimed that back in the late 60s - early 70s, while he was taking a smoke break on a studio backlot, Steve McQueen came out of nowhere and was being chased down by a large group of men and that McQueen called on him to take up arms (read: get ahold of a gun) and help him scare these dudes off.

The way Blake told that story was masterful and mesmerizing. And eventually, when Tarantino sat down with Tom, he cited that story -- actually, he gushed like a fcuking fanboy. To me, that moment colored what Tarantino sought out as validation. He wanted to be the Robert Blake of the story and unfortunately for Brad, Tarantino decided to cast him as the Steve McQueen.

Too bad that Tarantino didn't take into account that McQueen was long dead when Blake brought the story out. Or that significant time had past. Or that, hello, Robert Blake may have made up the whole story altogether.

Tarantino got his Steve McQueen story; too bad that Tarantino is too oblivious to realize that it may have been to the detriment of Brad and his so-called masterpiece.

Fcuking loudmouthed douchebag!!

Mad Men - best high angle shot evah!!!

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The clowning continues?! Heather has possibilities

But first... Ashley.

For someone whose intelligence has been widely touted, her deducing that Estella was responsible for planting spy cams throughout the Newman mansion was the height of stupidity.

Seriously... Estella eats, drinks, walks and cr@ps ole school. Versus, say, Adam, who, despite his blindness, managed to pull up audio of Sabrina on his laptop and said audio managed to be piped into the living room where a mentally frazzled Ashley heard it, along with Victor. What is with these people? Can't they piece this $h*t together or is a Dora the Explorer 10 piece puzzle more their speed? And Victor is a total douche for trying to handle this Mary Jane situation on his own. Didn't he learn from his encounter with Tricia that bat$h*t b*tches are beyond his level of expertise?

And Sharon even debating going into a mental hospital versus jail? Gimme a break! She needs a time-out just she can get a handle over her sniveling. She made the decision to play the self-sacrificing damsel -- see it through, with the minimum of fuss and muss. And BTW... Nick is so not worth all of this angst.

Now to the one blonde who is improving the ranks... Heather. The way that chick came into Crimson Lights for her meeting with Rafe... priceless. While I question why she even attempted to meet up with the dude who bagged her boyfriend for 'shop talk', I'm glad it happened. Rafe is a nice guy and all but he knew that there was still some involvement between Adam and Heather - dude should've expected to get clawed. And Baby Gurl kinda got loud... OUT IN THE OPEN!! Kinda gangsta, especially for Genoa City, as of late. Later, Heather was kinda puddly, which is understandable, but I have a feeling that the clown isn't out of her system. And my hope is that Krusty, or Bozzo, or Lunette makes an appearance just when Adam's misdeeds come to light.

Now, if only the clowning was catching. Or if Heather and Roxie ran in the same d@mn circles, because that mess, with Roxie tipping out of Devon's apartment after catching him and Tyra getting down on the couch... WTF!!

She didn't utter a word.

Not a single syllable.

Just tiptoed out of the apartment. Errr... Devon is your boyfriend... right, Roxie? Because in real world, Roxie would've given him something more than some privacy.

Here's some advice, Roxie... if you open your mouth and say something, the engorging stops. The ripping off of clothes stop. The kissing, panting and pre-sex flushing stop.

Then the co-ed @$$-kicking can start.

A blast from the past

Got a case of the giggles today.

After pouring over the Brad and Angelina videos/photos and reading comments about Brad's mustache, this popped into my head.

Santa Barbara 25 - CC and Sophia and a little extra

Although I said that I don't share reverence towards this couple as the other high-profile couples of Santa Barbara, no way would I completely ignore CC and Sophia. While I didn't appreciate the unnecessary drama between these two, at least a lot of it happened off-camera, unlike the Victor and Nikki and Josh and Revas of soapdom. Plus, Jed Allan and Judith McConnell were fantastic actors and brought a lot to the Santa Barbara landscape.

So here's a clip of CC and Sophia, seemingly during one of their many reconciliations - they're actually kinda cute here and have good chemistry together. Plus, one of my favorite characters, Pearl, is in this clip. Sadly, the SB writers didn't nearly give him enough to do and his attempted relationship with Kelly didn't generated much heat. Still... Pearl rocked! And I hope to find more Pearl clips, along with Kirk Cranston clips, on You Tube.



