Diane Dimond: Investigative Reporter. But what, exactly, does she investigate?

Seriously... what does this b*tch 'investigate'?

Ever since MJ's passing, Diane Dimond's pear-shaped behind has been ensconced on the Entertainment Tonight/Insider set. Technically, I think that Entertainment Tonight was her second choice, given that in the days following MJ's death, her @$$ was parked on Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell, until she was thoroughly confronted by the fedora-wearing Jackson family lawyer. When he got in her @$$, she hauled her pear @$$ promptly to ET, which is currently helmed by former Hard Copy producer, Laura Blue or whatever. Initially, she did provide Jackson information; unfortunately, a lot of it was promptly disproven by MJ's autopsy information, in addition to the footage from This is It.

So what's a lying hack to do? Follow Jon Gosselin around during his divorce hearings. Or show up at a Sarah Palin book signing. Or station oneself near the marina where Tiger Woods' yacht was moored. Or position oneself outside of Nancy Kerrigan's father's funeral. Or just recently, making yet another appearance at another book signing - this time, John Edwards is the politician in the crosshairs.

But the question remains... what exactly is Diane Dimond doing, besides collecting a paycheck and undeserved airtime? Because she is not revealing anything that another journalist hasn't already covered. All she's doing is repeating information that anyone can get from the internet and capping her initial segment with a supposed teaser, which usually doesn't amount to anything.

So today, after getting tired of shaking my head about the fact that Diane Dimond continues to get turns at bat, despite a dismal batting average, something popped into my head that pretty much summarizes Dimond's career and it came in the form of Designing Women, specifically, Suzanne Sugarbaker.

Good ole Suzanne Sugarbaker. Such an unexpected sage, because this clip demonstrates what so-called entertainment 'journalists' do. Much like Suzanne, what they do don't break a sweat and yet, they delude themselves into believing that it's enough when it's hardly the bare minimum.