And as a chaser, I decided to include a fan video featuring Mason and Julia during their early days of parenthood. It's kinda funny and cute.

A long overdue Y & R round-up

First of all, I have to say that Friday's episode in which Nikki called off her marriage to Paul, was a pretty good episode. Although I hated that Nikki broke Paul's heart, essentially because Victor put a bug in her ear, at least the gravity of her decision felt authentic. Paul was a fantastic friend to her and he clearly adored her, but I still felt that that she was genuine when she said that she didn't want Paul to settle. This exchange also added to Nick and Victoria's conversation about their respective marriages; mind you, Nick is a dip$h*t for ping-ponging between Phyllis and Sharon. Still, I liked that he seem to have Nikki's back by fully supporting her impending marriage. And Victoria -- well, Victoria needs to wake up and smell the coffee. How she can see Victor and Nikki's relationship through such a romantic lenses doesn't jibe with Victoria's so-called savvy. And she needs to keep an eye on her marriage to JT because Victor isn't above putting a bug in her ear either.

As for Ashley... she's beginning to get on my nerves. First, she allowed Adam to convince her to ignore her instincts regarding her fall/miscarriage; now, she has given Adam free reign to continually d*ck around with her mind. I just want this whole fcuking storyline to be over and for Adam to get his... although, that little bit of comeuppance that he got on Friday was pretty sweet. Nikki slipping Paul a note about Adam being gay and getting caught (by Nikki) making out with Rafe was pretty awesome. Not only did it reiterate how deeply Nikki really cared for Paul and his, namely his daughter Heather, it gave Adam something else to do, besides eavesdropping other people's conversations. Heather confronting him and not giving an inch was enjoyable to watch. My hope is that Heather won't let this matter lie, despite dumping Adam. The initial clowning was cool, but there should be some more. Please?

As for hot Chance... bide your time, your Hotness. Let Chloe's heart break completely and pick them up, but don't be a tacky scavenger about it. And frankly, I didn't like the way Mac broke the news about she and Billy to Chloe. It was wholly unnecessary and very b*tchy. As if it was a total imposition to have Hot Chance shoved down one's throat... come on! And what was with the 'You lost' cr@p? If Mac can't see that Chloe's feelings for Billy was really genuine, then she needs to sit her @$$ down and stop trying to be Glinda the Good.

Now... to Hot Chance. I like lingering on Hot Chance. However, I am concerned that Nina will interfere with he and Chloe, which is somewhat understandable. Hot Chance is a catch, no doubt, but I think that when Chloe wakes up, she will appreciate him.

Hot Chance... yum!!!

Must've seen Brad palming Angelina's onion

I am pro-Brad and Angelina.

All the way.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of money to be made 'not liking' this couple. And a lot of ratings too.

I continue to monitor gossip segments on radio morning shows, along with keeping an eye on ABC World News Now, because they, most definitely, profit when they spread negative JP news.

I slept through World News Now this morning; therefore, I can't say whether the snide anchors acknowledged the pair's appearance at the Inglourious Basterds red carpet. But what I do know is that they routinely repeat National Enquirer's breakup stories, despite various sightings and encounters confirming that the Jolie-Pitts are still rock solid. And I know that they didn't mention the Parade Magazine interview in which Brad, himself, said that the fire is still there... and in the grotto.

There were no mention on the usual morning show gossip segments because there was nothing to report... except that Angelina looked smoking hot in black leather. Because, of course, grown women don't want to know that... at least, that's what radio research has determined.

And there was no mention of the red carpet on On Air with Ryan Seacrest - maybe because his cheesy @$$ wasn't allowed on the red carpet. But since Brad Pitt's scent is still in the air, Peecrust couldn't denied the urge of bringing him up and he used a cheap teaser to 'spank' Brad - metaphorically, of course.

Seriously, Peecrust... was it necessary to say essentially 'A mysterious woman is Brad Pitt's babymomma'? Turns out the story was about the bat$h*t b*tch who held a press conference claiming to be the Jackson children's bio mother - along with being Brad Pitt's mother. And the mother of Brad Pitt's children, which would be quite a trick.

So why did you do that, Peecrust? Because Angelina looked impossibly sexy in that black leather dress and that Brad clearly looked very appreciative?

He's hers - not yours.

Stop PMS-ing about it, 'kay?

Okay, Peecrust... put away the wood!

So Quentin Tarantino was a call-in guest on On Air with Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest made a point of saying that he got a copy of Inglourious Basterds for viewing.

While the movie is over 2 1/2 hours long and boasts an international cast, including Christoph Waltz, who is getting major Oscar buzz, Peecrust spent the majority of the interview mentioning Brad Pitt; asking about Brad Pitt; and practically drooling about Brad Pitt.

This, right here, is why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie duck Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet. That ostracized fat boy from high school always come out, along with the repressed gayness. The same with DiPandi - the scoliosis chick always comes out, resulting in the most vacuous, stilted red carpet interviews. Maybe they need to shed the belief that their old high school wounds can only be healed by rubbing elbows with A-List celebrities.

At any rate, it's foolish of me to think that Peecrust will work on his weaknesses, since executives continue to shove money down his pockets, despite his mediocrity.

When will the Jermaine Jackson barrage stop?

So Jermaine was on Larry King, yet again, talking about plenty of nothing. I'm telling you, whenever that fool talks, I shake with rage, especially when he says the word 'love'. That fcuker only loves the spotlight and since he couldn't get it, much less sustain it, without Michael, he sure as hell can get it now, using Michael's memory and temporary cache of the Jackson name. Because soon, I hope, interviews with the surviving siblings, except Janet, will not be worth a damn.

It's sad, really. I used to put such store in this family. I thought that they were the ideal. Then jealousy reared it's ugly head - first Jermaine, then LaToya. I think about how, after Thriller broke huge, Michael continued to help his siblings and past collaborators by singing hooks or doing duets and yet, these are the same people who quickly turned on him when they realize that they had to stand on their own feet. Given that Jermaine was the first Jackson to sever ties with Joe, he should've understood that Michael had the same right; the only difference was that Michael broke through like a muthafcka and Jermaine didn't. Thinking back on it, I think that Jermaine's participation in that Tootie as an obsessed fan storyline on Facts of Life was a concession. I think that because Kim Fields was friends with Janet, I think that a favor was called in on behalf of Jermaine because the more realistic scenario would've been that Michael was the object of Tootie's affections. And according to Jermaine, it looks like he'll be calling on Janet for another favor - touring with the brothers. And I hope she says HELL TO THE FCUKING NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments like this make me wonder why the Jacksons didn't follow the example of New Edition. Yes, New Edition was created to recapture the Jackson magic, but the members were able to do solo projects and create split off groups like Bell Biv Devoe. Because of this, they knew that they could stand on their own two feet, if need be, along with fulfilling some long-denied ambition. The Jacksons didn't do this - maybe they thought that it was unnecessary to 'prove' themselves - they were Jacksons. But you noticed that the two who did, Michael and Janet, were the most successful ones. Tito, after all of these years, is venturing out on his own; other than that, the ones seeking out the spotlight - Jermaine, LaToya, and Joseph - are coasting on others' past glories.

So, I'm blocking damn near everything that came out of Jermaine's mouth, except the giggle-worthy parts. For example, the part about Jermaine not knowing about Michael's drug issues. For someone claiming to be Michael's right hand, that seemed like 100% balloon juice. The very fact that Jermaine continue to insinuate himself, along with the willing brothers, into projects that their participations are wanted or needed is pretty funny too. Reading Vanity Fair and how he tried to get an Annie Leibowitz photo spread... like, please!! And BTW... after reading the VF article, I am convinced that those phone conversations are real. Mind you, some of the things discussed sounded awfully familiar - like it was in a tell-all.

Still... I hope more of these conversations come to light, especially the ones telling how Michael really felt about his siblings, especially Jermaine.

The fellas continue to do it better

Do Hollywood actresses have a blind spot or something?

Actually, I should be more specific - do Hollywood actresses dependent on the romantic comedy genre have a blind spot or something?

Obviously, they do because they continue to $h*t out formulatic cr@p that bears no resemblance to reality or the reality that real women actually wish for. These actresses seem to gravitate to over the top caricatures, which really don't require contemplation, empathy or actual acting. It's bad enough that film critics and historians wrote off the genre - the women making their bread and butter off of this have the same contempt for the genre, despite their public protests to the contrary.

One of the things that could put an end to the really cr@ppy female-protagonist-driven romantic comedies is to stop interviewing/giving cover stories to the actresses of this genre. We know too much about these women and what we know comes across as annoying, ungrateful, whiny and shallow. And the worse thing - not funny. Someone, probably Buster Keaton, said that comedy is serious business - these actresses take themselves too d@mn seriously or rather, they take their cobbled together PR-created public personas too seriously. I don't give a d@mn about how Katherine Heigl feels about working 17 hour days on Grey Anatomy. I really don't give a d@mn if Jennifer Aniston is finally coming to grips with being America's poster girl for 'lonely' chick. If these broads put on pious airs in their comedies, the universe would immediately bring them low, at least, that's what used to happen in comedies, especially the masterpieces. Actually, I've noticed that in real life - when I'm being pompous beyond human comprehension, that's when I lose a side mirror. Although I am grateful that I don't have 24 hour access to these obnoxious broads, it would be nice to know that the universe tried and maybe, it knocked some wisdom and humility into them.

Just saying that I didn't know $hit about Terri Garr, Madeliene Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Rosalind Russell, Jennifer Saunders, Tracey Ullman, and dozens of other actresses/comedy geniuses and yet, their works were impeccable.

Now to the fellas... I saw 500 Days of Summer today, another male-centered romantic comedy that worked. Hell, it went beyond working. It felt authentic. Joseph Gordon Levitt's Tom seemed like a regular guy and he was likable. Zooey Deschenal's Summer seemed like a regular and likable girl and yet, their relationship didn't work out. There was no attempt to paint either as a bad guy and yet, you felt empathy for both of them. And I liked that Summer seemed so decisive about her attitudes about love; it didn't feel like it was an invitation for Tom to 'prove her wrong' or a cue for him to pull a romantic gesture, as if romantic gestures are the cure-all for female doubt.

Oh wait - that is the cure-all for female doubt in mainstream Hollywood films.

Damn!!

BTW... despite both Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschenal's long resumes, neither of them are on magazine covers, whining about past pains and previous perceived personal injustices. Actually, this should apply to Zooey, since male pain aren't regularly discussed nor sought out for possible magazine cover stories. But surely, the Heigls and Anistons could take a page out of Zooey's book and shut the up every one in a while (read: FOREVER!).

Jermaine Jackson on Larry King... again

Why?

Doesn't he know that people are tired of looking at his 'pained', shiny face? Tired of the affected tone in his voice? Tired of his insistence that he always had Michael's back... despite mounting evidence to the contrary. Like Word to the Badd. Like the Legacy book that Stacy Brown co-wrote with him, which, allegedly, exposed all of Michael's dark secrets. Like the Pepsi burn footage when several dudes assisted Michael while Jermaine continued performing for the cameras (a word, Jermaine... when the star is down, the lip-synching stops).

And this is the cynic in me, but isn't it funny that Jermaine's kids, including Jermajesty (eyeroll!), are all of a sudden, Prince Michael, Paris, and Blanket's best friends?

Rickey Smiley - funniest $h*t ever!!! pt 2

Before the Rickey Smiley morning crew were bounced off the air, they engaged in one of the nastiest tirades I have ever heard... and it was directed at a 4 year old child.

Zahara Jolie-Pitt.

Apparently, Gary, of Gary with the Tea, saw a pap pic of Zahara wearing her hair in an afro. Insults like bird's nest and nappy came out. But the worst was 'sheep's ass' which came out of the mouth of so-called father/saved man Rickey Smiley. The nastiness in his tone and the fact that kept repeating it makes me worry for his children, especially his daughter. This cr@ppy attitude is the reason why many of us Black women are 'chemically dependent', which is even more ironic, since one of the discussion topics from earlier this week, was about the concept of 'good hair' within the Black community. All of the positivity and goodwill generated from that segment went down the crapper after 'sheep's ass'.

Disgraceful!!!

Rickey Smiley - funniest $h*t ever!!! pt 1

It was likely a practical joke, although the harassment against 'Joyce' was actionable, but the Rickey Smiley morning crew got bounced off the air.

Except for the ever-absent Darius Bradford who happened to show up at work today.

He had a $hitty attitude.

Respected the commitment.

Victor Newman -SUCH A HATER!

Didn't care much for Victor's 'attitude' towards Nikki on Wednesday's Y & R. Saying that the man loving a woman infinitely more than she does him spells doom? Errrr... okay.

Seems to me, with all of his relationships, the woman loved him more than he did them... and they were doomed... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Not cool what Victor said to Nikki, but the flashbacks of Nikki's life with Victor and Paul was. Pound for pound, Paul always kept Nikki's best interests at heart. Victor... not so much.

I hope that Nikki will give everything she's got to Paul. Paul, being an awesome guy, always seem to get shafted in the romance department.

As for Mary Jane killing Victor's dog... WTF!!! Way out of order.

Paula Abdul = Jane Pauley?

Don't watch American Idol.

Don't like American Idol.

But doesn't Paula's situation mirror Jane Pauley's Today Show drama from the late 80s?

Jane Pauley was Deborah Norville's friend too. Then suddenly, Jane was given the gate and Deborah was conveniently right there to step into her place.

Kinda the same situation with Star Jones - mind you, she wasn't friends with Rosie O'Donnell, but she had to pretend to be friendly, despite knowing that her replacement was hovering around in the background, waiting for her moment.

What is with this pattern? Women, smiling it up while eating it, career-wise, as if this betrayal will go down better.

See... it pays to clown immediately after you realize that you're being hosed!!!

And clearly, Peecrust knows how to work the shaft. The most tactless, unfunny, uncharismatic TV host and yet... 15 million dollars a year?!!!

Governing myself accordingly...

Given enough time, a mind can be changed.

Mine certainly has... I kinda like the Rickey Smiley Morning Show.

Yes, it can be a hot ghetto mess, at times, but it is pretty d@mn funny. And some pretty intelligent conversations can be had.

Gary with the Tea... Bernice Jenkins... Cora in the Upper Room... the Praise breaks... even Darius Bradford's call-ins/excuses for not showing up to work.

Although their admission that they would rather play R&B/neosoul versus their hip hop format, today, they got me because of Joe Jackson. Under the ruse of some expert talking about the Cash for Clunkers program, there Joe was, pimping something or other, again. If his whoredom becomes a regular part of the show, I'm cool with that, because at least Rickey Smiley, Ebony and the rest of the morning crew to make funny out of thorough repulsive behavior.

Will still listen to Tom Joyner in the evening because it's more compatible to my personal sensibilities, but it's nice to have a radio show that can eat three hours out of my workday.

C'mon, Chloe... give Chance a piece!!!

Just kidding... a little.

I want the Y & R writers to take their time with this. There's nothing better than well-crafted and well-acted sexual tension and I absolutely want that for Chance and Chloe.

However... the hotness of Chance is something that I really can't take. I watched Tuesday's episode before bed and I never slept so good. I have no idea what dude did, but it was pretty d@mn hot. I think it was that he really listened to Chloe, which can be hard since she's a bubbly little thing. He listened very intently, but you also got the impression that he was thinking about kissing her. Maybe he was thinking about where to begin. On the cheek? On her neck? Or maybe just going for the gold and planting a nice one on her lips.

But Billy has to be completely out of Chloe's mind. Chloe is my medium, per say, and I don't want douchy Billy being a motivating factor for impetus Hot Chance makeout.

Kiss him and kiss him well, sweetie. But most importantly, love him and love him well.

Chance is a keeper. And so fcuking dreamy!!!

Santa Barbara 25 - Kelly and Eden

A few weeks ago, I promised myself that I would try not to seek out negativity and blog about it. So far, I have failed, although I'm practically being gob-smacked, left and right, because negativity is the focal point of entertainment journalism.

My slap-happy attempt at paying tribute to Santa Barbara was a temporary reprieve. But seriously... why should it remain temporary? I can't tell you how much pleasure I got, spending hours searching for Santa Barbara clips. It was an affirmation that I didn't waste my formative years on a television show that sucked. In fact, the vast majority of the clips I found felt pretty timeless.

So why not create an excuse to visit YouTube on the weekend in order to dig up some Santa Barbara gold. This past weekend yielded quite a nugget that I nearly forgotten. This clip features Marcy Walker as Eden and Robin Wright as Kelly. Eden was recently paralyzed and 'performing the grand gesture' of protecting Cruz from taking care of her by dumping him. Kelly is there to call her on her cr@p. This clip was a fabulous reminder of the early days of the Eden/Kelly relationship; unfortunately, the writers and casting directors didn't carry over Kelly's strength and intelligence when it came time to recast her after Robin Wright left the show.

Robin Wright has been on my mind lately because she has a movie, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee coming out soon. There is some early buzz that Robin will finally get her due as an actress; personally, I hope that comes to pass. But here's a taste of her promise about 22 years ago.

I thought Joe Jackson was bad...

Actually, Joe Jackson is still bad. Fcuk, he's the worse... practically salivating at the thought that the Omar dude could very well be Michael's biological son, although he has already denied it.

Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if Omar, Prince Michael, Paris and Blanket were MJ's kids, but Michael took added steps to make sure that their paternity remains a question mark, because me thinks that Joe is so fixated on blood and 'being a Jackson' that he may leave all of them alone if they aren't related to him and if none of them carry any of Michael's talents.

And let's not forget the constant plugging of his record label in the days after Michael's death.

Death doesn't become Joe Jackson and apparently, the same can be said for Ryan O'Neal too.

I already posted about seeing him making out with a blonde chick the night he buried Farrah. But now O'Neal is on full disclosure mode, telling Vanity Fair that he made a pass at his daughter, Tatum, as Farrah's hearse drove her away.

His excuse? He didn't recognize her.

SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE GRIFFIN, THE SON YOU ASSAULTED AND THREATENED NUMEROUS TIMES!!!!!

There are no excuse for this 'mistake'. Tatum wasn't botoxed within an inch of her life; she didn't change hair color; and she didn't pack on an excessive amount of weight. When you are a good father, you know what your daughter looks like; and when you are a good man, you do not spend the funeral reception for your 'great love', busting moves on desperate, tasteless women who have a penchant, or blind spot, for portly, blotchy, has-been actors whose brain is so fried that he can't discern Tatum from dumb tail!!

And if this doesn't push people to take another look at Tatum's tell all, from a few years ago, nothing will.

Santa Barbara 25 - Cruz and Eden

Listen up, daytime network executives and pseudo-soap opera writers...

Pairing up a sexy, intense Hispanic cop with a cool WASP-y blonde does not a soap supercouple make. And yes, I talking to Bill Reilly and all of the hack writers of Passions to tried to coattail the awesomeness of the one and only...

CRUZ AND EDEN!!!

I hesitate dwelling on the interracial aspect of this relationship, since that was not even a factor in why I loved this couple; however, A Martinez and Marcy Walker's reign as one of soaps' finest couples should serve as a template to those writers who want to venture into the territory of creating an authentic, compelling interracial couple who exists beyond their skin color. I am sick of seeing interracial couples who can't even kiss each other convincing (therefore authentic, romantic love-making is out of the question); couples who can't communicate with each other honestly; and who can't cultivate a friendship/intimacy that can combat some disapproval and flat-out racism in the outside world. Lately, the creation of interracial couples has been for the sole purpose of insinuating that the writers and producers are people of the world and are appreciative of diversity; but yet again, the hollowness and lack of knowledge, not only about other races, but what exactly are universal experiences that we all share, shines through, and inevitably, the new interracial couple, or even the new couple, consisting of two persons of color, gets ushered to the backburner or become sounding boards for their White counterparts.

Cruz and Eden never met that fate; they were front and center for the vast majority of Santa Barbara's run. Whatever the combination - the writers, the producers, the insane chemistry between Marcy Walker and A Martinez, Santa Barbara struck gold with this pairing. Although their romance could be, at times, over the top, the love and friendship felt real. Because the love and friendship felt real, the love-making felt really real, or at least, something to aspire to have. Yes, the devolution of soaps and the dry-humping frenzied musings of hip hop/rap continue to brainwash women into settling for less, but seeing Cruz and Eden, during my teens, kept many a dude from taking occupancy between my thighs.

For me, Cruz was the key to his couple's success. While Cruz was walking sex in a pair of tight jeans and a Members Only jacket, he loved Eden unwaveringly. When his exes came back, they remained exes, except when he thought that Eden had 'died' or when Cruz wanted to help an old friend reclaim the child she gave away. But Cruz's heart never really changed.



This is not to say that Eden had a fickle heart. She loved Cruz more than any man she had ever known... nevertheless, she allowed Robert Barr to get under her skin, which nearly destroyed her marriage to Cruz. Of course, Eden was also wrestling with other doubts - never about Cruz, but mostly about herself. Or rather, whether she would repeat the same patterns as her mother Sophia. Eden never 'cheated' on Cruz, but she did do the typical soap heroine thing- marry dudes she didn't love. She married bat$hit Kirk Cranston, who caused plenty of problems for them after they married, but at least his antic wound up pretty comical.



Cruz and Eden ended only because Marcy Walker wanted to try her hand at prime-time. The dumb-dumbs in charge, during the last years of SB, decided that it would be keen to pair Cruz with Kelly, who was being portrayed by Eileen Davidson. Not only was the casting of Davidson an abomination, so was the notion that either Cruz or Kelly would venture into a thorough inappropriate (and unconvincing) relationship. Personally, I would've loved it if A Martinez pulled a Louise Sorel and ditched the show before he was paired with someone who would elicit such controversy and hate from fans.

But back to the loving...

Santa Barbara 25 - Mason and Julia

Cool - the perfect adjective for Mason. The perfect adjective for Julia.

Two cool customers.

Too cool for school.

Cooler heads prevailed.

This was the case when either of them were in court, whether they were defending a client or prosecuting an accused. Except when they were on opposite sides of an issue. Julia's participation in the Mark McCormick case threatened to create an irrevocable divide between the two of them, but in the end, Julia opted to circumvent due process in favor for justice for Mason's love, Mary; sadly, the big C sign fell on Mary, leaving Mason heartbroken and out for blood. Julia wasn't exempt from his wrath.

I forget what made Mason and Julia mend fences- maybe he found out what Julia was trying to do- but eventually, they buried the hatchet. They still had a very adversarial relationship in court, and yet, Julia saw something in Mason that compelled her to consider him as a potential sperm donor.

Julia developed an itch - an itch to become a mother. And given her track record with men, she figured that the picket fence destiny that most women bank on was not for her. So she took matters into her hands (no pun intended). Mason, still reeling from losing Mary, was at loose ends too. He envisioned a happy life with Mary and the child she was carrying. Mason wasn't looking for empty sex, but he sure wasn't interested in revisiting loving and losing. So when Julia bandied the idea of Mason being possibly perfect DNA material, given his intelligence and looks (although Julia would never linger on that aspect for too long), Mason was surprisingly game. Whatever told him to go along with this was a godsend because this marked the beginning of one the most complicated, engaging, humorous pairings in Santa Barbara history.





Julia knew what she was doing. Being an attorney, she could've insisted that Mason make a deposit at a sperm bank and came in for an appointment. Or, she could've opted for the do-it-yourself turkey baster method, in order for her to maintain control over the whole process. Instead, she opted to get it directly from the tap. OFTEN. She had the money to keep this a detached enterprise, but no.... And then there's Mason. Sure, he was still in mourning, and he had doubts about being a father, given the kind of father he had, but he opted to participate in something that would tie him to Julia for life. Kinda funny how a progressive feminist like Julia wanted to be connected to a sometimes chauvanistic traditionist like Mason and yet, it worked. It worked like a muthafcuka!!!



Along the way, both made mistakes - Mason married Tory and pretended to be the father of Tory's child and Julia pretended that she was satisfied with being a single mother - actually, she was satisfied, but she was also in love with Mason. When Tory was completely out of the picture, then Mason's alcoholism took hold; then Mason developed an alter, Sonny, who was attracted to Gina, not Julia. Then, Julia slept with Father Michael, blah, blah, blah... eventually, they found themselves back together. Then Lane Davies left the show, putting an end to the heat, chemistry, and witty banter that was a nice alternative to all-consuming romance of Cruz and Eden.

Lane Davies and Nancy Grahn were sometimes characterized as the Tracy-Hepburn of the Santa Barbara scene, but it went beyond that. Davies' Mason wasn't about cutting Grahn's Julia down to size and Julia wasn't about making over Mason to be a more modern man. These two people were already in transition and fortunately, their interactions with each other facilitated a more well-rounded, authentic evolution for both of them.

And they were hot as hell together too.